favorite quotes?

this really has no point other than i like quotes and i’m looking for some to print off and staple to my walls, like

“War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other’s children.” -Jimmy Carter

“It is the duty of the patriot to protect his country from its government.” -Thomas Paine

“Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.” -George Bernard Shaw

they don’t necessarily have to be political, they just have to be quotes.

“if we dont succeed, we run the risk of failure”
“by making the right choices, we can make the right choice for our future”
“resolve, bitches”-

“This ain’t no party, this ain’t no disco,
This ain’t no fooling around
No time for dancing, or lovey dovey,
I ain’t got time for that now”

Dubya discussing the intricasies of war with the Talking Heads

Ace Ventura had a tendency to stir and excite the Buddhist monks at the temple which took him in. This was cause for alarm among many of them, and finally after due consideration, they asked him to leave. The chief monk new that Ace wouldn’t leave unless he felt like he accomplished something, and as they urged him to leave Ace said:

“But I haven’t achieved supergalactic omnipresent oneness yet.”

The monk replied:

“No problem, here, take my medallion.”

Ace replied:

“But this took you eighty years to achieve.”

The monk, losing his patience, says:

“Its okay, I’ll get another one.”

And with that, he was on his way.

From the Master:

Those are my principles. If you don’t like them I have others.

  • Why, a four year old child could understand this report."
  • Run out and get me a four year old child. I can’t make head nor tail of it.

I would never join a club that would have me as a member

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Marriage is wonderful institution… if, of course, you like living in an institution.

The secret of success in showbusiness is honesty and sincerity. Once you learn how to fake that, you’ve got it made.

Now there’s a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here.

A man is as old as the women he feels.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

My brother thinks he’s a chicken - we don’t talk him out of it because we need the eggs.

Here’s to our wives and girlfriends… May they never meet.

She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

I have nothing but confidence in you. And very little of that.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

You’re heading for a breakdown. Why don’t you pull yourself to pieces?

Why should I care about posterity? What’s posterity ever done for me?

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.

“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving isn’t for you”
“Don’t eat the yellow snow”
Confuscius say “Baseball is wrong, man with 4 balls cannot walk”
Confuscius say “Man standing on toilet is high on pot”
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries”
“I am bored”- Otto von Bismark. the rest of the quote is “the German Reich is made.”
“Stupid is as stupid does”
“Life is like a box of chocolates, whenever something looks good it turns out to taste like shit”
“Life is a bitch, then you die”
“The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train”

“He was a wise man who invented beer” – Plato (seriously, guys: I’m not making this one up!)

“Due to the increasing number of stupid people, the earth will suddenly stop spinning and we will all be flung into space. The truly intellegent people will know when exactly the earth will halt, and thus know when to hang-on. With any luck, only the stupid people will be flung into space” – Dogbert (from the Dilbert comic-series).

“Stupidity is like nuclear energy: it can be used for great purposes, but you never want to actually get any of it on yourself”

“The dumbest of quotes can be found in this thread” – Stephen the Gimmick, A.D. 2004


wow, there’s a lot of great quotes in dilbert. :slight_smile:

I often quote myself, it adds spice to my conversation - George Bernard Shaw