This is one point I dont get. Giving to others doesnt make me happy. is it sposed to? Does it mean theres something wrong about me that it doesn’t? Because it doesnt. I dont get it.
Giving something to someone is exerting power over that person. Perhas you feel guilty?
Power! ? ! Thats quite an assertion you made there . whoa. ouch. to give is to exert power? ouch. thats mean.
He is right. That does not mean that the power has to be used, its just there. You could see the power and feel guilty. But I doubt it. If you are not happy giving then you may just be a taker/user, no biggie. Or you give because you feel obliged through social pressure to give, so you are not giving freely you are giving because you have to. Either way it would not produce a happy feeling.
Are you exerting power over a person if you give anonymously? True altruism?
if it doesn’t make you happy then don’t give, though maybe it is not supposed to make you happy
I don’t consider the issue in terms of there being something ‘wrong’ with someone who doesn’t give, because some people don’t have enough to give, whether it be material or emotional or spiritual. The only thing that would be ‘wrong’ would be if that person has the potential to advance further in life, but holds himself back out of fear or for some other negative reason.
And I don’t think it’s the giving itself that makes a person happy, although sometimes I’ve found getting out of my own head and helping others who need it can take me out of a funk or help me to view my own situation a little differently. I think the happiness comes more from realizing what your true needs are and letting go of holding onto so much stuff or grasping at having more and more things. When materialism loses its grip on you, then you can give freely what you don’t need. Freely means without any expectation of the outcome (like expecting the receiver to be grateful or to use what you’ve given him in the way you want him to). People who are content and feel that they have enough in life are just more inclined to want to help out someone else now and then. So I think the happiness comes from being able to let go, so that you can give without any self interest.
Ingenium
I agree. Let me ask you a question, once one gets to the point of “being able to let go” is happiness a necessary outcome? I only ask this because the freeing feeling of letting go could be an object. Would one not feel something closer to mere acceptance?
My opinion is that giving can make you happy, or it can not. This doesn’t mean that you are a bad person, or that anything is wrong with you. Perhaps what others have already said is correct, perhaps you are giving out of a social encouragement and not because you want to. Now, I also have to agree that giving may give you a feeling of freedom, that you are not further burdened by your material possessions. However, there really is nothing wrong with materialism in and of itself, so long as you don’t let it run your life.
You horrible, horrible person. Haha, just kidding. Altruism, or giving other people your stuff, is not inherently good. You feel good if you give someone else something if you think they’ve earned it, or if you want to for some reason. But you shouldn’t feel as if it’s your duty, and you’re somehow a bad person because you don’t want to give something to someone if they don’t deserve it.
Ice why don’t you try sending me a couple hundred bucks in the mail. If it doesn’t make you happy, I’ll send it back. I promise.
I think you’re not used to the ‘good’ feelings accompanied by giving. You have to truly ‘want’ to give whatever your giving. When you see another’s happiness it will make you feel good that you made said person feel good in their positive reaction which doubles as reinforcement in your case to repeat this action.
If you are giving something away through your own impulse decision and you feel unhappy then you should take a step back and ask yourself what was your inner-motivation for doing it, every action takes place for a psychological reason. Conversely, if you give something away after someone has asked or begged for it, the chances are that your unhappiness will instead stem from your own knowledge that the person has used you and does not really care about you or appreciate your gesture. To avoid unhappiness, in practical terms, don’t be too nasty, don’t be too nice.
Put this in context for us. What does make you happy?
Giving to MYSELF
To give something you have to have it. If you’re giving yourself something then you’re giving yourself something that you already have. How do you go about this? Do you take it away from yourself first then give it back? If you do that then once you take it away from yourself, how can you still have it to give? I’m so confused right now. I don’t see anything wrong with extreme selfishness, don’t get me wrong. I’m just not sure I understand your statement above.
Humans are so small and short-lived, on the universal scale.
So they don’t have, give or take anything, really.
Happiness is neither cause nor effect.
Happiness is not taken or given.
It’s a state of being, an inner-condition.
If you so happen to give to yourself
You connect to your true, real, natural self, in some way
Even slightly,
And THAT is pleasurable.
Later, one mistakes the object or action
For the source of pleasure,
Instead of realizing it was a temporary connection between the consciousness and material dimensions. When the creative and the created connect, spontanious growth, healing and pleasure expounds.
Dan~, dude. That should be a threadkiller, that last post of yours.
Because you have just said everything useful there is to say about the subject.
Nicely done. I’m proud to call you my friend.
<3 <3
Thanks Fausto.
I’ve been spending allot of quiet time out in the forest.
Some humans steel small amounts of wisdom from nature;
That’s they only way they can get smarter. 
Your ego is oriented a certain way, you can overcome that by training.
Everyone’s mind and body is influenced by evolutionary factors, some are rewarded by helping others, others are not.