I want to discuss these little buggers with you guys.
I’ve met quite a few of them in my time on this planet so far…and I gotta say… they’re the most interesting people to me. They’re dangerous as hell, they’re shifty, they’re unstable, but … in an odd way… they’re the most predictable people in the world. I’ve never met human beings that are so predictable.
It’s like, every last one of them…they’re chinese finger traps. The more you push them away, the closer they get to you. The closer you get to them, the more they try to hurt you. They’re dooming themselves to the most shallow relationships humanly possible through fits and underhanded (and often badly executed) tactics.
One borderline I knew was a mother of a friend of mine. She flew to Las Vegas on vacation and left this girl over at my house. She called…once… and sure enough, no one picked up. The next morning, there’s a loud banging knock on our door…guess who is here to yell at us and her daughter. She flew overnight from Nevada to Virginia because her daughter didnt pick up the phone once.
But the reason this comes up now…is because I obsess over people who fit this personality description. I’m completely infatuated with them… like… in a sick demented sort of way. I want … to… manipulate them. To make them extremely angry, then to convince them it’s their fault. Why? They forget … one minute these people are your worst enemies, but if you act like you dont care (which I often times do not), then they come crawling back EVERY TIME in an almost “hey, please abuse me more” sort of codependant way. “Leave me; don’t go” is how my parents always put it.
Why am I attracted to these guys? Have any of you had experience with people of this personality disorder? I wanna hear some wild trash-talk stories!
The text on my site is fine, you have your font size in your browser settings set to small for some reason…probably because your resolution settings are super small. I don’t cater to small people. You miss out on so much when your settings are that low, and dude, there’s no reason unless you’re damn near blind to have it that low.
Even in 800x600 my font is still extremely readable. Check your browser settings.
having read the symptoms of bdp I found out i’m of that sort. it is more appartnt however in the periods when I don’t eat for a longer period. anyone having the same feeling or suspition? i’m not saying I’m completely borderline, but I have a propensity for it.
But it’s one of those disorders that are so hard to diagnose that you’d really have to have just about every single one of those symptoms to fit in.
I think that had I been raised in a less welcoming household, I probably would be full on BPD.
But borderlines lack the ability to admit fault in themselves… they keep life very shallow and … unreal. It’s kinda like the way no truly self actualized person could call themselves self actualized… no borderline can admit to themselves fault in their behavior pattern. If they do, then they’re no longer full-on borderline.
why should they admit to themselves being faulty if it"s nothing they can be blamed for? it is questionable if the disturbance like that should be considered a fault. how many other diagnoses there are, nearly everyone is psychopathologically faulty in some way.
Yes, it is a very sketchy disorder. It was highly debated as to whether it should even be added to the DSM.
However, after going to school, I have encountered three (more…in a personal and direct way) BPD’s, and they all have the same “traits”. You really do not get a good description of the type of person borderline’s are from the DSM’s description. However, when you meet them in real life, it’s fairly obvious that they’re not “ok”.
My father told me, after asking him about this, that when he first started researching this that the one thing he learned is that if you begin to hate your own client in therapy, that’s a major sign (indicator, not diagnosis tool) that perhaps you should consider that they are BPD. Sometimes they just wind up being chronic liars or narcicists, but most of the time, the patients that you lose all sense of empathy for are the BPD’s.
Wow, that sounds screwed up. I have heard earlier of borderline, but I didn’t understand what it was. But if that description gives a good notice, of what it is, to have a BDP in your life, then I surely try to get outta the way of it.
The above maybe? Maybe you’re looking for it to give you life a taste and flavour?
I looked at this in the archives, I think I am borderline, and sorry to say every day I seem to surprise myself. Which is good because nothing is worse than being bored by the mundane yet commendable ultra routine most lives consist of.
I also think highly of magic, and the time madonna sang borderline was curiously, and correspondingly too much of a casual coincidence, to go down, unnoticed, as re: what was going down in my life.
As the viennese guy with the heavy guttural accent would have said: “very interesting.”.
However not intending to bring this up for any other reason then to ponder on the very significant but controversial theory of types and archetypes, and how, these manifest as growing bubbles eventually surface and pop.
Why do you like messing with them is my first question. My next question is, why do borderlines forget and come back again and again to these people that treat them badly? Was it in their upbringing? What exactly was in their upbringing to make them this way do you suppose? And lastly how can they change for the better?
Like people who live in an uncertain world, they oscillate between modes of existence, their boundaries are uncertain, causing them to fluctuate between the real and unreal. That makes them less certain, trustful, in essence they drop the required artificiality and focus of restraint and convention, only to return to these modes when reminded, or constrained. In fact they harbor that delicious sense of naivete, from which they can never be released from, and only do so when their way becomes intolerable.
They come back to people who mistreat them because they are keen on seeing through the crap which most people use defensively in boundary situation, and since they internalize the situation into a point of view, they are more prone to use static, typical boundaries which are applicable in a general sense to most situations. They become inflexible and as a result, tend to view interactions in an either/or manner. Because of this, they become sensitive to rejection, and their ego can't deal with it, because of lack of awareness of their relevant workable self, unable to gradiate in between the lines, as it were.
Mostly the anomaly of adolescence has not resolved it's self, and if this doesn't happen post 20's, the ego function channels into the comorbities of self indulgence(narcissism), and others. They will be stuck on types, which they will project, and introject unto un typical, ideal people, whom they try to become involved with, and after they do, they fervently hold on to.
What is it that makes them so? That's a difficult question, upbringing has a lot to do with it, and since it is a problem of the personality, it is probably a holding on to personality types which have become intractable in face of inappropriate circumstances which is at the bottom of it.
CBT , or cognitive behavioral therapy, has been shown to have some success with people who have insight into their condition. It lays bare the relationship between thought, feeling and behavior, and noting inconsistencies between them.
I think grotesque and unworkable family constellations have a lot to do with presenting the borderline with inconsistent self view models.
I will try. Without going into the way the borderline personality was interpreted as in between psychotic and neurotic conditions , one can still safely say that borderline OE boundary situations still have a literal interpretation albeit very generally into what the condition is all about.
Boundaries are what takes place in consciousness as certain states are bound off depm ohert states. An differentiation of stages of psychological developmen is bound from each other. In interpersonal relations people do not talk about inappropriate matters is another examples. Conventional wisdom is bound by reified customary usage and behaviour.
Borderlines off do not observers convention consequentially being able to her through the bounded situations. Whether it is a matter of a psychologically manifested course of intentional or unintentional origin is masked by the lack of insight or communication of people thusly effected.
Borderlines have anomalous or fuzzy separations between private , privileged psychic and public ones. This leads to unresolved isues with dependency , autonomy , and generally with perceptions of uncertain identify deescriprions , images and roles.
A good example is multiple personality disorder as a subset of borderline personality disorder. It is difficult and sometimes not possible to differentiate between a true multiple personality from one which is caused by an intentional nihilization of self, for say, esoteric purposes.
For the best acts the reality behind it may become totally indiscernible even to the actor. The actor may be meant here generically as anyone who acts or behaves.