growing beards

growing a beard is hard work. for one thing, you can’t trim before the sixth week, that’s disaster country. (at least i would advice against it, because god himself couldn’t trim perfectly evenly, and then it starts growing uneven, and by the eight week you don’t know what kinda shit hit the fan but your chin is short and cheeks long, and by this time your beard probably isn’t even growing b/c you’re too busy shortening it, trying to fix your first mistake, which was thinking you can trim …perhaps i speak only for those of us without electric trimmers.)
anyways, i’m in about the eigth week, and feel i need a trim because teh way things are… and christmas dinner, you know but anyways.
its pretty long, not too long. i like the weathered look. au naturel. on girls too, love a bush.

:laughing: Well, Christmas vacation just recently started, so I haven’t shaved for weeks, just because I’m lazy, and don’t have to worry about it. I’m not going anywhere, hopefully. Of course, I’m the type that could get away with not shaving for about a week as my whiskers are about the same shade as my skin, so I already had a head start.

if it isn’t Billy Gibbons or Dusty Hill, it isn’t a beard…


Oh, Monooq, I can picture you with a beard. Yummy and sexy.

caresses Kitty’s fuzzy tummy


The longest I’ve ever gone without shaving was about 3 weeks. My parents throw a fit if they see I’ve forgotten to shave. Personally, I could care less how I look with or without a small beard, but they insist I shave at least once a week.

I’m a geek. Aren’t geeks supposed to have an unruly amount of facial hair? :smiley:

no i think it was ass hair ;p

In my twenty fourth year I abandoned all efforts to be ‘stylish.’ Before such time I had the long hair and the chin patch (I’m not even going to try to spell gotee). Sometimes I would allow the hair to grow between the moustache and the chin part, to connect the two, but this usually resulted in a proportionate mess. I have never had a beard. I guess I became less occupied with style when I realized that it wasn’t paying off. Well maybe it was, but what it attracted (young woman who thump cosmopolitan magazine like it was a bible) I wouldn’t call worth the efforts of maintaining a fashion conscience.

My father has a beard that starts at his navel, moves up over his chest and neck, finally ending slightly under the eyes in the region still considered the cheek. One needs a comb and clipper merely to find him in all that hair.

So I was born as a veritable chia pet. In good time I was destined to be covered with it. Indeed, I am.

I try to think practically now. I keep short hair and a five o’ clock shadow. I’m not trying to achieve the five o’ clock shadow, mind you. It is instead the results of my shaving methods. I don’t use a razor and cream. That takes all of five minutes and if I’m in the bathroom that long I begin to feel suspicious.

I use an electric trimmer and run the device over my face without using the length gauger. So its not a clean shave, but godammit, its close enough for the girls I sleep with.

I have a hairy ass. I have a unibrow if I’m not careful. I have a little back hair, but only in patches, hardly noticable. I have hair on my balls that easily reach lengths of up to three inches if one were so inclined to stretch them out.

I like hair. Keeps me warm. But it must be practical. One day, when I begin my climb up Mount Everest, I will grow a beard. For then it will be useful. Until then, I’ll find hair extremities to be cumbersome and I will refuse to conform to cosmopolitan’s ‘ten most sexy guy tips’ platform for capitalist/consumerist discourse. Or, to be more frank, getting laid.


LOL !!! Very funny description of your dad.

So, you are a bonobo that hopes someday to climb Mount Everest.

I like hairy guys, but not bonobos. You are a bonobo.

Yeah, same here. I have a goatee trimmed like the one Johnny Depp has in The Ninth Gate as Dean Corso. (I’ll be honest, I want to be that character, lol.)

Growing a beard is a plausable commitment as well, I wanted to grow one, but when I found out the hair on my cheekbones didn’t grow well, scattered and scruffy, I had to resort to a goatee. One time I shaved it all off and I looked horridly years younger… It’s a good thing I grew it back fast cause my woman liked it.

What is it with chicks and men who have facial hair anyway? Is it something in opposition of attraction? Girls like guys with hair, guys like girls with no hair…I think that’s a given.

Please explain.

As for Everest, hell, I won’t make up the first rock unless I quite smoking. It is, among other things, a goal that sits somewhere between very possible and highly unlikely.

I have heard some females say that men with beards are hiding something…

Yes, and it is called a double chin.

Found it!

excerpted from:
Stephenson, Neal. Cryptonomicon, New York, HarperCollins, 1999.


Its like on trailer park boys, (i forget who said it), “some guys can drink and drive …and some guys can’t” …the same is true of beards.
(*note: nobody should ever drink and drive)

GCT’s comment about hiding double chins is …‘unfortunate’ (read: stupid) …but then again, ofcourse it is.

and i’m also curious about what a bonobo is arendt?

You guys don’t know what a bonobo is? Or you’re just curious how Arendt will answer the question?

I aren’t (I know… it should be ‘am not’) Arendt (after Hannah, I presume?)… however… if this weren’t already obvious…

A bonobo is an ape. “You are a bonobo.” —> “You are hairy like an ape.” She don’ like human males to be ‘ape-hairy’.

Want to know more about bonobos? Fascinating creatures. :slight_smile:

(sorry Arendt… you go ahead…)

If the beard fits… porky.

lets be honest… you ran a google for bonobo because you wanted to say something like that

So, as She’s link to bonobos clearly shows (thanks for that great link, She), that statement is a compliment to you. Granted that bonobos have great sexual appetite, they…you guys are way too hairy.

Besides, with all that rubbing, fondling, sucking, licking, and humping, how in the world do you find time for philosophy? Don’t get me wrong. I like the way bonobos do it, but one needs a lot of energy for that kind of…encounter.


That passage is a good read.