It has recently been requested of me that I post more on Ernst Werklempter. This is gratifying, but something I can only do a little at a time. Most of the Great Man’s works have not been translated, a task which I spend many an hour at. Not to complain, but this undertaking is complicated by the fact that I speak almost no German, and so must do all my work with a german-english dictionary at my side. But I persist. Here are a few gems that I have recently uncovered.
These are all from his edifying but opaque, “Why I Wrote this Book”.
W on Hume: “I’ve read Hume, and frankly, I’m skeptical.”
W on Plato: “How do we know a cat is a cat? What else could it be? Take my cat. Please.” (A little known fact is that Ernst’s cousin, Hauser Werklempter, is the originator of the rimshot, as he was the house drummer at a Berlin nightspot called Der Poopenschaft. Kind of a burlesque house, where many acts - among them comedic ones - were performed.)
W on Hegel: “Thesis - I had a bad hard-cooked egg last night. Antithesis - I had a good soft-cooked egg this morning. Synthesis - I vomited them both up a couple of minutes ago.”
W on time: “You think time doesn’t exist? You weren’t on my last three dates.”
W on existence: “Last month my gout acted up. So did my cholick, and I’m sure my spleen, liver and kidney were distended. All this while bedridden with extreme dysentery, painful warts on my head, face, hands and feet, and an agonising swelling of the armpits, due to a cause unknown. My task then was to figure out how not to be. You morons. Fortunately I was able to recover, due to my generally strong constitution. And sheer force of will.”
Hope this will satisfy for now. Perhaps W’s views will prove provocative enough to cause some discussion. As I seem to be one of the few here familiar with him, I will be glad to help in any way I can.