Chemical Illusions

I am an outcast. I was born in the wrong place at the wrong time. I am tired of being a slave to my genetic code. I want to be free of my emotions. I want to escape this reality. I want to escape my body. I am tired of living in a world that is full of chemical illusions.


What is the human game? The human game is a game that is similar to the things that all complex carbon based life forms do. Eat, defecate, and procreate. It is the eternal struggle for survival and competing with other members of their species for the right to pass on their genes. Approximately fifty percent of all of the things that human beings do involve engaging in activities to take care of their basic needs like food, water and shelter. The other fifty percent is all about procreation.

The mating game is what motivates women around the world to spend billions of dollars every year on things like cosmetics, jewelry, designer clothing, and plastic surgery. As a man I can tell you that the mating game motivates men to do most of the things that they do. Things like luxury cars, jewelry, and mansions would be irrelevant to most men if the mating game did not exist. The mating game also motivated men and women to go to college and university. Very few people would admit it but for most people earning a masters or Ph.D. had little or nothing to do with a person’s desire to seek out knowledge. University degrees are a status symbol that people use to try to empress other people. It is no different than birds that collect stones to attract a mate. I believe that anyone with a university degree can be put into two groups.

Group one probably represents about 10% of the people with university degrees. These are the gifted individuals. These are the people with an unusually high number of neurons and dendrites in specific parts of their brains. These are the people that usually end up working for companies like Microsoft or some kind of government agency because they are mathematical geniuses, or they might have photographic memories, or perhaps they are capable of speaking over ten languages fluently.

In group two you have the people that are not gifted. They may be very intelligent but there is nothing unusual about their cognitive abilities. They usually have to work hard for everything that they achieve in university. The majority of people in this group would not have gone to university if it was not for the mating game. During those long sleepless nights of studying to memorize all of the things that they have to know they are probably dreaming about five or ten years in the future when they will have the opportunity to tell an attractive women or man what they do for a living.

Unfortunately I will never fit into any of those two groups because I am not gifted and I am not motivated by the mating game. Well actually I am motivated by the game but not in the same way that most people are motivated by it. During the past couple of years I realized that I could not have a sexual relationship with a woman that I am attracted to without pretending to be someone that I am not. The mating game is more trouble than it is worth for me. Over a period of time I realized that what I really desire is to have more control over the chemical reactions in my body. When I have sex with a woman my favorite part of the experience is about 30 seconds to 1 minute after I have had an orgasm. That is when I have a moment of clarity. That is when the serotonin starts to flow through my brain and I am no longer under the influence of chemicals like phenethylamine, testosterone, dopamine, norepinephrine, and adrenaline. I am sick and tired of being completely controlled by the chemical reactions in my body. I don’t want to be controlled. I want to be in control.


I could write a book about the flaws in human language but I am only going to focus on two words.

EVIL- If you read my first post ( Ignorance Is The Root Of All Evil ) you should know that I believe that evil does not exist. It is just a chemical illusion. It is nothing more than a combination of things like stress hormones, a lack of serotonin in the prefrontal cortex, and activity in the amygdale. Does anyone find it odd that humans associate evil with things like the darkness and snakes? Perhaps it has something to so with the fact that we are diurnal creatures and we were hunted and bitten, and stung by nocturnal creatures in the past.

FREEDOM- Whenever I am watching television and I hear a politician like George W Bush say “we are fighting for freedom” I can’t help but think just how primitive we still are. Freedom does not exist. It is just another chemical illusion. No one on this planet is free. Anytime people want to use the word freedom they should use the word privileges instead. The more wealth and knowledge a person the more privileges they will have.


After September 11th the Bush administration, the U.S media, and U.S television networks have been doing everything possible to increase the fear and anxiety of the average American. If you watched Michael Moore’s last to films you should know what I am talking about. I have noticed that after September 11th there has been several secret agent C.I.A shows on U.S television. The British have even gotten in on the game with shows like MI5. There is one thing that all of these shows have in common with each other. The villains are usually always Muslims that can’t wait to blow themselves up and get to Allah. If you went back to 80’s or early 90’s the villains in American movies or television were usually ex K.G.B agents that had access to nuclear weapons. All of this just helps to give to give people an illusion of danger. However I will admit that we are living in dangerous times, but danger has always been a part of human culture. Human beings have been killing each other for thousands of years. As a technology evolved and we had to worry less about natural disasters and predators we got bored. So we had to find creative ways to make life miserable for each other. I would rather face the dangers of the present than face the dangers of the past. I would rather be killed by a bullet or a nuclear weapon than by a sword or a stick because there is a higher probability of me being killed instantly.


Imagine if some tropical countries around the world that make most of their gross national income from tourism suddenly decided to make television commercials that have an accurate portrayal of life in their country.

Come to our country and experience the hot weather and the beautiful women. We also have beautiful girls and boys for the pedophiles out there that can’t get what they want in their countries. Just make sure to wear protection because you would not want to get a sexually transmitted disease. Come to our country and enjoy the social activities. If you leave your resort you can get raped, robbed, or murdered. We also have surprises in our food and water. We have tapeworms and round worms. If you walk on our beaches with no shoes on you might get lucky and attract some hook worms or creeping nematodes. Some of these worms will make crawl under your skin and make you itchy. Some of them will crawl out of your anus or your nostrils. Some of them will crawl to your brain and kill you. All of this might sound like something out of a horror movie but believe it or not it can happen. So come to our country and have some fun.


Spirituality is a chemical illusion that most people can’t live without. It is the why billions of people around the world are following some kind of organized religion. Life is just to difficult for the majority of people in this world that they need the illusion of feeling like they are one with the universe or they are being protected by an omnipotent being.

Sometimes I find myself longing for the feeling of joy and wellbeing that religious people feel when they pray. It is probably why I use some of the same techniques that Buddhist use when they meditate. I also have a fantasy of contacting extraterrestrials. There is nothing that I would like more than to have some aliens take me away from the madness in this world. It may seem like an unrealistic fantasy but there is a much higher probability of me contacting extraterrestrials than me having a conversation in heaven with Jesus, Allah, or Jehovah.

Some neuroscientists are currently doing research on spirituality. They are trying to find out the chemical composition of spirituality and they trying to find out which parts of the brain are active when a person has a spiritual experience. I assume that the goal of most of these doctors is to play a role in creating a pill that people can take to mimic the effects that religious people feel. If a drug like this is ever created it will probably be the best selling pharmaceutical product of all time.


Many people believe that the human body is an extraordinary piece of biological machinery. I would have to disagree. I think we are nothing more than monkeys with large brains relative to the size of our bodies. If you compared the human body with many of the other life forms on this planet you should be able to realize that the only good thing about it is the capabilities of the prefrontal cortex and perhaps the dexterity of our fingers. If it wasn’t for those two things we would probably be extinct by now.

I believe two things have to be done if we want to avoid our evitable self extermination. We have to eliminate our genetic flaws by using eugenics and genetically modifying our DNA. The other thing that we have to do is merge computer science with medical science. Humans and machines have to become one. Chemical computing has to be combined with digital computing and eventually maybe even quantum computing. We can no longer allow all of our ration decisions to be made by a combination of chemical reactions in our brain. Doctors have to use any techniques that they can think of to increase the amount of neurons and dendrites in areas of the brain like the hippocampus, the orbitofrontal cortex, the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, the Broca’s area, and the Wernicke’s area. We have to use digital computing assist us in finding the optimal chemical balance for performing physical and mental activities. We have to use evolutionary algorithms in combination with our dorsolateral cortex to make decisions. I want all of my decisions that I make to be based on probability. I also believe that nano technology could be used to control neural activity in certain parts of the brain like the amygdale. Many people have amygdales that are over active. It is the reason why so many people have irrational phobias. If we had more control over the chemistry in our bodies we would be able to go through life making the most logical decisions to get the things that we need and desire. If we wanted to engage in sexual activity it would be as simple as turning on an internal switch. Chemicals like testosterone and dopamine would gradually begin to rise. This would be the only time that we would be vulnerable to making illogical decisions. It would be similar to the way some mammals behave during their mating season or when they are in heat.


Don’t take anything that you consider to be good for granted. Anytime that you are making love to your boy friend or girl friend, your husband or wife enjoy every moment and realize how lucky you are. Every time the endorphins are flowing through your blood stream and you are fooled into believing that the world is a beautiful place enjoy every moment and don’t take it for granted because misery, chaos, and destruction is the norm in the universe for carbon based life forms like us.

If you happen to e the perfect example of an alpha male or female don’t take it for granted. If you have your health. If you have universal beauty (symmetry and healthy skin). If you are intelligent. If you are wealthy. If you have self confidence. Don’t take it for granted because the majority of people on this planet don’t have what you have.


I wish that I could do something to change the world and make it a better place. Unfortunately my depression has impaired my cognitive abilities. I am a poor suicidal individual that just wants to escape his body and reality. I want to be connected to a realistic virtual reality or perhaps one day transfer my memories to some kind of computer chip or a genetically enhanced body. It may sound like science fiction to most people but I believe that it is possible. The possibility of escaping this reality or escaping my body is the only thing that is keeping me alive. At the moment the only thing that I can do is post letters on websites and hope that someone with similar desires to mine will read my letters and be in a position to change the world. My goal is to have an influence on people. Especially scientists and students that will become the scientists of the future. Scientists are the people that will decide how human beings will live in the future. The future will not be decided by kings, queens, religious leaders, and politicians. If you have the knowledge and the desire to change the world and make it a better place I would encourage to read my first post (Ignorance Is The Root Of All Evil) if you have not read it already. I would also encourage you to take a look at the websites that you see below. Some people have the genetic and cognitive potential to achieve great things. We can chose to become gods or we can continue to live like monkeys. The future is in your hands.

Your intentions might seem good to any reasonable person, but even on this forum which is only words, where you have no responsibility to actually tell about your own shortcomings, you cant seem to avoid degrading yourself and your own abilities while trying to convince us what is worth fighting for.

You try to set up why the things you hope for are just and good and worth effort, but make excuses as to why you are not motivated saying it is somehow out of your control.

How can any reasonable person who might have the self discipline, motivation, strong will, and clear vision that you seem to lack take you seriously if you use the same logic to justify a weak will as you do to deduce right from wrong?

You hope for things but arent inspired enough to drive yourself through the obstacles you feel need driving through???

I dont get it, and by the way ignorance is not the root of all evil…


Inspired self-discipline out-prioritizes self-doubt through and through.

The fact that you hope but arent inspired tells me that you may feel a little to entiteled to what you have and may be giving yourself too much credit for casting doubt on one thing and wishing for it’s opposite to take it’s place.

Im not that smart but that seems pretty obvious.

Mabey you are a little " too sane " which is keeping you from taking the risks needed to get things done.

If you really intended like you say you do then you would easilly see past the fear of being imposed upon by outside circumstances.

Try strategy.