Hi Tentative - everyone.
Easy - Sex and laziness. (I’ll see if I can get God in their somewhere too)
*All children start out fairly undifferentiated, a big bawling bundle of needs.
*They grow - but remain fairly simular psychologically - they haven’t aquired enough experience to make reliable value judgements. At best they vaguely echo the identities/exclusive traits of their parents.
*First split, around the age of 5-6-7 perhaps…? Boy/girl - mainly because of different games, or if you, like skill learning groups.
(Note - If there are ample resources it makes sense survival-wise to be fairly homogenous before puberty - there’s no point sticking your neck out above the herd before doing so will reap you any reward.)
*Puberty. Here begins the ego’s transformation to exclusivity. Go up to a teenager - ask him/her what they want to do/be - “Dunno”… They don’t know what they want to be, but they do know what they don’t want to be. ie: what they regard as excluded from themselves. Why…? Because they are in a difficult process - to attract the opposite sex, they must differentiate themselves from the herd. However this conflicts with the neotenous need to be included in a group. They still don’t have enough experience to make confident value judgements, so need the moral support of others who look and think like them. Hence the music - hence the clothes - hence the haircut. Teenagers still don’t have a completely mature exclusive ego - they echo the traits of others - the superteenagers known as Popstars… They begin to approach exclusivity, not by pushing things away, but in absorbing disparate ideas/group identities and combining them in a unique way. Using selective inclusivity to produce a whole that is exclusive in nature - The teenager wants the best of both worlds - to be able to say “I may resemble them, but I am more/different/better”
(Note: - Religion, this is where you first pick it up for real, or put it down, if its relevant in your social circle.)
Anyway - here things get grey… A number of things that effect inclusiveness/exclusiveness in maturity:
To become absorbed into a new social medium (join something), or pick up a new idea/knowledge set (learn something new to believe in) is active - and takes energy. People like the path of least resistance → They are more likely to maitain their current level of included/inclusiveness or become less so as they drop out of social circles/activities.
Love - you find the woman of your dreams, you want to keep her and she you. So you both start a process of ego-pruning, trimming off the parts that you feel may offend your true love. Changing - becoming the sum of the shared traits you have in common. This (perhaps only temporary) levelling of the playing-field produces a huge boost to exclusivity. Clearing out the mental wardrobe of all your unfashionable clothes if you like.
After love, family and yet more constriction of the self, you sacrifice your ego upon the altar of your children.
friendship - for a good friendship the people involved must be relatively simular in all areas - wealth/status/etc. Because if there’s a serious imbalance in an area that is held of value to one of the friends - negative feelings arise more often than not. Children are all the same - they make and have lots of friends. As you age - it becomes harder and harder to find people in your niche… Friendships dwindle, and are lost as one goes beyond the other.
Peer pressure, you mustn’t like what the boss doesn’t like. You must not question what society fears - you must exclude it/repulse it.
(I’m depressing myself
)
So anyway - maybe some people wake up around their late 30s or early 40s and think shit - I’m completely exclusive. I’m not like anyone else. I’m alone. No-one understands me. Not even the wife/husband. That’s when God can become a big buddy again. He’s sufficiently amorphus to be moulded into anyone’s idea of an ideal best friend…
Anyway - suspect I’ve probably misunderstood what you meant by ‘exclusivity’ and ‘inclusivity’ But hope you all enjoyed the ride anyway.