Has getting punched in the neck changed my life? (bullying)

Philosophy Forums Philosophy
1

I believe there is a lot of philosophy involved however.

I always had a relatively happy life, up until secondary school, where I started to get bullied.
This came to a head in Year 9, when out of nowhere the bully came up to me and punched me hard in the back of the neck.
Now I have seen a chiropractor (unsuccesfully) and am now going to another specialist who I have been referred to, who hopefully can relieve the problem, although I have been told I am probably going to have to keep the clicking/cracking in my neck.

It is this clicking/cracking which I have got ever since I got punched.
You could say that I may have got a cracking neck anyway, but I’ll never know.

Anyway, this may interest the psychology students amongst you, I hope you can help (Yes I know this is no substitute for professional help, but as I am on a long waiting list, I would appreciate help from you TSR!)…

Basically, every time my neck clicks, I get upset, thinking it shouldn’t be happening, because I didn’t deserve to get punched. This is annoying but I can live with it.
It is when I get an “extreme” case that I get upset.
Let me give you a real life example that happened recently:
Suppose I had to be on the phone for half an hour to my doctor about my neck (which I believe wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for the punch), then I missed the chance to talk to someone. (I heard them outside while I was on the phone, but when I had finished they were gone).

I then worried about this when I heard them the next day outside my room. By this I mean I hesitated and thought whether I should just burst out and talk to them or not, as we haven’t really spoken before.
It would undoubtedly have helped my confidence if we had spoken the night before, but of course I was on the phone because of my neck.

I now think of many things that “would have” happened had we spoken, but that haven’t happened.

You must be thinking: just talk to them now. Well thats the problem: I don’t think this is “the right time” and am worried that if anything goes wrong in the conversation its getting too late to call friends for support on this.

It is this chain of thought: If I never got punched, I wouldn’t have been on the phone then, we would have chatted yesterday, we could then have chatted more today, we would be on our way to becoming great friends.

that annoys me, because that is not true.
I could try and make friends today, but if it doesn’t work I will be so upset.
Its like being normally upset at someone rejecting you I guess, but with the added damage of it being because of an old bully.

I welcome you guys to challenge my thoughts, and give me good advice.

Thanks in advance

2

Hi Neck,

I know a lot of people who aren’t very good at meeting new people or making new friends. I’m not sure if you’d agree that the problem of making new friends existed before you got punched in the back of the neck. Generally it seems like bullys pick on the less popular kids, but I could be wrong on that one.

Either way, to me it seems the clicking either compounds the problem, or the clicking is an excuse for having the problem. I think the key here is you need to learn how to make new friends, unless I’m completely missing your point.

Maybe your confidence was shaken from being bullied. I’m sure it can’t do much good for your self worth. So perhaps the first building block would be to improve your self worth. I think making friends will become easier then.

Just my 2 cents.

3

This is a philosophy board, n00b.

4

If it weren’t for this neck problem I am almost certain you’d have another excuse to come up with. This neck creaking is a minor problem and one you need to learn with.

Whether or not you deserved it does not matter. Bully’s pick on useless defenseless individuals. So at that time you were that. And today you continue to be that. Stand up for yourself and take control of your life, but instead you come to whine on this board. No one cares for your personal problems and certainly I do not. You need to grow up and be a man and stop being a little baby.

You have one life and you sit here crying about it. Really is that what you want your life to be? You can’t change what’s happened but you certainly control this present moment and by taking the actions you have taken I can see you really do not care for your life at all. You care more about protecting your ego and giving yourself excuses than anything else.

5

My advice is simple…

Stop connecting the dots to the neck thing… if you veiw everything in light of “what would this have been like without my neck thing” then everything will remind you of the neck thing and through that the bully and utlimatly make you feel as if it is all so unfair… In other word’s you’re obsessing over it… relating everything to it… making it central to yourself and the way you feel about the world around you. There’s a simple solution… DONT. When-ever you find yourself thinking about the neck thing or the bully STOP… brake the habbit… move on. and if you ever see him again… kick him in the balls real hard. It’ll make you feel better and the neck thing might just get you off the hook in court. :wink:

6

These two threads have been a pain in the neck to read.

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this is actually the third thread of the same thing. i’m beginning to suspect something…

8

spam bot, spamming the web with this shit.

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now that i think about it, it is kind of fishy that someone experiencing anguish over a neck injury would demean themselves by using the name “neckclicker”.

hmmm interesting indeed…

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i’m not a spam bot, i just have problems…

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sorry again, neckclicker2.

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Back up a second folks…

Agreed, this thread and the other should be brought into as one thread; this is true.
That said, given that I’m sure this is not a bot, but a real person with a sincere seeking for help, I have only one consideration for everyone at this lofty forum of high thought.

Are we too high to help a person find a philosophical approach to life that will directly affect their lively-hood for the better?

Is everyone actually saying that they are completely OK talking about the grand designs of the age-old questions and the grand minds that have thought them; indeed through countless pages upon pages of critical examination and cross examination, but that when someone real…someone seeking a philosophy…

Someone that is actually saying, “Hey…I’m screwed up and I can’t find a way to stop looking at the world fucked up. I don’t like it, and I need help trying to find a way to look at the world in better light. Help me find a way to look at my life in better light.”

We’re actually going to sit around in all of our high thought and say to this person, “This is not a forum for helping people with troubles!”

This is a forum of philosophy…philosophies principle aim is to progress man’s betterment through the refining of perspective and thought.

Isn’t this exactly what this person has just asked for?

As to the handle of their name: This is a person that is insecure of their condition; what part of insecurity is misunderstood by everyone that makes one think that an insecure person won’t step up and make themselves a mockery before any other person can do so in the attempt to feel secure and in control?

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i think you understand me, i am very desperate, thats why i thought this forum would be good for changing my philosophy on my neck.

for example, i was on these forums posting this thread a few days ago. so i couldn’t phone someone that night because it was too late. so i phoned in the morning instead. this made everything 5 minutes later that day because of the 5 minutes i spent in the call. i then missed the chance to speak to someone who would have asked me to go to the pub. i then had to do something else, which ruined something else. the next morning i then misjudged time, turned up late for something and missed sitting next to someone who could have helped me with something.
all this, because i was posting on forums about my neck.
and why was i doing this? because the bully punched me in the neck.

help me break this chain of thought please

14

tie your shoe

-Imp

15

troll fails, troll.

16

why did you aplogoise to me then?

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If this one day comes out to be a troll, then I will recant and apologize in full to the entire board.

Until then I can only say this…

Pathetic.

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so if i’m a troll you’ll apologise, otherwise you call me pathetic?

19

Coming from Stumps, I guess he’s refering to the reaction of the other members…

20

this is a philosophy board.

if you need to base your existence from an arbitrary starting point, tie your shoe and start from there and stop worrying about it.

-Imp