Life experience and a lot of letting go (and pain) of the need for seeking approval from others.
Okay, but then what might follow, which is only my perspective - not in order to seek approval from others nor to wallow in self pity, but would you ever take a second look at what someone is saying, IF something “rang a bell”, reflect on it, in order to see if what they may be saying is “true” ? Isn’t this a part of personal growth?
Naturally, but I take this feedback within the context of specific relationships and not from every Tom, Dick and Harry (who are free to draw whatever unchallenged conclusions they wish to draw).
Kool new Av, Arc. 
Arty who?
Artimas is my Arty.