ERR-MALE - A poem from 2002

Creative Forums Creative Writing
1

Something in my eye.
I’d like to call it
“dust”
but confess I must
This airborne foreign object
which waters my eye
is
a tearful of love.
One I’ll never brush away;
rather, I’ll leave it untouched
to allow it to dry
on my cheek
right where it lie.

…hope the common household cockroach
I just anointed w/ a drop of urine
that strayed well off course
draws some measure of comfort
in that sentiment
dog-paddling capsized on the bathroom floor
there beneath the toilet

2

Suggestion only! Great poem!!
Last three lines could be-“Until it dries/On(or upon for rhythm) my cheek/Right where it lies.”

3

Thanks, lerrellus - gald you liked it. When you metioned the last three lines, I had to take a double-take, b/c the lines you quoted as the last three lines are not actually the last three lines. In case you didn’t read the entire poem, his is a two stanza poem with the last stanza appearing in italics after the three successive asterisks. If, in fact, you missed that part of the poem, please reread it with that italicized stanza included and then tell me what you think. I hope your positive opinion remains the same. If you did read both stanzas, then disregard that request.

Thanks also for the suggested rewording of the last three lines [of the first stanza] of the poem - it’s an interesting and good suggestion, but I like the wording as is;and, I think the suggested rewording, though good, alters the intended meaning too much and takes the reader somewhere slightly different from where I want them to be taken.

–N. - AKA: The Straight-faced Clown