Church in Cali

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1

This is a sign at one of the Community Chruches I attended when I stayed in Redlands California. I found the sign quite hilarious and disconcerting largely because no else seemed to read it the way I did…i.e. the glaringly obvious.

I just felt I should post this sign for its comic value: what it implies.

I absolutely LOVED California! The people, the place…plus I would love to see more of the U.S. - I love America despite all its warts and its hell! Tekl you what though, the eleven hour flight from Glasgow to stanstead to LAX then to Ontario, was so brutal, I do not know if I could do I again…but I will return asap!

2

Next marquee:

You think life is hell, wait until you come to church!

3

Actually the Church life in California is so much better than most of the U.K. or, at the very least, Scotland. It is more upbeat, community focused, light, filled with music, chat, arts and crafts.

In the U.K. the Churches are rather stale, lifeless old tooms, and the congregation are generally over 40, there was no youth, no real music, no spirit, just an aging priest drooning out passages from the Bible. Sooo incredibly dull, bleak and lifeless…I always said God would never go to a Church like that. No way…

4

I don’t know Colin,

But I’ll definitely ask her if she would the next time we talk. :stuck_out_tongue:

5

Did you take that snap, Colz, or did you find it ont’ web? If it’s yours, you could sell it to a magazine or something. For example, I’ve got a book of funny signs which would’ve been ideal for this one.

It is, of course, a very funny sign.

6

Maybe in Scotland. You could always deep fry yours…

7

That was rubbish, staid.

Are the Church ceremonies exceptionally dull down in England?

8

Your country invented the deep fried pizza. You haven’t a leg to stand on, regarding jokes or anything else.

Yes and no. There’s a small evangelist centre (not a church - one of those community buildings that has been taken over by the local religious group) near where I used to life that I used to go past and listen to, and they seemed to have all sorts of dramatic-sounding activities going on. The local churches in this bit of Yorkshire are great buildings, for the most part, though the services are a little grey and lifeless. Maybe we need more young, gay, black priests. Yeah, that must be it. Young, gay, black people can solve everything.

9

The deep tried joke was rubbish, irrespective of your credentials as a Joker, it was cheap. (Not as cheap as a fish supper)

‘Young, gay, black people can solve everything.’

At last: You have seen the light.

10

Cheap, yes. Rubbish? No. It was a play on how one can rebrand food as easily as cooking it in new ways, but the Church is somewhat more cumbersome.

I forgot to add - by throwing themselves off cliffs…

11

Eh…ok…perhaps this is an Enlgish ritual…do you eat bacon and cheese after it?

12

What is it with you and bacon and cheese? Bacon and cheese only really works if it’s smoked back with brie, all other combinations are essentially just a greasy mess (like deep fried pizza).

Precisely.

13

Not quite precisely…the Church has been fricasseed, deep fried, diluted, hung, drawn and quartered: but still they do not know how to Dance!!

What’s with me and bacon and cheese? - I could aks you the same question. Bacon and Grease are close brothers…can the grease can easily be run off…it all depends on how you cook it. Never tried it with brie, sounds tasty!

Do they make bacon and cheese and brie butties in English Churches?

14

Some churches do, but most British ones don’t. They know a lot about sexual tension though.

I always use the lean mean fat reducin’ grillin’ machine to cook such things. Works better than a standard grill.

It takes about 6 months off your life per sandwich, but it’s worth it.

No. The only place that I’ve ever had them is here:
manchesterad.com/html/bars/b … &barID=267