I mention symetry because extensive research finds that’s the single greatest trait that is universally found to be attractive to males & females. Some will find large muscles aethetically pleasing, but I don’t think that’s at all universal, whereas symetrical people are attractive to all.
Strippers are definately an interesting lot. Most have not only issues but whole subscriptions. My best friend was a DJ at strip bars for many years, so I’ve known many strippers. Never knew there were so many bi-sexual Wiccans in the world.
If one takes a parental view of life, which most will one day, then you’ll see that viewing others as sex objects tends to go down. Also, if one has been lucky enough to fulfill the sexual desires then the impulse dies down.
It seems to me that saying people are 90% whatever is a tough claim to make. If that whatever factor is something that I’m not feeling and isn’t something that 90% of the people that I know feel, then I question the speaker’s grasp of reality. That’s because it’s not my reality, and I don’t feel especially skewed.
By the way, your attempts to insult and undermine my opinion speak to childishness and a skewed conception of reality
Here’s why I think otherwise- experience. I think most people are full of it.
I know MANY bodybuilders who are gay and make money with STRAIGHT, MARRIED guys (supposedly straight). I know a current popular bodybuilder who makes ALOT of money having sex with married men.
I know many female strippers who make money with sex. They have sex with THOUSANDS of married guys. I’ll bet that if I got together all of the people I know who make money from sex I could come up with about 50,000 cheating males in my area alone that have sex for money.
I once had a married Dr. ask me if he could give me oral during a physical, no joke. I have other stories that are worse.
Let alone married women, they are worse. A few years back I had this discussion with someone about this. At that time I had had sex with over 20 MARRIED women that I could think of, way more women who had boyfriends, etc. It’s a higher number than that now.
People are sexual liars…and no, I ain’t one of them. I’m being honest.
I know from experience, not a skewed reality. It just came with the territory of the lifestyle.
And I disagree with the impluse dying down once the desire is met. I met my desires and the impulse went way up. Ask anyone who makes money with their body (Modeling, physiques, etc) if the desire went down. No way in hell.
That just seems so bizarre to me, MP. I don’t doubt it, I just have no reason or need to cheat or lie. Probably because as an atheist my morality isn’t based soley on archaic, repressed religious notions. If I was gay I wouldn’t have any reason to deny it (although given societies homophobia, it would perhaps be prudent in some professions- but who would fire a chef for being gay?).
Nor can I understand a professional like a doc lacking the control you’d expect a drunk teenager after a six pack of beer. It’s incredible that a physician would ask to suck your cock during an exam, no matter how handsome and noble your tool. That’s just amazing to me.
The skewed reality bit is most likely. That’s why you give off signals.
Also, MP how can you comment on life stages that you haven’t experienced? Most of the bright driven men and women that I’ve known are that interested in sex as they age. It’s really dull lusting after people.
One interesting thing comes to mind- men almost invariably have at least some body hair. When we see a vast expanse of oiled, shaved & waxed flesh, no matter how muscular the body may be the overall impression is one of innate feminity. Odd that I never put 2+2 together, but my brain initially has trouble processing images of slick, incongrous skin combined with some male traits. My brain has to ‘reboot’ to realize I’m looking at a guy.
I think evolution has programmed us to respond to a smooth hairless body with some level of attention/arousal. Further consider how the overdeveloped pecs really do look like female breasts, especially when not being “flexed.” And let’s not discuss androgenous asses.
100% of the population thought the world was flat just a few hundred year ago. That was their opinion – not reality.
My point? Don’t use the “reality” word or the ‘truth’ word unless you want it challenged. It’s only your opinion so don’t try to dress it up as something it’s not.
PS You still didnn’t answer whether you were TheAdlerian or not? I’ll take any side stepping as a ‘yes’.
Sorry, I was writing the above at about 3AM, because I couldn’t sleep, and was getting caught up in my lack of understanding. It seems that I’m little better at 11AM
You’ve hit the nail on the head- it seems bizarre because life is bizarre.
You yourself would cheat or lie if in the ideal situation. There is someone out there that could make you cheat on a spouse. You may fight the urge but I’m saying the urge, or sexual thought is there. If you stiffled the feelings and didn’t act, good for you. If that person was in your life constantly…sorry, you’re cheating.
Back to the life is bizarre thing. I know a stripper who slept with the mayor of a town we both grew up in. The mayor came in dressed up as Captain Kirk, no kidding. A mayor screwing as Captain Kirk. Bizarre? It’s everywhere.
That same Mayor got busted asking a kid for a blow-job at a department store and ended up stepping down. Bizarre? Yep. It’s everywhere.
So the three neighbor’s I’ve slept with is skewed reality? One of them runs a church group…bizarre, isn’t it? Should I go on?
A ‘skewed reality’ is pretty fun.
And the only reason it becomes ‘dull’ lusting after people is when that person cannot get what he lusts after. If you get it; it isn’t dull at all.
And that doesn’t matter, most of the ‘lusters’ are older.
Do you really think that if you sat in a group of models, fitness competitors, bodybuilders, strippers, prostitutes and actors that you wouldn’t be blown away by what happens everyday?
Just like a man who wins the lottery. He says 'Man, I win and all of these people come out of the woodwork"
Now imagine travelling the world so people can look at your body.
You’d say "Man, I win and all of these people come out of the woodwork’
Now imagine being a stripper. You’d say “Man, I take my clothes off and all of these people come out of the woodwork”
Now imagine being a model. You’d say “I look good and all of these people come out of the woodwork”
I agree with most of what you’ve said, but not this. That’s apologism, not fact. No one forces you to cheat, and indeed that would be rape. I have been married (although I no longer am) and of course have been in many many relationships. The one and only thing I’ve consistently found that I can control in this world is my own behavior.
In my experience those who cheat and say it “just happended” or “it wasn’t my fault” either have psychological problems or are simply lying to themselves.
Now I’m no saint, and I should clarify that I mean lie in a specific situation. I see nothing wrong with lying in social situations, eg a woman asks if these pants make her look fat, here’s a my baby, isn’t she the adorable, etc etc. To me newborns uniformly look like space aliens, and if you think your ass looks fat it probably is, but there’s no good reason to insinuate myself into that mess.
I think, when having your ideal, you would cheat 90% of the time. By ideal I mean what you lust for and the ideal situation to allow for it. Now have that situation in your life many times…you’re a strong man to avoid it.
And if you do avoid it, you are smothering your nature.
But my main point (in the beginning) was that we all have that sexual feelings at first and smother it. It is human nature.
You may not be attracted to a male muscular physique, say, but there is a type of male that you find attractive. That first impression is sexual.
Does that make you gay? Well, if you act on that feeling. The feeling is there and that’s why no one coming out gay would surprise me…even George Bush…how’s that for a visual…
