“Oh shit,” I said under my breath as I stooped out the back of a Civic to face a drunken party of rowdy young cowboys slowly piling out of a small white house into the street. I began to ponder the necessity of the situation when I realized it was just another day in our little ol playground of a place we called home. It wasn’t like we hadn’t been in this kind of situation before. In fact I should’ve expected more from the petty pestilence we spread upon every waking moment that happened to dawn upon us.
“wwwtthoough!”
I watched as Colin took a face full of saliva and snot from the elected ambassador of the freshly inebriated “hic”men.
“Just you and me bitch…I swear nobody’ll jump in.”
“Fuck that…every god damn one of your hillbillies is gonna pounce on me as soon as they see the blood dripping down your neck when I rip your jaw off.” Colin usually wouldn’t back down from a good brawl but this time we had the numbers layed out for us pretty clean like and it just didn’t add up.
The second hand of a wrist watch ticked ever so slowly in the background while Colin and this sorry excuse for a single opponent solemly stared eachother down in a dead-lock of reciprocating thoughts of brutality. Right about the time the ass beating of our lifetime was about to unfold a sly little non-male mediator managed to trickle her way into the failing arguments. We got off easy this time…fuckin eh…so where was the next victim?
Ya see to us, rolling around around in a civic looking for something to get out of was sort of like what warming up the ovens was to a baker at 4 in the morning. We were just waiting to bake a loaf for someone. We couldn’t wait to watch somebody wipe the shit stains off their face in self-pity after kissing our asses for hours upon end trying to somehow hold up what little self-respect they had existing amidst the towering stack of insecurities we shed off on them so non-chalantly. It wasn’t that we were the biggest guys in the world, or even the toughest or strongest. It was the mere fact that we truly believed death was just another doorway to the hell we already lived in. Nothing could stop us…and if did…we really didn’t give a fuck anyway. We were just out to conquer what was in front of us.
?
Philosophy detectors reading zero Captain… 
LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 
And I second that
Seriously this line right here has made me laugh harder then I have in the past week 
I’m still laughing