Glasgow Stories
Here, yesterday I wiz walkin’ alang Suachiehall street and who wiz standin’ just outside burger king but big willy the junky. He wiz ott his fuckin’ tree. Totally hammered. Just stadin in the street totally gone - sozziled. Movin on the spot but a zombie kinda way fallin a wee bit forward a wee bit back. Like he wiz on ket or smack or the big H. His heed hanging doon and his legs goin doon like he wiz about to squat or just givin way but he kept springing back up and then kind of hooverin aboot on his feet, almost dancin. Thing is – it wiz a busy Saturday – filled wae cunts shoppin and they aw just walked by as big willy zoned oot his mind and danced aboot on the spot like a fuckin’ oddball-lost-it. Funny as fuck man. HAHA, a bet he wiz just daein’ a wee dance so he could cadge a burger oot a burger king, F’kin genius.
Fucksake man! I met this auld jaky in the street he wiz pished and so wiz a and he kept tryin’ tae take the piss right oot a me but he was just stringin me alang, always sayin’ ‘whit! whit’ whit!’ tae every question I ask um. Fing is I ust passed him and he said ‘awright young fella’ and wee jus started talkin’ a bit but he wiznae makin’ any fuckin sense so I just kind aw took the piss. he reeked o piss and stale smoke and just oldness. old Glasga jaky smell haha. like he huddnay washed in decades. but as we wir stanin’ two auld women passed us and he just started sayin’ ‘member when I wiz a teddyboy, a wiz a teddy boy…’ and then followed the auld women, who were probably kakin’ their pants, and he walked alang bammin’ them up and from the distance it looked like he wiz tryin’ tae kiss wan o’ them and they tried to walk faster and I just turned around and fucked off elsewhere.
You won’t fuckin believe this! It wiz fucking BRILLANT! Wiz walkin’ alang the road, as yee day, and I kid hear this junky whore moanin…and guess whit! She hud her hand and a wee bit o er arm stuck in the fuckin’ postbox. hahahahah! She wiz out the game as well and kind of lollin’ about on the spot moanin’ that she couldn’t get her arm out the post box. turns out she wiz trying her luck at bumpin some of the letters in the post hopin tae find a bit of doe. But I just stood wae Jamie and tam and alsay laughin right at her. hahahaha! she was a fuckin’ disgrace. She wiz makin’ no sense, spangled oot her mind, moanin’ like she had downs or sumting – she wiz saying ‘fuck off, nae gonnae help me….fuck off, fuck off!’ we jist kept laughin and then Alsay filmed her on his phone and we just kept piss our selves and then just walk away, and watched the video over again. Funny is fuck! Glasgow is a fuckin whole filled wae scum. Yaaaaas, belter! fuckin love it!
Am bobby: 45. Sum folk don’t realise we’ve goat fuck all. Ye cannae lend money fae the real companies so yee need to go tae the loan sharks – mainly fae the hostels. And these cunts will slash yir face without a second fought. They are a God end but. The only option fir maist people in a similar position as maself. Thet gave me money = no fir drink – but fir the bingo – so if a won at the bingo I could have a drink if a wanted a drink. I’m trying to be the honestest I can hear. There is a lot o poverty in the schemes o Glasga ever fir an older guy like me. throughout schemes in britian. it’s filled wae the same problems. poverty problems. the states got hunners. perople claim we feed aff the state but they feed as ay us as well. it’s a feeding frenzy. nothing gets dished out correctly. It’s aaw fucked. In fact, I’ll tell yee, once I shot a lender, I got mare a fright than he did, cause aw the bang, but I liked the blood haha! But I just shot him in the arm….cause he kept putin’ the money I owed him up…he screamed like a bastard. Next week, the story wiz in a wee shitey newspaper, one that aw the schemes sell, ya know exposing pedos and criminals so people go to their hoose an stab or kill them…well, ma story aboot the shooting wiz in their. mental! ye know the best hing abot bein’ mental – yea can get away wae murder. and you know the best thing aboot bein’ at the bottom of the ladder…yee realise how corrupt the scum are….how corrupt the system is….how corrupt the people are. and then ya always know the intimidation is the only fuckin’ policy we need. rick or poor – they will aw cower when you threaten thum in the town or when yee stab them or slash them for life or just break thur teeth. everyone is fuckin terrified and I’ll take advantage aw that fact. we all whul.