Funky Taco

Creative Forums Creative Writing
1

Accompanied song of same name: soundcloud.com/rafajafar/funky-taco

What happened was a shame
I could have eaten till I came
Sour cream, it went foul
Fuckin up my game

Had to run to the border
Up late made to order
Grab me ten tacos
A Chalupa and some water

Late night, hit the wall,
Had to grub out till I fall,
Got sick, at my desk
With my roomate going lol

Just back, from the Bell
Wasn’t feeling very well
Tried to sleep, fuckin cant
All my stomach I expel

My girl pings the phone
Says she is all alone
Just watched a chick flick
I suspect she wants to bone

“…Come play with your implants
But Sorry babe, I just can’t.”
She whispers something dirty
I start to put on my pants

Heading to my car
I didn’t get very far
My stomach made a noise
I wasn’t feeling like a star

Turn around to come back
Got a panic attack
Not gunna make it brotha
Started to cough and hack

Ping her back on my cell
“Babe, I’m not feeling very well.”
Crazy bitch starts to laugh
“You just puked, I can tell”

“If you think this shit was funny
Well let me tell you, honey.
You’re not getting laid
And I’m all out of money.”

“Baby I love you for who you are,
Let me hop into my car.
So I can take care of my man
I can stand the puke and gore”

Oh wait that was a dream
She told me I was mean
That if she can’t get my dick
She’ll just play with her bean

“I don’t give a fuck”
I said as I upchuck
Got a funky taco
And a girl who really sucks

2

That is completely ridiculous…

I LOVE IT!!!

3

Here are the lyrics to one of mine, kind of along those lines:

Lyrics: “Death of a Fry Jockey” by PavlovianModel146 (My band was known as Dethstryke, but someone has that name now, probably did all the accompanying legal shit too)

It’s an hour before dawn after a bottle of Jack,
and much like usual I’m having a hunger attack.
I don’t need a salad or low Carbs, I need lots of grease,
For that sweet frying oil gives me an orgasmic release.

I walk in and on the menu I do not see,
A section proclaiming curly fries and gravy.
I look again wondering if I drank too much,
But, they aren’t there for breakfast, dinner, or lunch.

(Chorus)

Nowhere to go at four in the morning,
I’m in mourning.
Nowhere to fill my intoxicated gut,
Stuck in a rut.
Nowhere to get my curly fries,
So it’s no surprise;
That tonight is the night,
Everyone in Hardee’s dies.
(End chorus)

I mailed an anthrax complaint to the supervisor in charge,
I told her that I want a medium, hell, make it a large.
I voiced my opinion with an AK-47 in my hand,
I screamed, “CURLIES,” as I threw a grenade from the van.

The manager said no, I told her she was mean,
Then, I covered the whole fucking place in gasoline,
I lit a fire and I danced through the night,
I was convinced that I was in the right.

(Chorus)

Nowhere to go at four in the morning,
I’m in mourning.
Nowhere to fill my intoxicated gut,
Stuck in a rut.
Nowhere to eat my curly fries,
So it’s no surprise;
That tonight is the night,
Everyone in that place dies.

(End chorus)

I got out after serving a no parole ten year,
I walked into Hardee’s knowing my curly fries were near.
I had heard that they brought them back three years ago,
Now the wait is over and off to Hardee’s I had to go.

I went into Hardee’s fearing being recognized on the sneak,
Then, I found out they got rid of the fries last week.
The clerk asked, “Would you like fries with that,” he was out of luck,
Because I pulled my forty-five and muttered, “You stupid motherfuck.”

(Chorus)

Nowhere to go at four in the morning,
I’m in mourning.
Nowhere to fill my inebriated gut.
I can’t get out of this rut.
Ten years, I still have no curly fries,
So, it’s no surprise.
That that night and this night,
(Hopefully everynight)
Everyone in that place dies.

Nowhere to eat my curly fries,
so it’s no surprise,
That tonight is the night,
Everyone in Hardee’s dies…

4

Wow, that’s really good. Did you ever record it?

5

Thanks for the compliment!

We had a demo tape of fairly poor quality that we sent out to bars to try to get gigs. I don’t think I have any of them anymore. We intended to get into the studio and record a proper album, but we never really had the fundage for all of that. We pretty much ended up playing live for a few years and that was it.

The only activity that I’ve had in the last five years was a wedding we did as a favor and then we did something on New Year’s Eve. It wasn’t even entirely the original band or anything. I may get back to it one day if I ever have the time…