And if so what is the objective definition of a narcissist and finally even though if we can define objectively what a narcissist is and how they act why can’t we stop people who are narcissists from being narcissists ?
There’s a narcissism as a trait and narcissism as a disorder, as a trait I think (but I am not sure) and it is basically overinflated sense of ego, excessive focus on self, feeling of self-entitlement- basically similar to egotism,
on other hand there is a Narcissistic personality disorder- which is a mental disorder and people with NPD and typically have lack of empathy and have constant need for admiration- one way that they can be recognised is that they tend to exaggerate everything about them- they are always smartest or most ethical and always better than everyone and whatever you done they have done it better or faster or… whatever you suffered- they suffered more etc. They trnd to be so self centred that often everything is about them, whatever story you start or whatever question you ask will somehow end up being about them. they need admiration and constant approval and they can’t handle criticism or being wrong, and they tend to be very manipulative- also what i noticed that they admire people with higher status and authority and tend to follow and obey them, but tend to be tyrants towards people who are under their authority.
Yes it exists.
And its defined by the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder
how severe they are can vary. People with the disorder can:
- Have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration.
- Feel that they deserve privileges and special treatment.
- Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements.
- Make achievements and talents seem bigger than they are.
- Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate.
- Believe they are superior to others and can only spend time with or be understood by equally special people.
- Be critical of and look down on people they feel are not important.
- Expect special favors and expect other people to do what they want without questioning them.
- Take advantage of others to get what they want.
- Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others.
- Be envious of others and believe others envy them.
- Behave in an arrogant way, brag a lot and come across as conceited.
- Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office.
At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they view as criticism. They can:
- Become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special recognition or treatment.
- Have major problems interacting with others and easily feel slighted.
- React with rage or contempt and try to belittle other people to make themselves appear superior.
- Have difficulty managing their emotions and behavior.
- Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change.
- Withdraw from or avoid situations in which they might fail.
- Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection.
- Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation and fear of being exposed as a failure.
No point in having all those explanations and descriptions if narciccism cannot be cured.
Since you have so much experience with narcissists why can’t you stop every single narcissist ?
I don’t quite understand the question? Why should I stop them?
There are appropriate authorities (at work, law enforcement etc) that should deal with them if the need arise, and even if I had some powers to stop them number of issues arise: at least some of them are useful to society and if let’s say I decide to stop them then question is: where do I draw the line?
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So narcissists aren’t completely evil ?
It’s a wide spectrum and some are probably “evil” but some can be just “difficult”- for example I have one person at work and I would say he is somewhat annoying and most of people dislike him, but he is not a bad person- he doesn’t have an empathy at all but he is using his logic well and through logic he knows how to relate to other people in sufficient manner to be tolerable, and interesting thing: he is good in dealing with depressed people and all his friends are very depressed people as he doesn’t get stressed with their issues as he basically doesn’t feel much, while for example most of people would get completely drained listening for hours and trying to talk someone out of committing suicide.
Another woman I know with NPD is also not bad person but although I know that she is not bad person and I understand her in same time I feel very strong negative emotions about her almost hatred, but lot of people that don’t know her well have positive opinion of her and sympathy for her as she is good at manipulating others- although she is not aware of the fact that she is manipulating others- which may sound contradictory- but it is a structure of personality rather than purposefully trying to manipulate.
It’s hard to quit smoking. Smoking can be an emotional and physical habit. Narcissism is a set of habits that protect one type of narcissist from feeling utterly and completely worthless in a way we can hardly imagine, full on ego death, and not necessarily over big things. Narcissism also keeps them from noticing their own problems. They have no motivation, therefore, to change. They think the accusations or feedback about what they’ve done and are like is simply wrong. They will even elminate memories of what they’ve done and of course interpret their own actions and attitudes in a positive or at worst neutral light. It’s like getting them to treat a rash they can’t see and that doesn’t itch or cause them pain (that they can connect to a rash).
The other narcissists, the grandiose ones, like the traits we don’t like. In fact they are often rewarded for their over confidence, sense of entitltement, cutting in front of others and so on. They see others as weaker, as driven by guilt not affection or empathy, as lesser beings. So they have no motivation to undermine these things that they like about themselves. Welcome to, for example, the world of CEOs and politicians. Why the hell would they put elbow pads on their arms, when they want to knock people out of the way?
Yes they exist. Not sure how you can even ask that question - especially in this day and age.
The following should be enough for you to get a basic understanding:
That said, you should keep in mind that its a spectrum disorder. As such, not everyone with the disorder will exhibit all the traits.
One of the major impediments to stopping narcissism is that a high percentage of the population not only value narcissists, but highly value them. For a well known example, think Donald Trump.
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Of course. That is of course true.