F- F- F- F- FLOOD!!!!!!

Philosophy Forums Society, Government, and Economics
1

I just got a phone call from a computerised voice saying that there is a flood alert for the river that runs through my town. Now, the river that runs through my town more specifically runs through my back garden.

At the last measurement of the river at the bridge the water stood (well, flowed) at 2.11 metres, which is firmly in the FLOODING IS POSSIBLE! range. The highest recent recording was 2.28 and there’s still heavy rain forecast so with a bit of luck we will at least beat the recent record. The normal range is between 0.40 and 1.60 metres.

The Met Office has issued a severe weather warning (this is basically their only purpose, since their ability to predict the weather is almost non-existent) not just for my town but for the whole region:

However, this is where it gets complicated. According to the key, the current situation in my area is orange, i.e. ‘be prepared’. This is one up from ‘be alert’ and one down from ‘take action’. So I am currently decided whether to take action in order to be prepared, or to prepare to take action should my region’s conditioned by upgraded to red.

Further complicating matters, when I looked up the details via the Environment Agency they say that a Flood Alert has been issued for our particular bit of the river, though a Flood Warning (which is one notch up from an Alert) has been issued for the bit of the river just down from us. However, unlike the Met Office the Environment Agency do not consider being alert as part of their scale. They go straight from no warning to issuing a Flood Alert, which contrary to its name does not mean ‘be alert’ but rather that ‘Flooding is possible. Be prepared’.

That’s one notch down from the Flood Warning, which means ‘Flooding is expected. Immediate action required’.

This itself is one notch down from a Severe Flood Warning, which means ‘Severe flooding. Danger to life.’

So, should I be alert and prepare for further Alerts, or simply maintain a state of current preparedness, or actively seek to prepare for possible action or inaction should my river’s category be upgraded or downgraded soon? The graphics are very quaint, and the categories very amusing, but none of this really helps me figure out whether to do anything and what, if anything, to do.

Your advice, dear ILPites, would be appreciated.

2

Seems like a good time to visit a friend in another town! Good luck!

3

I know you Americans aren’t particularly au fait with the geography of anywhere outside of the US but that orange patch that is supposed to be alert to the need to prepare to take action covers a considerable area. Though technically I am on the North Eastern edge of it so I could just head away from it. But it might be like in the disaster movies, when you run away but the terrifying thing follows you as an even faster rate than you move.

But, and I’m not sure if I already mentioned this, it is raining outside, so, much as I appreciate your concern, your wish of luck and your suggestion, it is perhaps not the best moment to be thinking of visiting friends.

4

just swim to ireland bro

5

Ok then, considering this new weather report, I’ve changed my prescription.

THIS IS A NEW ADVICE ALERT!! THIS IS A NEW ADVICE ALERT!!

The National Department Of Advice now suggests the following:

  1. Post comments on forums asking for advice from random strangers around the world who couldn’t possibly know what you should do, so you can then tell them that they are wrong.

Scientific research has demonstrated that taking these steps will prevent flood damage in 0 of 79 cases involving unexpected rainfall amounts in areas of high wankage.

6

This is much more the sort of response I was looking for, many thanks.

7

That would entail crossing the entirety of the orange area. I can’t help but think that with my luck it’ll turn red just as I get halfway, by which point taking action will be a moot point.

8

I’ve just noticed that the graph showing the water level in the river has updated since I posted it. Now that’s service.

9

Pair of wellies will do you right. Just kick back and relax. Although, just kick back and relax on something floatable.

Good luck!

10

Do you have iOS 6 already?

HEYOOO

11

You do have a sense of humour, STA–How nice.

How much will the river have to rise before you’re flooded? How much flooding should you expect, if it happens–will your yard get soggy or will your basement get damp? How many weirs are there upstream from you?

Actually, the weather service here isn’t much better, but it may be better than it was. NOT! Severe weather used to be reported by off-shore boats which radioed in what they were experiencing, the prevailing wind direction, and so on. They may actually have been more accurate than the weather satellites and computer projections we use now.

Mom Nature can be hinkey when she wants to be. :smiley:

12

As you can all see from the continually updating graph - we absolutely sodomised the recent record for the level of water in our river. An accomplishment for all concerned.

In the end, the river just about reached the tops of its banks but did not burst them, and as such there was no flooding per se, just a very rapid and very full river. It’s exciting - makes a great noise churning along.

The river would have had to rise at least another metre from its highest point yesterday for there to be a real danger of actual flooding in our house, but our garden encompasses a stretch of riverbank so it almost, almost got up onto the lawn. But not quite. Some water did seep up through the floor of the cellar (basement).

We don’t have a yard - this is Yorkshire. Anything remotely resembling a yard has been turned back into a grassy knoll. I don’t think there are any weirs upstream from us - the water falls on the nearby hills and our river is one of several that carry it down off the hills towards the Lune valley (which is right in the middle of the ORANGE ZONE).

Thanks to all for your concern, it appears that the worst has now passed. Some others were not so lucky. Cumbria (the Lake District) is pretty badly flooded right now, but that happens every couple of years. Silly place, really, it’s just a bunch of lakes with a few dry spots of land in between.