So i got rich from my mom’s grade school field trip. there was a fake tree which had a lock in the trunk. there were four keys, I used it to open the lock and get the rolls of money out. I gave half to my mom, then to my homies I told them there was only 100,000, so I each only gave them one hundred dollar. As we drove back home from the park the greyhound bus tipped over and exploded. I said “where am I gonna hide this money” the bank i asked hypothetical questions and they said “We need to see the source of where you got the money so we can verify” I didnt feel like putting up with that so I buried the money 3 different places.
So I went on vacation to a sports game. Obama was there they were doing a speech on how great America was. There was some girl there who rejected me even though I had lots of money. Then this guy in a black coat comes. He is short and black hair, kinda looks like someone but I can’t find a pic to show you. He says “He, where’d you get that money?” I say what? He says “This is a federal investigation.” I dont believe him so I say “Let me see your badge”. He whips out a pistol and I shoot him 7 times in the body with my saturday night special, then run away because I am out of ammo. Unlucky for me he is not dead. He is chasing me around trying to shoot me but I dodge his bullets. We are running up and down the bleachers and I still havent reloaded. It is cool like kung fu, I go on the edge of the rails and jump down to the other rails to hide, then when he is gone I jump back up again like nothing. Using the gaurdrails I float up the steps but I am losing energy. My parents are nowhere to be found. I make it to the top of the bleachers and enter a door. Only it is a dead end, entering a vacant suite. I empty my pockets but all I have is a small 2 inch knife. I have the gun clip but there are only 2 bullets. The gun is nowhere to be found. Then there is a “knock knock”. He tries to open the door, I struggle to close it and try to stab him blindly, but retract it soon so he doesnt shoot my hand. We agree to a knife fight only and he gives me his gun, but I dont trust him. I tell him…since we are both gonna die, at least tell me the truth, are you a cop or not? And he said “No you shmuck, im not a fuckin cop I just wanted the money” Then I wake up