Last night was a tough night.
About 10:30 I took a pain pill (norco) and a
muscle relaxation pill, (flexeril) Neck hurt,
anyway, by about 11:30 or 12. I could feel my legs and
arms, feeling, weird, heavy. Around 12:15, I got very
anxious, feeling like something terrible is going to
happen, I then became absolutely convince that
the condo’s across the way would blow up. I was
waiting for the explosion to blow out my windows.
I got a grip and realized it was my drugs interacting
weirdly, so intellectually, I knew it was a drug reaction,
but emotionally, I couldn’t control the process. My mind
was going about 120 miles an hour with unfocused energy.
I was more wired at 12:30 then I was a 4 that afternoon.
Now I almost always go to bed with my Ipod, which is
full of my sleeping music, muzak jazz and Muzak rock,
easy to listening stuff. So I tried to focus on my music,
but my emotions were getting carried away. I then became
convinced there were burglars in the house. Now again,
intellectually, I knew there were no burglars, but emotionally
I was using all my will power not to dial 911. then a light
from outside convince me, UFO’S were right outside my
window. My wife kinda jumped and I was sure she
had just had a heart attack. Yet, I knew differently.
After several hours, of this emotionally reactions, I finally
was able to get to sleep around 3 all the while listening
to my muzak jazz, trying to focus on that.
Having a two track system like that,
one track was the intellectual, knowing this was not real,
the second emotional, convinced it was real, as real
as anything I have ever done. I have never
had that before.
Now if I hadn’t realized it was a strange drug reaction, I would
have called 911, or I would had gone and freaked out.
this has never happened to me before.
I wonder how many times it happens to people,
but for whatever reason, they don’t realize it the drugs,
or they can’t control it like I did. I wonder how many
people have been hurt, I could have easily hurt my wife
freaking out, or been shot by the police because they
couldn’t control it in front of those trigger happy nuts.
This morning I am just tired, but that was a strange night.
Kropotkin