I was crapped out into the world
Like a dog without a bone
an actor out on loan
A turd without a home
So I went to Popeye’s
and got some fried chicken with BBQ sauce
I saw some fat black guy there
And he gave me a big egg
I swallowed it whole and a month later
I gave birth to a large bottle of Gatorade
I planted it in the ground and in 53 minutes
A sweaty Chinese guy popped out like in
the movie Mortal Combat
Your mother is a whore
I just found your Christmas stocking
It has a box of Raisin Bran Cereal in it
When you eat the cereal
It will make your nipples hard
And then you can crap out Santa Claus cookies
I just found a space station in Uranus
But when I farted it created a cosmic boom
To shatter the sound barrier
And the space station was playing the song
“Fuck Tha Police” by NWA
So the whole station got destroyed
And then the whole universe smelled
Like a horse stall
Like when you go into a public toilet
And somebody left a dirty tampon on the floor
So you realize you’re in the women’s bathroom
Which doesn’t smell except for the tampon
Only the men’s BR smells like a horse stall
But then you realize the building is being
Held hostage by terrorists
So you are forced to climb up into the ceiling ducts
And crawl until you are crapped out into
A sewage drain ditch
Like you were crapped out into the world.
