Am I missing some sort of deep level that complicates the question? Some friendships end, some don’t. It is possible to live a life in which all friendships end. It is possible to have a friend for all your life. There are countless humans who could prove by example that some friendships end. There are countless humans who could prove by example that some friendships last a lifetime.
There are basically 3 basis for friendship: 1)Pleasure, 2)Usefulness and 3)Virtue. Young people often form friendships based upon pleasure, such as in sexual partners, for example. Older people often form friendships based upon usefulness, as in business associates, for example. But what gives us pleasure today may not please us tomorrow. And our needs may change, such that what is useful to us changes. So both pleasure and usefulness are not the basis for life-long friendships. It is the third basis, Virtue, that is forms the basis for life-long friendships. When two people get to know one another intimately and know the state of one another’s character, and when they see common virtues or common vices in one another, then that is when life-long, lasting friendships form. Why? Because states of character tend to repeat those actions by which they were formed. So that men can be relied upon to act in a manner that is consistent with their states of character, whether of virtue or of vice. And birds of a feather flock together.
It’s a shame you are not that active on ILP.
I was going to disagree with this, but then I contemplated what you actually said and noticed it carries a lot of empirical truth.
I saw this play out in my past, my relationship with my ex of nine years was formed on pleasure and only lasted as long as it did because of usefulness… eventually ending because there was no deeper connection (i.e. what you call virtue), we actually disliked each other as people/personalities. Recently, I called a friend of mine who I knew for half that time and who I have only seen or spoken to a handful of times over the past 15 years… our bond was formed on common virtues and I realized that he is one of the few people that I just connect with, our conversation was as if we were still close friends who spoke everyday. On the flip side, my relationship with my siblings is one formed via common vices and once I tried to break away from those vices (i.e. attempting to address our shared dysfunctional upbringing), it strained our relationship to the breaking point. I see this same thing play out over and over again, the majority of people that I form strong bonds with are based on common outlooks on the world and those I form superficial bonds with are based on usefulness and/or pleasure… it’s very noticable as a coach and mentor… I see the types of kids that keep in-touch with me afterwards, it’s without fail those who share a similar outlook on the world. The others move on without a word, once our usefulness to each other ends.
It’s depends on if we treat them as slaves to our own hedonistic desires or if we free them.