Bodies:
1:33am
The spell was cast. I watched it burn. It was a relaxed evening. So relaxed. Stars and clouds could be seen all around clearly. It is night, with enough light to witness the darkness in form.
Relaxed. Focused. Let the sub-conscious work at its own rate. No need to force or restrain anything.
Later, as he was walking through the night, with the smoldering tray of insence in his left hand, his mind wondered, and I summoned a friend.
“Just one kiss, if you don’t mind.”
[Not at all]
And his mind wondered still…
"Why do I feel this attraction? I know that many beings are beautiful. Did I want to honor a form…?
Why… why the attraction…
It’s a hint – towards something deeper that I want. I like it. In some ways I miss it.
Nostalgically, he tried to revert his form – for a moment… But he felt uneasy in his chest, as it was close to being an effort, so he allowed himself to slip back into this [now] natural form. [I can’t go back.]
“…I, I think I know… I want to experience it. I want to feel it. I want to acquire it. I want to understand it. There is a spirit underneath that body, and I want it.
Would you mind holding me for a moment?”
[Not at all]
"And I placed one hand against his chest. I focused. I felt the texture of the fur. I felt the texture, and the temperature, but I wanted the essence I focused more deeply, allowing myself to see through him. I remembered that spirit. I began to know that spirit more. I want to be refreshed by this species. I really do enjoy it. I also remember…
Perhaps this is a sign that I will eventually reconcile my third form with my second? Or, maybe not… I wont force myself back – or hold myself back, in any way with this.
Still… I can observe someone close to it… and I do like it…
It’s considered by the laymen – that a mere two-dimensional imitation of a body can be a very pricey and admirable thing, but they are afraid to touch a real one, and hardly see the value in it. But… touching is a form of knowing; knowing bodies.
After I fully realized what I want, I was soon satisfied. I took it in, from without. But he – also had desires. So, despite my hesitations throughout my whole life, allowed it, as the Defian has no fear.
So he ran his hands around me.
He felt all 11 horns, from the two largest at the back, to the three small ones running up the snout.
He felt my mane.
Feeling him do this helped me to affirm what I had suspected about my own details, as I was naturally unsure.
I remember touching his teeth earlier.
It was interesting.
He felt the muscle shapes on my back,
Then felt the feathers of my two wings.
Not as soft as the fur, but an interesting texture – none the less.
Almost surprisingly, the entire body was entirely clean.
He ran his fingers through my fur. The hair was thick and soft; brown mostly, but white near the root, connected into black skin.
He put his hand against the aluminum-plated relic on my solar plexus. He likes the way that feels. He knows what power and existence is.
He felt the musculature of my front, then came down to the feet. I stopped for a moment, and lifted the toes. Two toes, hoof like, with a pad at the heel. He put his hand around one toe, and gently moved it up and down. He liked to feel texture, density, scent, color, form, everything.
He’s a rather intimate person, and when I think about his passed, he’s done almost everything with them. He’s generated then poured his blood into their mouths as their dismembered parts [with his guidance] reform. He’s killed some enemies. He’s hauled his friends into cities. He’s seen so much, but his mind can take any of it, and he’s still fine… It’s strange how he just fully recovered, after more then three-hundred years of so many different things. He eventually just found his center, and was right with himself with everything.
I also learned the function of the tail which was three snakes. It is connected to the base-chakra’s consciousness. Each mouth has a firm grip, and fangs which can be folded back then tucked away, as he found out – when it bit his tongue, but it didn’t hurt him. It usually bites onto the carnal earth, and swallows up the spine, into the higher mind.
Again and again he felt me. How many fingers do I have? 2? 3? Ah, four, and a thumb, which is a relief. But the fourth finger was so short. It seemed receding I also, of course, had a thumb on that hand which he was feeling. There are 6 pads. One at the base of each digit, then one on each side of the palm. My pads are black, and like hairless rubber."
It was a vivid experience, and I allowed him to go anywhere without resistance. When it was over – [not that anything is truly over] – I realized that he was doing to me what I had done to him, but in his own way. He was feeling my whole existence, part-by-part, learning from it, and taking it into his mind. Deeper, literal sensations are the deepest forms of experience, because of how much insight it takes to actually use these.
'Twas a fine thing. I wonder if we will ever get to where we can each materialize and dematerialize at will…? It’s a question that I’m not going to suppress I’m not afraid I will store the ashes from what I’d burned – dissolved in oil. I will know power.
If you saw it, you wouldn’t believe it. If you believed it, you wouldn’t see it. I’m not going to say the moon’s position in the sky was natural tonight. I want more…