Commander Poetry

[size=75]Commander Poetry marches around the squad hall,
lecturing all the amateur soldiers on the discipline
of form and convention: the Sonnet, The Ode, Triolet,
Villanelle, War Epic, Paradelle and many more.

Commander Poetry slanders the troops into submission,
determined to educate them, bring them to their senses,
train with the utmost vigor of skill and tool required,
but they are despondent, lethargic, sloppy,
they don’t want to hear a word of it,
they simply want to pick up their pens pencils
and create large spontaneous scribbles
write dodgy whim, a few poles short of some scaffolding…

The Commander is Furious! He cannot endure these Illiterate Soldiers!
He wants to march them up mountains and have them perfecting
the methodological craftsmanship of the Poetic Science Form!
He wants them shooting words with precise aim and intent,
not just target practice but intelligible clean shots, of highest order!

The Commander dismisses the troop and begins
to recite loudly, a truly humiliating couplet
against the folly of ‘DIY! free verse foolery!’

The Poets leave quickly,
light cigarettes nervously,
talk amongst themselves:

‘What a Serious, Fascist Bastard!’
Said one of the sloppy female poets.
‘Indeed!’ They all agreed.

‘Haha…! If he wanted the fucking ‘Brothers Karamazov’,
he could have just gone to the bloody Library!’

Uttered one of the Manly poets.

They all walk home, agree to continue writing anyway,
(most of them probably couldn’t stop even if they wanted to)
they return to their pens and pencils, table and chairs,
typewriters and quill pens and continue to write
their useless poor human prose…

many beautiful things occur
sun rise milk and glancing
much horror much terror
world blood and bombshells
much private hell
anxious terrified and singular
much stupidity passes
dropping farts and nose picking
much absentmindedness
forgetting dribbles and hick-ups
and inevitably everyone soon dies
…including the Commander!
but some of the poems

God, Rainey, I knew the poem was bad but not quite as bad as ‘Dead Poet’s Society’ - that film really makes me cringe!

I can only sincerely apologize for reminding you of that horrific film. :blush:

Sorry Colin, I didn’t mean to offend. I was making a comparison between the idea that that particular scene of the movie was showing (not the movie itself) and your poem. I happen to like the film (for among other reasons that particular scene), although I am aware that’s not a very popular position to take, especially among “poets.”

I liked your poem and I liked its theme, if I’m understanding it properly. No doubt there was a better way to let you know that, or perhaps I should have just kept my thoughts to myself.

No, no…I apologise, fair comment, thanks for reading…and that particular class room scene is actually quite good.

idk if it’s because i’m drunk right now, because i’m inspired to sit down and try to “right” a poem right now, but what the hell, colin? this is one damn fine piece for any poet, wannabe poet, aspiring poet, incarcerated poet, hack poet, crazy poet, “maybe i too will write a poem one day” poet, to read. Well, might as well say it now, it caters to a small audience - to poets - and, it does so magnificently well. So, wannabe that I am, I thank, perhaps, salute, even, you, Sir, yes… good piece. hope i still like it when i’m sober! :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile: ahh… now what the hell am i going to go write about? I see… : aluminium eyes. wonder if that’s enough… we’ll see!

Oh, due to a small typo, i’ve discovered, one can mispell poet as pet. pet! haha!~ typos are divine.

okay. i’ll stop. time to write!

No problem at all Colin. And I really do like your poem. :slight_smile:

But - hey - wait a minute. I just have to ask purely out of curiosity. That particular scene is what that movie is about. It’s a microcosm of, or maybe a metaphor for, the whole movie. If one was to ask what the film is about, I would play that scene and say, ‘It’s about that.’ How can one like that scene, the defining scene of the movie, and hate the movie?

They can because a short film with that scene and a synopsis could have sufficed but they stretched it out to make more money and, frankly, bore us to death…