Breaking News: I am now standing outside one of the feminist leader’s house. Her name is Alotta Vagiena
Joker: Greetings Alotta Vagiena, I’m glad you’re allowing me to interview you today. As you may of heard I’ve just started by own news reporting organization quite literally over night called Sick Sad Fucking World(SSFW). I’m told that our popular viewing demographic is dying elderly people in retirement homes receiving chemo. Why that is exactly I do not know. I am told we get excellent television ratings however.
Alotta Vagiena: Thank you for receiving my interview. I just felt like clearing the air with the live internet about what’s really going on with the military draft and the feminist movement.
Joker: I see that you’re doing a lot of crying there holding your kleenex tightly. Is that Mascara running down your face? Please take your time as a part of this interviewing process.
Alotta Vagiena: It just isn’t fair! It wasn’t supposed to happen like this! I was supposed to marry a big fat lawyer and doctor while living in the suburbs like some sort of princess! Then this equal opportunity bullshit for the military draft started. (SOBS)
Why can’t this evil patriarchal system of warfare leave good women like me alone? I mean, don’t these people even sexual studies in college? I have a masters degree in sexual studies.
I dreamt my whole life of becoming a wealthy affluential trophy wife shielded, insulated, spoiled, and protected from the rest of society in my expensive designer clothes that I get to wear everywhere. We’re talking platinum credit cards here.
Joker: I just got done speaking to Fred also known as G.I. Jane earlier and she says that she is feeling quite enthusiastic about the whole female military draft. Would you care to comment on that Alotta Vageina?
Alotta Vagiena: Yeah, fuck that lesbian bulldyke hoe! She doesn’t speak for all of us feminists! That nasty carpet munching bitch!
Joker: I see, yes. Can I put that down for official record?
Alotta Vagiena: Yes, you can.
Joker: Is there anything else you would care to add?
Alotta Vagiena: No not really at this time. This is a very scary, trying, and stressful time for me along with my fellow feminists.
Joker: I understand. Did I mention that the television channel pays us pretty good money as a reporter. I was thinking on the next commercial break we fuck like rabbits on your sofa.
Alotta Vagiena: grins
This is the Joker signing off the televised broadcast. Stay tune to our next episode as I go balls in deep within Alotta Vagiena on her living room sofa. Our latest commercial advertiser is SunBlock 9000. Does the radioactive fallout bother you in the Washington D.C. area? Are you always worried of another mushroomcloud overhead? This patented ultra synthetic sun screen will do its best to take care of all your possible skin cancer needs. Please remember to look for it at your closest local retailer near you.
