Communication

Creative Forums Creative Writing
1

Strange lights
exchange intensities across
a divide
appearing closer as the dark departs

a divide
a divide

Strange lights
exchange intensities across
the length of a buried mirror awaiting the disruption of

strange lights
Strange lights

exchange intensities
through immutable constancy.

2

good job

  • OKComp
3

Alexis,

I’d consider putting another line between the two ‘a divide’ lines. Up to you of course, but it’d emphasise your ‘point’ more, I feel.

4

this could work out, if you wanted to introduce the paradox of dividing the two lines labelled “a divide”.

alexistentialism, i find that many of your works are best read aloud or sung

therefore repetition is key

-OKComp

5

I like it. Minus the period at the end, I like it. Don’t know what it’s really about, but I still like it. Yes, I like it – I like how poems can trigger associations in the mind sending it, well mine, off on unexpected tangents.

6

[Once again refer to the interior quoted text for what I feeel is the strongest line in this poem.]

Alex…, I don’t think I’ve read a bad or less than better than avg poem of your authorship yet and this offering follows that pattern. It mostly makes sense to me and I think I have an idea of what’s being said, but there’s also a nice dose of cerebral nebulousness that leaves room for compelling mystery for the reader to come back to and for the reader to draw their own meanings from it as well. I love the affect that I get from the different versions of the repeated lines. I may not exactly know what the poem means, but sometimes poetry doesn’t have to convey meaning but can simply express the joy of playing around with words and the language from which they are sourced. I don’t, however, believe this poem is merely an exercise in wordplay absent overt meaning. I think you’re commenting on the paradoxically hyper-connected and yet impersonal nature of communication in the cyber-realm, but that may be me projecting my own meaning based on how interpret the wording of the piece.

–that’s enough verbiage from me – congrats on yet another superb poem,
lhw

7

lenghtheightwidth:

i tried to describe communication. i’m working on my titles because i know people have a heard time getting me. but, i think you definitely got it.

OKComputer:
[/quote]
alexistentialism, i find that many of your works are best read aloud or sung