I feel silly asking this but I want to anyways…I am an 18 year old girl and have absolutely no experience with boys…ie dating. I have never even kissed a boy. Now there is a boy I want to pursue a possible relationship we hang out a lot, but I am afraid to tell him that my feelings for him are of a romantic nature. my reason is that i terrified of physical things,kissing and more so sex. it terrifies me…and my worst fear is that when he finds out that i have absolutely no expereince he wont like me. my question is do guys prefer a girl with expereince? does it matter? would you not like it if a girl knew nothing of such things?
I’m a 19 year old guy and I personally value a girls chastity above exprience. Look everyone has different values and no guy can speak for us all. But there is one thing that I believe every guy holds above what they value and that is the girl herself. I would say no matter what a person values if they care about the girl such things do not matter. And I would also like to add that the physical is great when the romance and feelings are there.
So to awnser you more directly if I found a girl like you I would think it extremly sweet and hope the physical turns out as good as us unexprienced imagine. If you want things to go good take the focus of yourself and put it on him is my advice.
I see what you mean, but then I just dont want to disappoint him in any way. I read another thread on this forum and it was saying stuff like…“if i like a girl but the sex isnt good I would dump her” I feel all reluctant to do physical with him just for that very reasoning on a guys part right there.
That is one persons opinion. And an immature one at that and here is why I think so. He says “If I like”. What do you mean if you like… Sex is the closest, most intimate exprience two people can have and he along with many others in our society take for granted this automatic physical intimacy that sex creates between two people before establishing a deep non-physical intimacy first, namly love. I think sex should be used to bring two people closer together and share something almost divine with one another and I think it should come about after establishing a lot of trust and emotional intimacy first. If sex is viewed this way and not as something mechanical that you get rated on then I believe it will be great for both of you.
If your not ready to talk to him about such things and let him know your fears and feelings before sex then you have not established intimacy with him. Having sex before doing so is to my mind unadvisable for the reasons specified above. When you two can talk intimatly and honestly to one another without sex and are very comfortable and trustworthy of one another then I think the sex would be the logical next step in bringing you two closer to one another.
Indeed establishing an already close relationship before having sex is ideal, thats partly why I am still a virgin because I believed that so much but also another part of it was again what i mentioned earlier, my fear of sex. Well him and I are actually quite close, I am just not by nature a very open person, its very hard for me to open up to people. And when it comes to sex it is just about the last subject I want to discuss, he has tried to discuss it before but I try to avoid it because I am so shy even the mention of the word sex and I swear I blush…see this sucks!!! lol
I held my ground on sex until I turned 22…and I regretted it.
It’s no big dealio. In the end, you’re not going to marry this guy, and if you do, you’ll regret that more than anything.
Just ask him out. If he says no, he says no. If he says yes, he may be less into the idea of having sex as you are…
But, it’s on your mind, obviously. Don’t try and hide nature’s desires. You want to boink him on some level. Blushing alone shows this.
How do you know she will regret marrying him?
Because she’s married the only man she’s ever slept with. There will be an undying curiocity that will torment her for the rest of her life.
The guy that said that was me. Let’s get that straight.
Blondie. You are a sweetheart, and keep your mind and heart open at all times. DO NOT WORRY about my statement. A man 10 out of 10 times would keep an unexperienced virgin. What is there not to like? You are the first guy. This girl will worship you. She will never forget you. You could teach her everything. And a girl that starts having sex, wants it more and more. It is a win / win situation.
But you have to also understand that sex is highly over rated. Highly over rated!
My statement was more in reference to girls that do have experience and suck in bed. Almost an impossiblity. For a girl to be bad in bed she must have some serious self esteem issues. It is improbable for a girl to not be able to satisfy a man. It is against the laws of physics.
i want to read more of those remarks, smooth, that’s sweet
I am definitly not speaking for every man. I speak for myself from what I’ve noticed in my adventures. Taking emotions out of the act of sex (and yes it is possible to just have sex with no emotions, except lust) and thinking that the point is to ejaculate it is impossible. Of course if the guy has some erection problems or things of the like.
All a girl has to do is lie on her back and be able to spread her legs wide enough. She needs to seem as if she is having sex. That is all. I have had a girl that was always so nervous and self-concious that she couldn’t spread her legs wide enough. Has anybody seen my picture? I’m skinny as all hell! I’m 5’9" @ 148lbs, I could fit in a mouse trap. And it is okay to be nervous. It is up to the man to make sure you are comfortable, and that you feel proud of being naked. That is part of giving you the self-confidence you might lack. But if you aren’t ready, you need to communicate.
The next girl was a girl that was so self-concious that she wanted to do it under bed sheets all the time. She would keep her shirt on, and just move her panties to the side. Turn off the lights. Under sheets. WTF??? Am I 17 all over again? It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t sensual or erotic. I felt like I was doing something wrong. Nope.
Then back to the first girl. When she finally was able to relax, she would just lay there. No noise, nothing. I would look at her face and it was normal. Seriously, it seemed as if she was taking a nap. It sucked! And I was still able to get my orgasm.
Obviously these two girls are abnormal freaks that had serious issues with themselves. It is impossible, but these girls proved the impossible - possible. But the fact that they were so warped in their minds, told me that they weren’t human afterall, and so my conclusion. A girl can not be bad in bed. If you are honest and talk to the guy about it. And you take it as slow as possible, and try new things. Relax and have fun!!! You can not be bad. Especcially if you moan… woooo-hooo!!
Blondie:
– Smooth
– Rafajafar
Words of wisdom. How in the hell it makes sense that Rafa is 22 and never married, I’ll never know – amazing forethought, however. Sad, but true.
There are good, deep, ‘magical’ things to marriage, don’t get me wrong. Ups and downs to everything in life, matter of which ups and downs you chose.
Women. I got another friend of mine scared that because she passed some sacred number of 6 differnt guys in her life, now no one will like her. I would like to give all women the magic clue right now:
Men like all sorts of strange things!
What is my proof for this? Well, my favorite porn site: It has like fifty catagories includeing all sorts of srange stuff. Most relevent to this conversation are: Innocent and Virgin, as well as Kinky and Pornstar.
In short, I have no idea weather this guy will dump you for lack of experiance or if he would dump you for too much experiance.
You should ask, a friend of a friend of his what he likes- as nature intended. If you find he wants an experianced girl, well then inlist the help of that guy who is “just a friend,” lord knows he needs to get some.
Rawr, I like pr0nst4rs.
Bring on the pr0n!
Dunno, something about … you have to be really secure as a woman to have sex with that many men and still hold your head high. I think I sense this confidence and am attracted to it.
As for whether guys will dump you for experience or not…
Come on. Are you looking for percentages here? I doubt you’ll find a poll that says, “Hey, if your woman had sex with more men than you have with women, will you dump her slutty ass?”… 'cause that’s just not a “real” problem. It’s generally one that occurs really early in life…you know… when you’re TOO YOUNG too be thinking long-term anyway.
Geesh. I’m not trying to sound above anyone, or disregard the problem at hand, but …who the hell cares? Life has a way of sorting itself out, and EVERYBODY finds SOMEBODY unless you’re grotesque. If you’re hot enough to have sex with random guys in a bar nightly, you’re hot enough to find a guy to marry and settle down with. That’s …just…the…way…things…are. You’re going to find Mr. Right or at least manufacture him out of Mr. Wrong. So dont stress.
The problem with these 30-somethings that do not is that they are either A) shy B) picky or C) lazy and stubborn. Look at them…they’re very “my way or the highway” type of women, on the whole. And the guys are generally really…weird (which is worse than grotesque when you’re talking about men…women must be pretty (to some extent), men must be stable (to some extent)).
And even if you’re ugly, there’s plenty of blind people looking to get some strange.
Look, I just dont see the problem and now I’ve gone on a rant. Just do what your heart tells you but do it smart. Sometimes, my penis works its way into my heart, and I want to porn star music. Other times, I know it’s not right and I cannot. Either way, when the time is right, it’s right. When it’s wrong, it’s rape.
who cares if he doesn’t like you because you don’t have experience. Guys that want you only for sex purposes anyway are bastards. I especially hate those guys that tell you all sorts of sweet things, and drag you along…making you think that they honestly care about you…then as soon as you have sex or get intimate they either constantly want to be sexual…or they’re moving on trying to find their next innocent girl.
On the other hand, I get like that sometimes too…if I have sex with a guy that I thought I really liked…or mess around of any sort…usually I’ll lose interest.
Sex is very overrated. To be honest, I hate sex. It feels nice…but it wrecks everything in terms of relationships and whatnot.
I know I’m going to end up unmarried and unattached…it’s inevitable. I made that choice my senior year in highschool for 2 reasons: 1) I want to be a doctor, and I want to make sure that I’m a successful doctor—being a successful doctor, especially the kind I want to be (neurologist) means that I won’t have much time for a family. If I had a family, I’d want to spend all my time with them, and not want my kids to grow up in latchkey or something…2) and this year has further convinced me that I never want to give my all to a guy, or bare my soul to them…or any of that mushy crap. If you do that…they’ll stomp on you, and fuck your best friend. Yeah…that’s how it works.
so…I guess the point of this is …if a guy likes/doesn’t like you due to sex only…you don’t need the asshat, and you’ll indubitably find someone that will at least want to go out and play racketball or whatever the heck you like to do.
oh…and you’ll have to give it up sometime…If you have all these big ideas about what sex will be like…find the right guy adn wait, or else it’ll suck. My first time was a complete disaster. The guy is a complete loser. And i’ll never get that back.
Speaking of. Rafa, have you ever seen Stevie Wonder’s girlfriend?
Well, neither has he.
[laughing]
Hey, his music jams, don’t get me wrong.
…you are the sunshine of my life…
…that’s why I’ll always be around…
etc., etc.
i guess its not so much him not liking me, its more in my head, and i really want to make him happy, thats the only reason i decided i want to have sex with him in the first place, like he knows i am not so sure about it and said its ok, but i know he wants to, and i feel like i am conceded and not caring and that i am being selfish by not doing it
Blondie… I wish I could be there in front of you right now. That way you could hear what both me and everyone else here is basically saying. Do what ever makes you happy. If having sex with this guy is going to make you happy, then do it. If not, then don’t. Don’t do it for him. It might come to bite you in the ass later on.
OH, by the way. How does a blind person know when to stop wiping?
… I dunno, Smooth, how /does/ a blind person know when to stop wiping?
Sounds like you’ve progressed from this:
Why do you think you would be conceited, uncaring, and selfish, by not having sex with him? You are worth waiting until you are ready. Waiting until then is caring about your needs, which is a-okay. If someone is not willing to wait until you are ready – they’re the one that is being selfish and uncaring – not you. And it sounds like he is being patient… You know, I hope this fella is worth all this torture you’re putting yourself through… what do you like about him?
I’m sorry…but blondie if you think that you have to have sex to make him happy and keep him interested…you have a pretty warped selfesteem or something. I think you need to talk to either a close friend …so they can tell you how stupid you’re being in thinking that way…or do something. It’s not healthy to think the way you are.
You seem really nieve. No offense…but guys play on that. They’ll make you think they love you and care about you, then he’ll bang you. Then he’ll never talk to you again…and you’ll be left crying or whatever.
You have sex when YOU are ready…not when some guy is feeling horny and telling you how beautiful you are.