Hello...newly registered, have question

Hi there artsbells, welcome to the boards

I think you’ve raised a very interesting point with respect to people’s reactions. We immediately think that condemning people as bigots is the right thing to do and sometimes we go at it guns blazing. But what is our real motive? It would perhaps be difficult to measure how much a person really feels about a certain issue, whether it be homosexual rights or fox hunting. I can only say that personally, I will usually get involved with something I feel strongly about. I firmly believe in homosexual rights and would fight (in a verbal sense ) anyone who held the the view that “homosexuality is a sin”.

Now turning to the specific example. The Bible clearly condemns homosexuality and lesbianism specifically in Romans 1:26-27. Why then, is this Christian bride friend with the lesbian at all? Why is it ok to be friends with her when she’s not on public display, but not ok when she could be making a show of herself. This seems like the bride is having more of a conflict with her pride and reputation than with her Christian ethics. If she is friends with this lesbian, then presumably she is comfortable to be with her when they are not at weddings. Perhaps the bride is more concerned about what other people will think than what Christianity has to say about it.

Obviously I am only going on what has been posted and I wouldn’t wish to pass judgement on the bride in question. However, I cannot understand why lesbianism becomes a problem at a wedding but not in a friendship. Is there something more to this than religious morals?

Nice to have you with us artsbells

Surely it’s the bride’s personal choice whether or not a homosexual can attend her wedding and we should respect that as it is a choice that does not essentially harm anyone (except herself, perhaps)?

Perhaps she might even deserve some credit for her ability to look beyond her immediate prejudices and religious beliefs and befriend a homosexual, were it not for the clear hypocrisy of not allowing her to attend her wedding.
I think she needs to assess the nature of her own beliefs and spirituality and hopefully arrive at a more consistent (and tolerant) world view.

isn’t this more about the fact that she had a reputation for behaving inappropriately in public? - there would be a public display of something which might be offensive (rightly or wrongly) to many people there. it’s like you wouldn’t eat a ham sandwich in a synagogue even if everyone knew that you didn’t keep kosher. maybe it’s nothing to do with homophobia and much more to do with the aggressive antics of her insensitive friend.

I agree with Chloe. Besides if you had a straight friend who you truly thought was gonna chat up all the wrong people (the in-laws, the ex’s etc), then you would be awkward about inviting them too wouldn’t you?

Its her wedding, I see nothing wrong with it. She may disapprove of a lifestyle, but she is still able to have goodwill with those she disapproves of. I think people overreacted.

“The Master’s teaching is Loyalty and Forgiveness, that is all”

Any relationship is a two-way street, so while it is OK for a person to be gay (clearly the bride holds this at some level, since she is friends with the individual), it is not OK for people to take that acceptance and run wild with it by doing things like engaging in raunchy PDA.

Is their PDA more extreme than that of her straight friends? While weddings tend to me slightly more forgiving of PDA (particularly the reception), it is still a ceremonial occasion and really rauchny displays are frowned upon.

So, I guess the question has to be put into context – is the lesbian PDA more aggregious than straight PDA? If so, then it was definately OK for her to not include her friend who acts in an inappropriate manner. If not, then I would say that there is some bias lurking.

That said, homosexuals do have to accept that they are less accepted, so when in places that have cross-generational attendence, they ought tone it down a little. I’ve had fights with boyfriends over that one. There is a difference between being respectfully ‘out’ and outrageously ‘out’. Straight people who constantly re-affirm their sexuality are annoying as hell, and the same applies for gay people.

It’s all about respect.