So, I’m new to this whole creative writing thing, but I’m taking a class in school. So far it’s fun, but I just wanted some feedback on my poems. I will probably get around to posting all of them, but for now heres my latest one. It’s a sestina, which is a hard form to follow. It has six, six line stanzas and one three line stanza at the end. The end words of each line are all the same, and for each stanza they have to be in a certain order. Just looking for feedback. Constructive criticism is fine just don’t keep saying it sucks.
My mind is in hell
with the racist black
and rapist white
the red fox
who always speaks
with the voice of trees
Everyday my trees
beg for an escape from hell
but it is I who never speaks
with a face of black
and my thoughts like a fox
expressions like paper, white
and when the sky was white
I saw all the trees
and hidden in it a fox
the one like hell
he with eyes jet black
so much so it seems the fox speaks
but the hidden fox never speaks
for the sky is no longer white
my heart, black
has tainted the sky and the trees
it seems as if we are all in hell
the only one at home is the fox
Yesterday death befell the fox
and for once I spoke
cried out to the depths of hell
until my face turned white
and I became breathless like the trees
then the ground opened to an abyss of black
I peered over into the black
into it fell the fox
still falling I watched the trees
they were sobbing and one was speaking
praising the sky newly white
we escaped this hell
As hell disappears into the black
and the white engulfs the fox
it is I who speaks not the trees