I did it when I was a small kid.
“Because I can,” is a simplistic analysis of why. I suspect I was playing God to a degree. The power, and the novelty, the drama of actually killing something without anyone ever knowing. It may have even been an extremely toned down situation similar to why serial killers do what they do, except not having spun out of control in a pathology – it was relegated to tiny, tiny bugs. Ants, essentially. Killing anything beyond a bug was reprehensible. I couldn’t have killed a frog, for instance. Another category for some arbitrary reasons that I won’t go into, but I think most readers identify, certainly the original poster.
Now as an adult, and one who likes to spend a lot of time mulling over issues of ethics and beauty, I don’t kill bugs – at least not for fun. If I found an ant in my house I would put it outside and wish it well.
The thought experiment that did it: imagine a being many times smarter and more powerful than us, deciding it was ok, or even fun, to kill us for no reason, simply because our sense of life and intellect is profoundly “small.”
Imagine how we would judge such a being.
I would judge it as ignorant, lacking imagination, narcissistic, ugly-souled and profoundly dangerous. If quick rehabilitation was impossible, I would want this being dead, because active killers of innocents must be stopped. I doubt ants think like this, but it doesn’t matter.
With this in mind, I stopped squashing ants for fun. (Maybe around the time I started liking girls?)
I’m not a believer in God, but then again, if the concept of a being of infinite intelligence and power had the mind to spare and even love us (a popular concept), then why would the concept of me loving and sparing a tiny bug have any less gravity?
That kind of God being a fiction (IMHO), only one of the above cases of astonishing beauty has the potential of occurring, and you and I have power to make it so. Mindfully sparing a bug makes the universe a slightly less hostile place. Not many would notice. But at least two would. The bug and me.
It all comes down to one question: If you had the power to make the Universe a less hostile, more mindful and sensitive place, even on a tiny scale, would you?
And consider, the smaller the creature, perhaps the MORE imagination, the MORE compassion one would need to have the sensitivity to find beauty in sparing it.
Perhaps sparing an ant is a test of humanity; a tiny vote for a gentler universe.
Whether it’s moral is another story.
So much of what we do boils down to aesthetics. Through the prism of mature analysis, killing bugs is ugly, like the ersatz beef flavor on a Big Mac – it’s something sensibilities outgrow. I prefer aged, high quality filet mignon. (I fear I’ve opened a can of works with that metaphor – the issue of killing animals for luxury-food.)
Good luck with your own decisions. Fuck morals. Spare the bug because it feels good to do so. If it feels good to do so, you would be a welcome guest at my table. If not, than not.