Happy Holidays everyone! Heres some Christmas Carol lyrics

[i]You better watch out,

You better not cry

Better not pout

I’m telling you why…

Jesus Christ is coming, to earth.

He’s makin’ a list,

And sealin’ your fate!

Gonna find out who burns in the lake

Jesus Christ is coming to earth.

He knows where you are sleeping

He knows if you are gay

He knows if you are bad or good

So be good for heaven’s sake!

O! You better watch out,

You better not cry

Better not pout,

I’m telling you why…

Jesus Christ is coming, to earth

Jesus Christ is coming, to earth. [/i]

Santa: [ checking it twice ] Tsk tsk tsk. Suzie has been a bad little girl this year. Yep, she’s all yours, God. [ Rudolf’s nose goes dim. ]

Suzie: No, Santa, no!!! Mommy is an atheist! Mommy!!!

Jesus Christ, Super Star: [ Shady style: ] Guess who’s back! [ canned laughter ] Yes, “to hell” with the adults, I decided only to rapture the good little boys and girls, with a little help from Santa. Merry Christmas, Suzie, and a happy eternity in hell!

[ tear streaks down Jesus’ face, Santa pulls a sword out of his bag of goodies and tosses it over to Jesus ]

[ to Himself: if only she had believed in Me, I could have saved her ]

Suzie: [ stalling ] Uh, What’s up with that sword? That’s soo bible-times.

Jesus: Suzie is right, Santa, this sword is outdated. What else you got
in that bag of goodies…?

[ Santa pulls out an AK-47, fully automatic, tossing it over to Jesus. ]

Santa: Don’t leave home w/o it.

[ Santa covers his face with his beard and uses Rudolf as a splash-gaurd. ]

[ amidst gunfire and screaming, the title hits a screen of blood ]

CHRISTMAS MEETS JUDGMENT DAY

…if it’s not a gift under the tree, it’s an eternity in hell.

Coming to a theatre near you, Christmas 2004 [ the sound of jingle bells ]

[ lightning bolt strikes the television set ]

Booming voice of God: Gadzooks, Zeus, lightning is so 400 B.C.–we use felled electricity poles now!


. . . stole that line from Rebecca.