Point 1) Women are “cats”.
“Mwwweeeeoooooowww!!!”
Let’s not fool ourselves; women are cats. They are domesticated, yet independent. They are cute, yet clawed. They are horny, yet prude.
Why do cats make such good pets (for women)???
It’s not too hard to see – women desire to be like cats. Women actually envy their feline nature! Because this is the case, cats make the absolute best pet (in general) for women. Women and cats … just have a mutual understanding with one another! And this is why they have such good relationships. Women understand, completely, the nature of felines. Therefore, to women, cats make the best pets! (I already know there are exceptions to the rule, but like always, the exceptions themselves do not change the rule – they simply add to its objective validity.)
Here are some things to know about cats. #1 - They fuck around when nobody’s watching. Given the chance, cats open to sexual reproduction do so in a way similar to rabbits. They fuck & bred like demon-possessed little creatures! This is why they must be spayed & neutered (similar to why humans must also be spayed & neutered). However, “cat-fucking” (as I shall be calling it) happens “in the dark”, “behind your back”. This means that you often won’t actually witness cat-fucking, because they do it in the dark (with the lights turned out). The reason for this “deception” (if it’s seen this way) is that the actual appearance of innocence is vital to cats/kittens. If they are seen for what they are, rather vile, then they lose their “cute”, “cuddly”, “charm”. They’re actually little fucking whores!!!
However, like with all things, the goods balance out the bads, otherwise the creature in question dies-off. Let’s get back to some more things about cats though … #2 - They are cute. Let’s give them that; nothing can melt a heart like a young, fuzzy, warm, kitten. They’re so vibrant, innocent, and playful – exactly the way men desire their women to be! It’s no wonder why cats love women, wait, I mean why women love cats. 
#3 - They clean-up after themselves. How great is this? How wonderfully domesticated is this? What other pet is so perfect as to come in a clean-up package? Throw some sand in a box and a cat will instinctively shit in it! That’s wonderful! #4 - Cats don’t require much, well, except for attention!!! And this one is annoying – to guys! Guys don’t like giving attention; we just don’t (unless we’re physically desperate). The only men who like to give attention to cats (or females in general) are D-O-M-E-S-T-I-C-A-T-E-D. That’s right – if men had our own way, then we would use the female as an object and be done with her until next use (cough sex, with unintended consequences cough food, make me a 'sammich cough comfort, massage my gentials cough). Alright, alright, time to move on…
If women are cats, then what are men? 
Hmmm… 
Point 2) Men are “dogs”.
“Woof woof woof woof!!!”
Let’s not fool ourselves; men are dogs. They are free, yet leashed. They are ugly, yet loved. They are sexual, yet directed.
[b]Why do dogs make such good pets (for men)???[/b]
It’s not too hard to see – men desire to be [b]like[/b] dogs. Men actually envy their [b]canine[/b] nature! Because this is the case, dogs make the absolute best pet (in general) for men. Men and dogs … just have a mutual understanding with one another! And this is why they have such good relationships. Men understand, [b]completely[/b], the nature of canines. Therefore, to men, dogs make the best pets! (I already know there are exceptions to the rule, but like always, the exceptions themselves do not change the rule – they simply add to its objective validity.)
Here are some things to know about dogs. #1 - They fuck around when everybody’s watching. Given the chance, dogs open to sexual reproduction do so in a way similar to rabbits. They fuck & bred like demon-possessed large creatures! This is why they must be spayed & neutered (similar to why humans must also be spayed & neutered). However, “dog-fucking” (as I shall be calling it) happens “in the daylight”, “in front of your face”. This means that you often will actually [b]witness dog-fucking[/b], because they do it in the daylight (with the lights turned on). The reason for this “obviousness” (if it’s seen this way) is that the actual appearance of vulgarity is vital to dogs/puppies. If they are seen for what they are, rather base, then they lose their “strong”, “proud”, “charm”. [b]They’re actually large fucking monsters!!![/b]
However, like with all things, the goods balance out the bads, otherwise the creature in question dies-off. Let’s get back to some more things about dogs though … #2 - They are loyal. Let’s give them that; nothing can melt a heart like a patient, obedient, waiting, puppy. They’re so vibrant, innocent, and playful – [b]exactly the way women desire their men to be![/b] It’s no wonder why dogs love men, wait, I mean why men love dogs. #3 - They make a mess of themselves. How horrible is this? How wonderfully [b]undomesticated[/b] is this? What other pet is so perfect as to come in a mess-up package? Do your best to clean your rug and a dog will [b]instinctively[/b] shit on it! That’s wonderful! #4 - Dogs don’t require much, well, [b]except for respect!!![/b] And this one is annoying – [b]to girls![/b] Girls don’t like giving respect; they just don’t (unless they’re physically desperate). The only women who like to give respect to dogs (or men in general) are U-N-D-O-M-E-S-T-I-C-A-T-E-D. That’s right – if women had their own way, then they would use the male as a subject and be done with him until next use (cough seminal impregnation, with intended consequences cough food, bring me a turkey 'sammich cough comfort, massage my feet cough).
Conclusion: Women are “cats”. Men are “dogs”.
Is it truly difficult to see why this predominant analogy is so powerful? It may difficult to see for retards & imbeciles, but to the fine geniuses of ILP, it won’t be difficult to observe at all. Women are “cats”, because they are feminine. Men are “dogs”, because they are masculine. By domesticating both of these creatures, humanity has attempted to “humanize” the traits of cats & dogs. Cats are adored, because they represent the female human animal. Dogs are adored, because they represent the male human animal. Who reinforces these metaphors? Everybody and nobody do. Everybody does, because people create a false interpretation of theirselves. Nobody does, because the interpretation is actually false. Cats are cats. Dogs are dogs. Then again, everybody knew what I meant by posting this post (unless you’re stupid).
Satyr’s description of the human animal is an accurate one. It is the most truthful philosophy on this website and everybody speaking about other “philosophical” issues are merely derivatives of the separation of what it means to be “human”. And what does it mean, to be “human”? What does it mean to be a social, human, animal? Does anybody know? Or, shall we engage in some more mental-masterbation about so-and-so’s thoughts on rap music or how drug use affects institutional grade-point averages???
What does it mean to be a “woman”? What does it mean to be a “man”?
What does it mean to be a “cat”? What does it mean to be a “dog”?
