Try again here. I am not sure writing a different reply and referring to another forum and other characters in those other forums is allowed under ILP guidelines, but was embarrassed to ask Carleas, since I hate to be a nuisance.
But in Maia’s correspondence it became apparent, that nostalgic feelings and states of mind, were relative to the extent some lives were lived within the families they were surrounded with.
I am casting a very wide net to search for what ‘Magic’ meant within my own experience, and relax a bit about what it means to me.
So in stead of breaking in at this stage into the Marian correspondence with you, I’ll try a biographical honest representation, braving any comparison that such divergent experiences can generate.
I was born in Europe, the upper tip of charm and privilege sustained after catastrophic losses of family and friends social curcled.
I too developed what you describe as a feeling of constant movement, that broke off all familiarity, so my journey consisted with the exact opposite than your England to Europe shift, , which may be a misnomer, since I see you, perhaps mistakenly as an American soldier stationed in Germany . I moved from the naustalgic harbor, of the remains of an Austrian Hungarian Empire, consisting of the leading Arusticratic European family the Hapsburg, who to some even surpassed the German Hohenzollern in every respect, Haydn being a Chaoelmeister to the family.
Will cut short other descriptions, and will go to the cut, the cut, which severed any relation to the manner of which life could be lived in the states,
So this difference is meant to underscore my sympathy with writers like Henry Miller, who considered the USA as some place that is representative of his ‘The Aur Conditiined Nightmare, and Kerouac’s beat views of how happiness may be alluded to and experienced thriugh deep narcosis, and extreme left wing politics.
How I became an existentialist, Bob, was through experiencing every iota of glimpse into the phenomena available at that time, and focus on it, and consider that ‘normal’ in the embrace of that venu. I felt very oddly around that time, still do , when compared to others, as I did not marry into the convention , but out of it, and could never settle into ‘conventional behavior.
So that much about me, and the nostalgia, a point of constant return and a sympathetic alliance with artists of the sort who could never become conventional, or imrthodically unconventional either.
So, having started our convergion on The Magic Mountain, I must, with kind regards to your approval, continue , by virtue of how I was programmed never, ever to give up, unless shut out, and even then must continue in a n other firm and venue.
As a soldier, I must face whatever may come this way, and shall continue, hoping no insurance on my part will be defected.
I don’t know if you are as old as I am, with some it’s a destruction, but I am young in spirit, while not sure what’s left for me.
You being in geriatrics, could perhaps give some slack, for I’d love to correspond any which way, like on the front lines, not literally, but then yes literally on the front lines of many aspects surrounding this magic circle that’s closing the parallels of my intriguing discovery of a shared piece ok literature,
There is another man advanced in age ariund here, Irralleus, who has not posted for a long time, and many others who check in now and then, maybe you have known or corresponded with them.
At any rate your publishing history is praise worthy, mine almost nil, I have to buy them on line to remind me they are still in circulation.
So consider me just another patient in the aforementioned group , that can come alive now and then, as situations for them arise to make their presence known;
Failing that, the contention to find the meaningful experience of magic to written in the mode of the absurd