Fun things to say and do to store clerks with philosophy

Has shopping become mundane and boring? Well not anymore! this thread will help you to perk your day up while traveling through Wal-Mart, K-Mart or any other store, watch for new contributions. Religious and pyschology,political perkups accepted happily.

While at check out counter carefully move all beef products including meat, gloves, shoes, makeup, shoe polish, cheese, lard into one bag. Innocently look at the store clerk and claim that you are trying to piece together this cow It spoke to you. Variation: Throw in some oreos just to confuse the issue then just smile knowingly and walk away.

Or explain that this cow had really bad karma and you are going to help it.

Or say that the cows all knew each other from before.

Look at the store clerk with excitement and exclaim Wow! do you realize that this could all come from one cow? I will bet there is more of it floating around here. Ah the looks Priceless.

When asked paper or plastic get excited and exclaim: Paper? I thought paper was no longer produced? Is it real? Did a tree really die to make it?

Look at some stock clerk that is standing around pretending to look busy and ask Can I really find myself here or am I lost? Walk away, while looking over your shoulder with a bland expression.

Ask some unsuspecting clerk: Why there are instructions on a shampoo bottle. Does the store think that customers are Idiots? Or are they expecting customers to become idiots? Is this telling us if we use this product on our heads it will make us dumb? I dont want this, I changed my mind. /Use complete calm seriousness in your voice and face. And is best used when there are people behind you.
(This one can be fun with many different instructions and labels, I have successfully embarrassed husband, son and friends while causing them to laugh their buns off even while they are embarrassed. Also if you are shopping with someone else and they are right behind you, if they chime in by following your lead, its soo good.)

Hey don’t feel guilty they are taking more of your money then they should. Have some entertainment, you are paying for it. :laughing:

My favorite, after standing behind two or three customers who pay with plastic (one of which is void, and all the screwing around to find some way to pay) is to ask if their store accepts cash, that I’m fresh out of plastic.

In the right mood, when they brightly ask how are you? I act confused (pretty easy for me) and say uhhh, I don’t know, is this a test? Do I have to have an opinion?

WAAAAY more fun is to catch the sweet little 20year old clerk with about ten people in line and ask loudly where can I find the condoms?

Interestingly, they’ve opened an additional checkstand and asked me to be first in line! I must impress them or something… :stuck_out_tongue:

I’ve always preferred the classic drive by mooning with the fruit bowl on the glass … that one always leaves me in stitches … if no one else.