Book Idea for a Gift Requested

As I brainstorm gift ideas for my parents for Christmas, I request all of your assistance.

Both of my parents have spent their lives naively following a fairly fundamental Christianity. While I also grew up and followed the faith for a number of years, university and my study of philosophy moved me away from such simple beliefs. I now struggle to connect with my parents on any issue and a sense of anger has permeated our relations as I know they’re disappointed in my lack of “faith.”

I’m looking for a book that will help move them past a naive faith. I wouldn’t mind if they remained firm Christians, willing to debate and stand up for their faith but they simply get emotionally angry whenever I ask them to think critically about certain elements of their belief. At the end of the day, they know very little about their own bible and religion’s history beyond what a rural minister has told them.

I don’t deny that a man named Jesus may have walked the earth and had a great message to share. A message of love, peace, and unity for all humankind. Is there a text that will illuminate this for them while teaching them to think critically about some of their beliefs that are actually harmful to society (ie. anti-homosexuality, a firm believe in the righteousness and good will of our government, etc.)

My mom is a nurse and my dad a trucker, so bare in mind that neither of them read a lot or are educated beyond their profession. They see their son as lost in a “craziness” he developed at university.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

12.19.06.1806

As they are not the kind of people who read much, it might be best to explain it all yourself, but start simple. Show that a person without religious conviction is still a normal law-abiding citizen and that such a person can have a morality with a set value system.
You might even want to start with introducing ideas of other religious beliefs that have the same ideas as Christianity. If that is not a favorable idea, as you say they are dissapointed in you for your lack of faith, perhaps your only option is to flat out prove the contradictions of the Bible in front of them; forcing them to acknowledge that the “truth” is “false.” Yet that would be going to far.
Then again, you might even want to elaborate to them the history of Christianity; the fact that it spread throughout the world by war and torture, and that the Inquisition was not a misunderstanding of real Christianity, but an expression of it. For, if you really take everything in the Bible as accurate, and I mean no cherry picking, you will find that the truth is violent and destructive to society.

Well, I’d recommend that you and your parents make an attempt to read Brian McLaren’s “A Generous Orthodoxy” together and discuss the issues that will undoubtably arise.

amazon.com/Generous-Orthodox … F8&s=books

I doubt that either of you will agree with everything he says, but it might give you a place to start communication. McLaren is an evangelical (one of Time magazine’s 25 most influential evangelicals) and therefore part of your parents culture. But does a good job raising some of the difficult questions about American Christianity in a non-threatening manner.

Thanks for your replies. One of the reasons that I’m banging my head against the wall is that I’ve tried to calmy do the very things you recommend Sage (though I confess to sometimes allowing emotion to seep into the arguement.)

At this moment, my parents current response to everything is “Why are you trying so hard to ruin our happiness?” Followed by bursts of everything from anger to tears to requests that I leave the house (which of course at the end of the day, they never mean.)

I’m sure it sounds crazy, but in all honest, these emotional outbursts come as a response to questions like, “What is this image of heaven that you’re so excited about that you need to believe everything the bible says to get there?” There was a sincere lack of an answer, except that everything’s perfect there. We’ll just know “all the answers” when we get there, so there’s not point wasting your entire life searching for them now. “Waste” is a common word my parents use to define my interest in philosophy.

Hmmm…they sound a lot more intelligent than you described before.

Ned Flanders, the true apex of an open mind.

Having an open mind is over-rated, especially if you’re considering whether to look both ways before crossing a busy road.

Overrated by whom?

Overrated by whom? Certainly not for a man looking for answers. When one settles for what they are taught then they are cattle lead to the slaughter. Especially if you’re considering whether to examine your own life.

Fuck man.

Now I’m gonna be on all sorts of crazy jesusite mailing lists.

These $17 (14 plus shipping) better be worth it Ned.

Hi-diddly-ho neighbor-it-to.

You owe me one giant nacho sombero if this book isn’t good.

Ned,

You’re reusing definitions there bud. Of course you don’t realize because hey… having an open mind is like having an open dictionary – boring!

Cenns,

You want to try talking about the things you agree on. Reinforce to them that you haven’t become the fear eating the inside of them – some alien intellect devoid of pesonality or whatever. You once all pretty much agreed right? If you lay out the path you took in your reasoning and they cannot agree with you then you know you’ve tried your best because you can’t really do much better than the bare bones account of how you got to your truth.

Or can you? I should ask Chomsky…

The point is I would make it active. You can add books to the mix but there’s no gauruntee they will read them.

“An open mind is like a fortress with its gate unbarred and unguarded."

–Warhammer 40K rulebook (2nd edition)

Glad I could grab a quick middle-school moment there.

The Fortress is empty cause the ruler decided he’s rather spend life walking… :wink:

You’ve opened the door to a world of pain…plus some focus on the family junk mail…Ha,ha…

I’m not sure you’ll like it, it might not be intellectual enough for a hard-core rationalist like you. McLaren is a pastor not a theologian, and it shows sometimes. But he does present a version of Christianity that is more attractive than most of us do, and that I do admire.

Let me know what you think.

Sorry, Gobbo, I’ll do my best to keep it fresh in the future.

I’m not sure if anyone cares, but I was actually semi-serious. An “open mind” is often lauded as a fantastic thing to have, as if the highest goal of humanity should be to remain open to every possibility and not make any determination as to the value of competing ideas. While this might seem intellectually enlightening, it is of no practical use whatsoever.

It seems to me that the rules one learns about crossing the road, driving in traffic (I obviously have cars on the brain today), handling a firearm, eating a balanced diet, behaving in a socially acceptable manner in public, etc… are the complete antithesis of “keeping an open mind”. We learn to follow accepted patterns of behavior that produce the most benefit to ourselves and society. If we approach these practical aspects of life with “an open mind” we will soon be dead, injured, or in jail. We don’t look at the guy driving the wrong way up the freeway firing a shotgun in the air and say, “wow, I’m sure glad he’s keeping an open mind about the rules of traffic and firearm use, more people should follow his example!”.

So, when people talk about the fact that we should all “keep an open mind”, what they are really saying is “lets keep an open mind about everything, except those parts of life that are vitally important”.

I can’t help but think that an open, critical mind is much different than simply an open mind. Often, we are taught as we get older to be more open-minded but unfortunately our childhood education has all too often left out some of the necessary skills (cough, logic) that we need to evaluate new ideas if we are to espouse such an open-mind.

Hi cenns. Back to the original question, I’d like to answer as someone who appreciates your rationalism, and your parents’ religion.

First, is it so bad the way they live their lives? Are they unhappy? Why do you need a book to convert them?

My advice: if they will accept it, offer them a book by a Christian apologist, like C.S.Lewis (I’m thinking of his essays) or G.K. Chesterton. (You might read them yourself before wrapping them, by the way.) :wink: These authors can get them interested in thinkers without violating their religious principles (unless they don’t go for Anglo-Catholics). Maybe they will become an item of conversation among you.

mrn

I would argue that inspite of their very happy lives, there is absolute need to seek change in their ways of thinking. They have spent their entire lives believing blinding in Christianity. Neither of them can clearly articulate what they actually believe, why they believe in certain elements of scripture but reject others, or why their religion is a better answer then others. Their faith, in essence, has never been criticized (even if in a positive way.)

I believe that many Christians carry over this uncritical thinking to their politics. They believe naively that the government, at the end of the day, will work things out even if they are greedy clowns at times. They believe that if we’re at war, there’s obviously really sound justification even if they don’t know what it is.

If we want to see significant change, if we want the government to truly start representing the people, then it is essential that we be critical in all means of thinking.