Gods Little Complaint Department

Commandment #1----Set up a little complaint department.
Commandment #2----Ask/Tell ILP users to complain about the gods.
Commandment #3----You are ordered to the heavens after a
fortnight.

The gods have assigned me this task. I am a gods’ helper.

Moving to mundane babble. - Stumps

if god is so smart, how come he made christians? :-k

HUMP-----------Thanks. If I don’t get 14 replies what will happen to me?

I’m reminded of an old t.v. show, I think it was “What’s My Line” that had contestants guess which person did which job. The show concluded with “Will the real ----please stand up?” So there’s my question: Will the real God please stand up?

Good one. I remember watching that show when I was a little tyke. Do you remember the movie about the great imposter with Leonardo di Caprio, and he was on the show? What irony, eh. Suppose all the gods we humans come up with are just great imposters? Food for thought.

IERR and JONQ------------Good stuff. I only need 10 more replies to get there. Maybe Turtle should
have made this a suggestion box. ILP doesn’t like any hatred or complaints about any of the gods.

I am not so inclined to make complaints about a being that could possibly squish me out of existence. Just as I would not believe I could wag my finger at a rampaging Bison, tell it to stop and actually believe it will stop.
Both things are rather silly and not worth the risk.

I can complain about the human portion of religion, the religious humans… there needs to be laws allowing you to tase religion thumpers that go door to door selling their beliefs.

KRIS-----------Can I pass that on to your god?

:smiley: You betcha you can. I am not above a litle brown nosing even if i don’t have a God, it does not hurt to be polite to a possible entity that can remove me permanantly if it really does exist.I think Gods are fine, its what the humans spawn in their worship of gods that cause problems. I am not responsible for my son’s actions so No God should be held responsible for any human action.

KRIS-----------you don’t have a god, omg. Are you superstitious? Please make a complaint or at least something for a suggestion box. What are you worried about? Please help me, another piece of protoplasm.

This is like selling boy scout cookies.

Do you want an even dozen or a baker’s dozen?

Let me lodge a formal complaint against the god of perfect weather, which has been the case here for lo these many days. I am sorely grieved at all this beautiful sunshine sifting through the perfect green trees dappling the ground, the cars, and the streets with such wonderful patchwork shapes. Give me some cold, damp, drizzly weather just for a change so then I’ll really have something to gripe about.

Yrs truly, yr humble srvt,
jonquil

I don’t think I am superstitious I have 6 black cats I have walked under plenty of ladders and ohhh, wait, I do throw spilled salt over my left shoulder with my right hand… hmmm Ok just a tad superstitious :smiley:

Ok one suggestion coming up: Dear Gods , could you please make your Zealots more prone to nonviolence, Pretty please. They tend to ruin those perfect days you make for us. thank you and may your god bless you gods.

I have tons of worries Turtle I am a Mom, a spouse , an employee , a human but, I still smile, laugh, love and enjoy my life as much as possible without letting worries break me.
worries are not as important as the good things. :smiley:

Oh, my little turtle, have I not taught you already that there can only be “a god” or “I am the helper of many gods.”

Do you wish to serve me alone or the many other gods that will complicate your life? Man cannot, must not, serve two or more masters. If you wish to serve me alone, I shall leave you alone but you shall have my many smiles upon you and my profound gratitude.

Go little turtle with your little legs and help me to uphold the universe. You have my blessings…
turtle-earth.jpg

We here on Turtle Island walk the earth the better for knowing the land is solid beneath us.

Oh you all have helped me so much. I have my 14 replies. Goodbye god. Go piss on your leg.

I really love Turtle island. I like being “my little turtle”. I feel like I have a mommy again and a place to LIVE FOREVER. Thank god.

:laughing:

It’s turtles - all the way down.

there are only two types of gods e iddle and the busy ones.both have same characteristics and that is both are brutal and caring