Existential Despair

Philosophy Forums Philosophy
1

Salve omnia. This is my first post on the site, so forgive me if I begin to ramble seemingly incessantly. Throughout my “life,” I have been beset by a burning desire for knowledge and power. However, recently, I have been unable to extract myself from an epistemological quandary. I hope that all of you can help.
As the title of the post indicates, I am in the midst of existential despair as well as a sort of pathological nihilism. I find myself constantly worrying about everything about which I think.
For a long time, I thought I knew what logic and reason were. Now, I am uncertain. I cannot be at all certain that what I consider to be logical is what is actually logical. Furthermore, I cannot be at all certain whether such a thing as logic even exists. For all I know, logic, reasoning, all of my thoughts could merely be some form of illusion that is beyond my comprehension. Everything could very well be beyond my comprehension and, given my mental state (much longer story), everything does seem to be suddenly and frighteningly beyond all comprehension.
I thought for a while that I could draft something of a probability scheme for the structure of reality and epistemology, but what is probability? Does it exist? Is it a logical construct or simply an attempt by a feeble human mind to comfort itself about the future?
I also considered a certain “protocol,” by which I would acknowledge all of the epistemological possibilities that I have considered, but I seem unable to maintain this pattern of thought. I find even the simplest of mental tasks to have increased in mental taxation by orders of magnitude.
Part of me concludes that I am merely a coward for fearing the potential possibilities of “reality,” and part of me feels suddenly stricken with metaphysical blindness, deafness, and dumbness. It feels as though my life has become a sort of kafkaesque nightmare.
I apologize if my thoughts were unstructured, unclear, inadequately explained, and/or impertinent, but I tried to express myself as best as I could while maintaining some form of brevity. Yes, I realize that you may be wondering why I bothered to post here if I cannot come to grips with what is real, or if such a distinction between reality and illusion even exist, but I have been an avid reader of this forum for a number of years now, and I feel that I require an answer, no matter how potentially illusory, from the illuminaries of this site that I hope do exist. In summary, I am desperate for an answer to my dilemma.

Thank you,
Apollo

2

As the resident Existential Detective, I would like to ask you a few preliminary questions before we proceed into the diagnosis.

Please, have a seat and make yourself comfortable.

First, I will need to know how old you are. Also, do you wear tube socks or socks that stop at the ankle? Do you prefer to eat fried seafood, or broiled seafood? What was the name of your last girlfriend (I’m assuming you’re a “he”) And finally, when you put a letter into an envelop, do you lick the glue-strip in one motion without breaking contact, or do you “blot” the strip with your tongue?

3

Although my severely impaired mental faculties (if I have any at all) are unable to comprehend the relevance of your questions, I will nonetheless oblige in gratitude of a response.
Firstly, I am 18 years old.
Secondly, I wear tube socks (although I must confess, I have never heard them referred to as such)
Thirdly, I prefer not to eat seafood at all.
Fourthly, I have never had a girlfriend, or any friends at all for that matter (and you are correct in assuming my male gender).
Finally, I do not lick the glue-strip at all when putting a letter into an envelope.

4

:laughing:

5

You are entering phase two. The anxiety you are experiencing is largely due to the pressures and expectations placed upon you by the authority figures in your life. Eighteen marks the age of independence- the question “what should I do” is weighing heavily upon you now more than ever before.

Hormones are raging. A general physical, sexual, and intellectual restlessness accompanies late adolescence, and coupled with the social discourse mentioned above, the waters are rough.

The good news is this. You haven’t even begun to know real despair, unless you are one of those freak geniuses who, like Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, became old men at twenty. Hopefully what we have here is most likely a case of teenage angst. I recommend listening to Marlyn Manson and cursing at your parents, first. Try that for a few days and let me know what happens.

Yep. Just as I thought. You, sir, have skinny legs and you feel unconfident. For that I recommend jogging or speed-walking.

This problem is more deeply rooted in the psyche. Your eating habits represent your civility at its most animalistic level. You don’t eat seafood because the creatures of the ocean seem strange and primitive to you. You’d prefer a cheeseburger to some scallops, and this means that you have psychologically divorced yourself from the organic beauty and simplicity of nature. Your eating habits are entirely too modern. You need to realign yourself with your animality. For this I recommend eating a grub-worm or some ants.

Until now. I’m your friend, kid. You can call me 'trop.

Here is an irony for you. You are missing out on what you will later look back at as insignificant, namely, your lack of relationships with girls. At such time, only then would you be capable of really understanding the immensity and passion of love anyway, so there will be no experience of loss. Then, when you realize this, will relationships matter and you will find yourself a woman.

Uh huh, just as I suspected. You have an obsession and fascination with danger. I’ve seen it before.

You like to take risks with your mail. The thought of your letter getting stolen arouses you, so you leave it open when you mail it.

Be careful. That kind of risk is questionable when compared to risks of a lesser degree…like sky-diving or sky-scraper window washing, for example.

Well, I hope this helped. Check back with me after you’ve thought about it some.

6

My turn! My turn! Can I be analyzed with really neat questions? :stuck_out_tongue: (I’m serious)

7

In an existential context there is but one certainty - your existence. Once you have accepted and internalized that fact, you must then accept that you’re ‘free’. Free to make choices, you must take responsibility for your choices/decisions, creating an ‘essence’ for your being - authenticity.

If you reject the above mentioned ‘freedom’ and hide behind the wall of despair, you’re engaging in self deception and living in ‘bad faith’.

I strongly recommend you read Sartre’s Existentialism is Humanism essay, you will be surprised how enlightening it can be.

/btw, with all do respect the whole idea of 'Existential Detective" was part of the satire in I Heart Huckabees, i hope you’re not taking it seriously.

8

I’m farily certain that’s the whole idea: movie pun, or something to that effect.

9

detrop wrote:

:astonished: The uncanny truth of those words is profoundly scary. I do not jest.

10

Ignore Sartre, go back at least as far as Nietzsche if not as far as Kierkegaard. Those two are much better.

But no, there is no logical proof for the rules of probability. The fallacy of induction is there in all statements of such rules. There are several threads here that cover this in excruciating detail (‘I need another logician to show Imp how wrong he is’ is one such thread) but I can give you the basics if you like…

11

You should atleast demonstrate why you think Sartre is not worth any time.

Sisyphus0

12

I did outline a few of my issues in a discussion with detrop but the name of the thread escapes me. Perhaps the troppy one can help you out on that front…

13

To detrop -
Firstly, I am an old man at my age, not because I claim to be a genius, but merely due to the weight of my experiences. Your claim that my feelings are merely teenage angst are, at best, a miscalculation. Despite my age, I have never been a teenager, and this is more angst by the classical definition. I have been under the pressures and expectations of authority figures for my entire life, that is nothing new. I have cursed at my parents before, and achieved nothing, for reasons that are best explained in a psychologically oriented thread. I find Marilyn Monroe to be somewhat gauche. The question “what should I do?” was more relevant to me four and a half years ago. Now, perhaps the question is simply, if you will pardon the solecism, “WHAT THE FUCK!?”
Secondly, I do not have skinny legs, although the rest of my body has been noted for its slimness. In fact, although I have been wrongly accused of being anorexic due to my weight, my legs are relatively thick and muscular (I said relatively). Of course I feel unconfident, but not for that reason. I counter your recommendations by saying that I have breathing difficulties (that I have encountered recently) that no longer allow me to exercise, although not exercising is nothing new to me. However, I do pace around a lot in my house, as I have done my entire life. It is at a relatively brisk pace, as much as I can currently handle.
Thirdly, the reason why I prefer not to eat seafood is not because creatures of the ocean seem strange and primitive to me. Marine biology was one of my earliest hobbies. I have never even tried a cheeseburger. No, the reason why I prefer not to eat seafood is merely due to the bland taste, unpalatable texture, and the fact that I prefer to eat nothing at all.
Fourthly, I see no reason why I should shackle myself to some sadistic, hedonistic, inconsiderate human merely because its gender is opposite to mine. Bear in mind, I am not homosexual either. I have no sexual appetite whatsoever. As for the romantics among the readers, I am a very bitter, disillusioned young and simultaneously old person.
Fifthly, I do not have an obsession and fascination with danger. I simply have not had the occasion to mail a letter the old fashioned way.

To nh3nh4 -
When I refer to existential despair, or any disease, disorder, or condition, I refer not to the label that many seem to think has some actual significance. I use the names of such conditions as a sort of shorthand by which I refer in actuality to the sort of symptoms that apply. In this case, existential despair is a condition (I know you know what it is, I am merely reiterating it for the purpose of argument) in which one feels despair in response to the realization that every decision one makes is the result of an inadequate understanding of the world (to say the very, very least). Now, what diverges my situation from the default understanding (i.e. your understanding, which is by no means touched by idiocy. I simply have not explained myself well) is the fact that I cannot believe in the axiom of my own existence.

To both -
I appreciate your comments and suggestions and it is not my intention to cause hurt feelings by my refutations. I feel that this process helps to clarify what I have said in a way that helps the reader to understand my position.

To all -
As for the axiom of self-existence, is there any way of confirming my existence? I ask because it is one of my main doubts recently. “Cogito ergo sum” applies only under certain conditions: logic exists, logic exists as we perceive it to be, our perception of logic is how logic operates absolutely, and that logical reasoning is (at least) one way of discerning the “truth” (whatever that means). I can “observe” my own existence at will - but are my observations real? The fact that I observe does not necessarily prove the fact that I exist, because our perception of logic is necessary to induce that an observation cannot exist without an observer. Furthermore, if that observation does not exist (and I see no way of proving that it does), then the observer does not necessarily exist under our perception of logic. Finally, without our perception of logic being the necessary lighthouse of reality, all bets are off, so to speak, are they not?

I find it impossible to extract myself from this disturbing dilemma of doubt. Am I doomed? Can you help me to understand my fallacy (if any)?

14

Dear Apollo,

Yes, I’m afraid you well-might be doomed; that is, if you persist in trying to justify your life through reason alone.

There’s no ultimate, compelling reason why you or I should leap to life’s next moment. To borrow Thoreau’s admonition, “Cease to gnaw that crust!” One could sooner square a circle than validate their life by reason alone. Quoting John Searle (for umpteenth time)

“No set of statements of fact by themselves entails any statement of value.”

Emotion, not reason, introduces intrinsic meaning into this, otherwise, meaningless world. Sartre calls an emotion “a magical transformation of the world.” And this is precisely what you must do, Apollo. Your task is to transform this world as you find it, from a fishbowl of Democritean atoms, into a surreal (sur = on top of) world where things matter. Reason explains. Love creates. There is no value to deduce or explain unless you first create it. Nobody has ever discovered meaning that they hadn’t first, themselves, created.

I’m sorry, but I’ll have to let this go for the moment. My wife is waiting at the door with her coat already on.

Best,
Michael

15

Polemarchus, that is an interesting point of view. I agree with you that reason alone cannot provide purpose to one’s actions, and that one’s passions are what drive one to act. However, my problem is not in trying to find meaning or purpose in life. I know full well that the vaunted meaning of life is as subjective an experience as the agony of drawn breath. My problem is that I feel as though I am being dragged into a dark void in the maw of a great laughing skull by chains of diamond-hard ice as black as pitch; I cannot see why my life will not at any time dissolve its illusory comforts of law and order and become a circus of nightmarish scenarios and utter damnation (secularly speaking). I do not feel as though I can see my own existence. My problem is that I do not see any means of staving off this impending madness. I admit that my thoughts are influenced by my current psychological state, which is best left undisclosed. However, I do posit (and would like to hear a refutation) that there is no argument that can hold up against that tormenting abyss of realization that one’s every thought can indeed be completely wrong. Am I a coward? Perhaps. You need not spare me your cold remarks if you can provide me with an answer. Like Hamlet, I seek only a rock of solace and stability against the raging torrents of thoughts misbegotten.

16

Despair is the sensation of freeing ones self from life; it is the tearing away from Need. The detachment is felt as loss and the horror of being independent and responsible for ones self creates the feeling of isolation.
The horror of liberty is Despair.

The mind grasps for reasons, for meanings, for definitions, for ways to reattach itself and constrain itself into more comfortable dependence; for ways to be in relation to others.

Despair is free-will made conscious, creating distress and terror in the mind that has grown dependant on others and attached to the world.

Despair is indifference pushed to an extreme.

Despair is a stage.

17

Perhaps the reason you feel despair is because you’ve realized, as you said, that life only has meaning by way of subjectivity, and that meaning cannot exist alone, objectively.

You say you feel despair not because of lack of meaning or purpose, but because of impending madness, and the feeling of slipping into the void. Let me ask you this. Is not the reason anyone would feel despair because of the realization that there is nothing to be done about it? In other words, you feel despair because it’s out of your control, you can’t do anything about it. Well, you’ve just solved your own problem, and you didn’t even realize it. There is nothing to be done about it. In fact, there is nothing to do at all. Because if there was, what could it possibly be? Perhaps the only thing you could say that could be done, is realizing there is nothing to do. :wink:

18

You’ll hear no adequate refutation because you’re correct. There is no guarantee that your thoughts are “right”. That is to say, there is no promise that what you do will have the effects that you desire. There is no guarantee that your next step will not be onto a trapdoor which will send you tumbling into the fiery pits of Hell.

I do dispute your belief that such a realization is a “tormenting abyss”. No mere thought causes terror or torment by itself, unless you yourself believe that it must cause terror and torment. Indeed, when you stop believing that uncertainty must be tormenting, life becomes an adventure rather than a torment! But it’s not easy. One cannot choose to stop seeing the world in a certain way immediately, because people are creatures of habit. It is an extended process; it may take days, weeks, months, or (in my case) years. Yes, I once felt the same way you did; but certain books, ideas, and (most of all) activities helped me to break the habit of living my life in fear and torment. I don’t know if the path I traveled will work for you, but I can certainly offer you my perspective.

Most importantly, don’t pretend that emotional problems are purely philosophical ones. Thought and ideas alone cannot cause emotion of any kind, unless you have habitually forged the link between certain thoughts and certain emotions. Because it is these links that are troubling you, philosophy alone can’t help you. Your state of mind is important here. All philosophy is psychology, for man’s mind and man’s heart are the measure of all things that he beholds.

Unless tell us who you are, ESPECIALLY the thoughts, feelings, actions, and habits which consistently cause torment, fear, and/or shame, no philosophy of ours will help you. I promise you that.

19

Try this. Language cannot happen without the use of the statement. No statement can be made unintentionally. The “statement” is not what is stated, but the stating itself is only apparant. Stating cannot be arbitrary. This ‘act of stating,’ as it is intentional, has a meta-value that is inherent to its process. This is demonstrable by the fact that never in language can a claim be made about value, but neither can the intentional statement be arbitrary according to its own ends; there are no accidental beliefs, whether ‘correct’ or ‘incorrect’ matters not. This is to say that while proposing value is out of the question, as no proof can be given for a real case of “good” or “bad” via the ‘belief,’ for example, the implication of value is present in the act of the statement since to make a statement is to be intentionally engaged…to ‘be concerned,’ as Heidegger put it if I recall, and this reveals a meta-value for the form of language. Language as a mode of caring for the world. Rich with value and meaning.

Ultimately I am not comfortable with a distinction between a ‘fact’ and a ‘value,’ as I expressed briefly in the dusty “Portable de’trop.”

20

Apollo,

I was really only kidding. I wanted to make you laugh because you seemed bummed. Instead, irony has it that you think I am a nut.

My posts were in jest. Sometimes I wonder if I should tag a sarcastic post with a notification that it is sarcastic. Most know me well enough to be able to identify sarcasm and seriousness, although I say some strange shit sometimes so who knows what they think.

Pretty cool sea-food psychoanalysis though, eh? I almost had myself convinced of “unraveling the existential significance of food,” as Sartre put it.

p.s. I have never eaten a grub or an ant.