Close Encounters of the Nightmarish Kind?

It happened to me on a forum: a Close Encounter of the Nightmarish Kind i.e. an encounter with lads, and actually it has happened on this forum too. Well, there’s a surprise! Who designed these forums to suit whom? LADS. So, as usual, they throw stones as soon as they see you and when you retaliate, they throw the rule book at you, the first hint being the shout goes up: TROLL!!!

So, time to leech their poison:

I hate lads…………

I hate lads because they swagger along the street as if they own the place.
I hate lads because they sit with their legs at 6 o’clock leaving no room for anybody else.
I hate the way the lad sitting next to me took up so much space that he pushed me into the corner.
I hate lads because they are oblivious to anyone but themselves.
I hate lads because they think with their balls.
I hate lads because they needle, ridicule, mock and abuse anyone they think might be unable to retaliate.
I hate lads because they park their cars so close to mine that they block me in — swaggering off without so much as a backward glance.
I hate lads because they think they are god’s gift to society.
I hate lads because they think they own the world.
I hate lads because they rampage through the world, leaving a trail of carnage, death and destruction in their wake, and expect the rest of us to pick up what pieces we can.
I hate lads because they have no individuality.
I hate lads because they just support a team.
I hate lads because they have no social skills nor any interest in acquiring social skills.
I hate lads because they can’t run a household but are put in charge of the economy and the country and bugger everything up — and I’m paying for it.
I hate lads because I KNOW how to run a house, how to behave, how to get my way without causing a war, how to be strong without being aggressive, but if lads find a way of doing it wrong they do it wrong and yet they have control of the UK, control over me, and I’m paying for it.
I hate lads because they bugger up anything they touch.
I hate lads because they are crude and crass.
I hate lads because they get what they know about life from books, not experience with the result that they don’t know shit.
I hate lads because of the way their minds work: they don’t have a hope in hell of interpreting dreams, doing divination, using their intuition.
I hate lads because they like to tease and cause trouble and they like fighting. If you want to stop war, it’s simple: take lads out of the driving seat.
I hate lads because they love to play with big bucks and would rob their little sister’s piggy bank to give them bigger bucks to play with. If you want to end world poverty, it’s simple: just take lads out of the driving seat.
I hate lads because they are inhuman. They obey rules and no matter what they have to do to whom, rules come first.
I hate people who take lads at their own evaluation; their own confidence and posturing carries the day.
I hate lads because they have no grounds for their conceit. Lads are as empty as a used drinks can.
I hate lads because they think the sun shines out their collective arses.
I hate lads because everybody else treats lads as if the sun shines out their arses.
I hate lads because control of the world has been put in their grubby, nasty little hands — and I’m paying for it……… dearly.

In short: I hate lads because they are arseholes who bugger up my life.

An image of lads: The Chronicles of Riddick: the Necromongers — who worship one god: Death.

What the hell are you talking about?

I think that is what she is talking about.

…although I refuse hatred, I can’t entirely disagree… :confused:

Oh you virtuous prat! If you had any idea about anything ---- oh lord, why am I having to explain all this!!! — you would know that love or hatred, it doesn’t matter, it’s not something you can switch on and off. You cannot control your feelings. You can SUPRESS feelings, but that means they have just gone underground and they’re doing their damage in the subconscious, which means that you will suffer though you will not know why. It speaks volumes about our society that people think (I’ve heard it so often) that they can CHOOSE to love or hate, because it says that they do not know what love is and that in turn means that they have no love. hatred, however, they have in abundance, but they supress it and/or pretend not to have it.

You don’t have to refer to me as “lord”.
… in public.

 He doesen't want to drive it underground!

Oh lord, I like it!

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…[size=200]Lord, Fuck Lads[/size]

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Well this is a change.

Usually it’s woman-bashing going on here on ILP.

Yeah, a lad with boobs.

I hate to disappoint you, but read my previous comment to BW —

Lads come in all shapes,
lads come in all sizes,
lads sometimes look like apes,
but lads come in all disguises.

Lads can be of either sex
but one thing is surely clear:
lads will always be a hex
on everything that we hold dear.