Here I Just Argue Against Sex, But More Especially Love

Philosophy Forums Philosophy
1

Love is a straight up cruel joke of an idea. Based on my experience, it doesn’t exist other than in movies. (Tell me otherwise?)

Most girls hate to get hounded by these sex crazed dudes, understandable, but they have never known what its like to go for the one guy they really want in life when he has hundreds of other “offers”. Now she has to come up with clever ways to impress him just to prove her exaggerated worth, (it doesn’t feel geniune) with practically one first impression try at it. Put the pressure on her to do that, and she will fold. You mean they dont just flock to my beauty? Right, so hounding isn’t as bad as lesbians make it out to be. Some lesbians become masculine themselves and hate weak passive guys who had nothing to do with their justification for hating men, in the first place. Disgusted, they mimic a disgusting way of being. Burp!

These guys with confidence, they have failed so many times with their approach that they just stopped caring, started acting like a-holes, with nothing to lose, and girls saw this as a challenge! I know I’m not saying anything new, but is this how seduction should go? If so, then love starts with conflict. She wants to smooth him out, and tame him down, but conflict will always arise in their relatioship, hostile uneven unstable emotions are not pure, I dont care what the wedding photo looks like. Their love doesnt have a solid foundation. He may enter that relationship, even admit he loves her, but she was never his first choice, a choice that comes from a “meant to be” feeling. Love by default. Men dont cheat because they are unloyal cheating dogs, not all of them. Some just aren’t content with default relationships. They realize this too late, feel stuck, go elsewhere to fuck, as if variety is the cure. Variety was forced on him, second fiddle, but men lie to themselves about that, and confuse orgasm pleasure with sharing love.

Serious thing is, the guys in my youth, the confident (hiding insecurity) ones . . . they were jerks. Not surprising until I reasoned out why. They usually had a macho dad around, but more importantly most of them had older brothers who would invite girls over in front of them, and younger bro would watch his dick-like bro tease away, like bitches deserved it. Big advantage. Younger bro seemed like the fonze to girls his age, because they didn’t know about his secret viewing parties.

Raised by a single mom, I’ve been somewhat nice all my life. If I try to act like a jerk, I come off as creepy psycho. Should I feel bad about not mastering the art of being mean? Guys who get laid would tell me yeah. Just like their dads and brothers demonstrated to them. I fucking missed that fucking demo. Bitter yeah. Porn yeah. And I fucking hate porn. All these pretty girls, prettier than most women in my state, doing all this nasty shit for the money. Beauty, innocence, and love ruined.

RIght now, I got no money, no car, no job, and I dont expect to attract anyone. Except I dont know that I want to do a bunch of money status seeking shit, just to meet some chick who wouldn’t have a damn thing to do with the person I am now.

I could get the hang of being mean, get a gal in my life, but I would never call it love. I’d probably pine for the days of being alone. Yeah, the grass is greener on the other side, that grass is spray painted green.

2

You’ll find someone : :slight_smile:

To be cuttingly honest - its probably confidence thats lacking. People can fall in love with anyone - but usually not until they’ve had a chance to meet them.

Try internet dating - it has suprisingly high success rates.

3

thanks for advice

I will have to totally change my opinion of confidence. I like myself, dare I say love. But I dont think I need to make a show of it. Displays of confidence are a trick. You’re conning someone. Everybody is frail. They hide weakness. Doesn’t love deserve honesty? Seems like it in the happy ending when credits roll . . .

Seduction=Deception.
I’m confident and not interested in you = I’m insecure and not sure you’ll like me

Joke.

4

Hey aggressive Courtney, come get your Kurt.

5

I dont get it. You’re not confident unless you’re boasting. At the very least, you’re not showing a weak side of your personality. You not admitting a soft spot even exists.

It takes more courage to flaunt weakness without fear of reprocussion. Its like a proud peacock saying you cant touch my non-matching colors. Saying, I feel no threat out in the open. I dont need you to notice. But you will anyway. Do you hate that peacock because he lacks something, or because he has too much of something else, something unfamiliar? So you feel overwhelmed, intimidated, without a proper course for your domination of this unique male. Go somewhere else for safe bets. Colors that match, even hair patch, take that to the bank.

People who boast dont always love themselves, and people who wallow in weakness dont always hate themselves. I think it is the other way around, more often than not. You’d be surprised how many people loath themselves just because they think/ know how superior they are to others. Feeling guilty for being better. They bring themselves down a notch, but only because being humble becomes even more of superior attitude kick. A vicious cycle of self love. Confident people don’t automatically know that.

6

Hello nano-bug

Women love one thing no matter what they might tell you.

Drama.

When it comes to child bearing time, they love another thing.

Money.

The ‘bad guys’ usually have a monopoly on both of these things.

7

I know men who most women deem confident, and these men have admitted to me that they feel empty inside. Of course women weren’t around to hear such a confession.

Me, I got passion, full of fire, and that makes a good giving lover. But people sum up my failure with females as a lack of confidence. I think the type of confidence I have would be considered offensive. I then have to curtail that outward expression. So I let weakness float to the surface.

I must love myself, I made a thread just to post in my own thread.

Confident Male: “I got so much money, and I been all over the world . . . I bench press 500 pounds.”
Attractive Female: “Think you can take me for a spin sometime?”
Confident Male: “I’m very busy, if you’re lucky!” (Thinking: This girl is better looking than the last few, so I better not mess this up)

Yeah, I’m bitter. I have a right to be.

8

If thats the reality, thats fine. I’m just not going to rely on my ideals about it anymore. Love isn’t real. And I wont listen to people who try to reinforce these ideals, without experiencing it in my own life. I haven’t.

People say, you’ll find someone, someone for everyone, and they are just looking for me to echo their sentiments.

Hope for love, the way love should be intertwined with such lofty expectations, and you’ll be crushed by hellish disappointment.

I just want to stop expecting a damn thing from anyone. Love especially.

I love the people who stitched together my mattress, thread by thread. Or the people who made the machine stitch quicker. I’ll never know who did it, so I cant propose. But thats as far as my emotional attachment goes.

9

That is real love, yes. I know you don’t ask for my advice but oh well I will give it to you anyway. Forget about women. Rather focus yourself on the hierarchy of men that you socialize with. Women want to fuck the top dog not the little ones. So you should be the top dog or if you are not the right material for it, then you should be near to the top at least. women only see social status symbols like money or nice cars or nice shoes. That is all they look at so remember this plaese. Maybe you should buy a nicer pair of shoes. That could possibly fix everything, if you catch my meaning.

10

your advice is perfect for top dog fucking. I could aspire to all that, do all that perhaps, after intense effort.

This thread is to say that even if I did all that, love is not real here. Not the way its supposed to be, or purported to be.

I’m bitter because I’ve been too naive for too long to think it was real and was worth attaining by way of lucky social situations. "Ya never know . . .who you’ll meet, unless you try . . . ya never know . . . " Advice like that is torture desperation.

Ted Bundy thought he’d never be executed either. He’d find a loophole. Love is not loophole.

I want to erase the word love from everyday use, but since I cant, I view people who use the term in glowing admiration to be more like an enemy of my psyche. Blocking me from seeing the true picture. I dont think they do it intentionally, but they are just spewing out the rechewed ideals about brotherhood and soulmates. I dont take their word for it anymore. If you say so, doesn’t fly. It doesn’t add up. Expecting that to change is costing me pain.

I want to be one-world-one-god-universe-love whatever more than most, but people are not having that. I must now protect myself from the times when they suggest they are having that, because it misleads me from any true satisfaction. An alternative to love.

I dont know that the mattress thing is true love, it could very well be, but I am recognizing that type of love as the extent of it. The rest is just imagination at work. Fairy tales. Make a movie about factories shipping out mattresses around the world. That should make the romantic weep themselves to sleep.

11

Take the following advice very seriously my friend.

Read The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss.

What you should understand after reading the book is that courtship/love/sex are all very natural, evolutionary mechanisms.

Essentially, the whole pickup artist thing started because geeks that never picked up the social skills necessary to attract women in this day and age decided to apply their intellect to the social dynamics of picking up girls in order to understand how and why this shit works.

Using an understanding of evolutionary psychology, these people were able to implement this knowledge to gain in edge in attracting women.

Love be damned. Courtship and the process of attracting mates is a very specifically designed behavior. It is meant as a screening process for people to be selective about into whose hands they place their genetic proliferation.

Love can come afterwards. Love, at the base level, is also a natural, evolutionary mechanism designed to strengthen the bond between prospective parents in order to improve the efficiency of child rearing. But at this point in our social existence, due to the many factors that affect our intellectual development; the concept of “love” has become more than just “a mechanism to improve child rearing” and has become much more intertwined with concepts of “happiness” and social success.

But the point is, whatever “love” is now, it can only be achieved after some form of natural screening process. You have to pass that first initial test in order to have a chance at developing a more meaningful relationship. And this is where most men feel inadequate. That initial ability to attract a prospective partner.

And this is what a book like The game and other similar books can help you with. Its not deception. Whether you like it or not, that evolutionary screening mechanism is there. And it helps a ton to be able to get past it, not matter what it takes, so that something potentially more meaningful can result.

12

Will no one step up in defense of love? I should think that even the skeptics would have a stake in its survival. After all - love takes hope with her in the divorce.

Love is a headlamp, a laser spotlight on the material world. It illumines everyday moments, pulls you in and commands your goddamned attention. It draws you in nearer to the events that shape your soul. But love also is that very attention it commands. If you want something to love you, make sure to always give it more than you receive. This is the patriarchy’s worst nightmare - that consumers will recognize this secret economy of love, that it always multiplies itself in each transaction. For as you give your love to another, straining to always be the one who gives the greater share, and they struggle to do the same, it becomes a game of infinite returns. There is no end to its self-multiplication because love requires no material resource to become.

You don’t need to start with people. Start with anything in the world that is around you. Inanimate objects are acceptable. Scenes are better. Remember: Everything’s a still life in the end. There is only the moment; no past or future. Look for patterns, subtle shadows, plays of light. Take a deep breathe and remember what the world smells like here, in this experience. Gather in the textures of the environment. Try to think of everything in this world you’ve found yourself in as a toy. Everything is here for pleasure. Try and learn what pleasure lies hidden within everything you encounter. Unlock the secrets of an old rug. or a rotting apple. Don’t just let life happen to you. Explore your experiences. Become a curator of the museum of yourself. You will begin to feel love coming from the objects and scenes and experiences that you have. The love will literally beam at you, inanimate as you think they might be. And then a startling realization. They are reflecting a love that you have, and that it must mean you have begun to love yourself.

Start there, and you’ll be well on your way to seeing what love really is, cause baby that’s just phase one of the infinite lotus, but it’s not easy explaining one’s perspective to another. Let’s keep attempting to share our viewpoint as we go along.

13

I’m going to do that.

14

…or you’ll run into the jungle …scared shitless…
youtube.com/watch?v=zbW53BTtVes

15

People are capable of romantic love, its an adaptation depending upon which aspect of the chemical/neurocognitive reproductive drive you’re talking about different things can be said. Romantic love, pair bonding, and partner attachment all exist as distinct and overlapping chemical/cognitive states.

If love wasn’t real we wouldn’t find chemical/cognitive similarities between people with OCD and people in love. The obsessive characteristics of OCD are common in people madly in love, a few doses of serotonin is enough to potentially “cure” both through reducing the chemical states which create them.

Either way love is real if only because those who claim they are IN love display a biology radically different from those that aren’t. It’d be a nice trick that these correlations like brain activation patterns or chemical states could be found in one group but not the other without indicating a noteworthy cognitive difference between groups.

16

I did salvia. Transformed into the foundation of a building in new york. Sight was sideways. Breathing was not thought of.

This was not that mystical experience I expected. I would more likely say it was the opposite. It lacked anything profound.

17

True, what I described above is sort of a non-intoxicant method of experiencing the same things that hallucinogens can provide. The key word here is ‘can’, not ‘will’. I’ve had extensive experience with psychotropics (lsd, mushrooms, salvia, mescaline and various synthetics; I haven’t yet done ayahuasca but its something of a holy grail for me. I’ll make it down to Peru someday).

What you receive in the hallucinatory state operates on the same ‘economy’ I’ve described above, though with greatly increased and accelerated returns. You must first feel love to receive it back. Profundity comes in the aftermath of the vast connectivity that being in love with the whole of the universe provides. There is a fine line here which can make the difference between a good and bad trip (there are no bad shrooms, only poor intent and mindset). You must have positive intentions, but the force of your intent must be tempered with a complete relinquishment of control. These aren’t drugs you can wrestle with, you must give up control and let it take you where you need to go. Your subconscious will then ensure you see the things you need to see (which can terrify or sublimate, but either way can be cathartic, redeeming and therapeutic.

For me, salvia was by far the most intensely visual trip I’ve ever had. My field of vision had nothing within it that was physically in front of me, which is totally unlike what I’ve experienced on other drugs in which the world is altered or enhanced, but not completely transformed. That said, it was too short to pull any meaningful revelation out of it. If I had any somewhere in the middle of that 5-10 minutes it was lost in such a flood of information as to be lost when I returned to normalcy.

Mushrooms on the other hand are an epiphany machine. Regular use diminishes the ego (it’s impossible to retain the characteristics of a harmful ego when you are directly experience connectivity with the whole of all being) which in turn makes it much easier and more natural to experience this economy of giving and receiving love in one’s every day life. Much of who I am is a result of these experiences.

I concur with the method described by Terence McKenna: Take what most people would consider to be a “heroic” dose - 5-6 dried grams. If you do not, at some point, think to yourself “my god what have I done?” then you probably didn’t take enough. Then sit alone and meditate in silent darkness. You do not require the external stimulation of music or movie, trust me. It’s also best done after a moderate fast (at least 12 hours) with only fresh juices to complement. Don’t futz it up with weed or anything either - it becomes impossible to distinguish which drug is giving you which feeling. They can conflict and degenerate into baseless paranoia.

18

I can look at objects like this, before altering my mind. Its not as intense, sure, but feels like a moment of treasure if it happens on its own.

I went into the salvia with the intent of discovery, but clung hard and fast, resisting. I did not want to be a cement building block.

If anything, the idea that I was in my bedroom one second, then transported to an urban setting like Brooklyn with a Sesame Street Vibe, that was an eye opener. I did have more respect for matter. Mainly because I knew now what if felt like to be crushed by it. Crushed to fit.

19

My salvia experience:

Friends fed me the drug through a bong. After the third huff or so I was unable to control a lighter, pull the slide, etc. so I just inhaled when they told me to. I’m not sure how many hits I ended up taking, but it was likely 5 or 6.

I was kneeling or sitting on an oriental rug with a diamond crosshatch pattern. The diamonds began to shoot towards me, bouncing harmlessly off my skin but producing a noticeable sensation. They began hitting me faster and faster until the sensation of their impact approached a full-body feeling that I have difficulty describing. It’s like having the pins-and-needles feeling of a limb that’s ‘asleep’, except it affected my entire body, and the individual ‘pins’ were larger and blunter. It wasn’t exactly painful. Something like a billion fingers poking you from all sides, trying to get your attention. Then the diamonds weren’t just bouncing off, but shooting through me, leaving trails of light in their wake. I felt the light of the diamonds inside me and it made me laugh hysterically. I couldn’t tell you what was so funny about the light, but it was a source of mirth and joy. I fell through the carpet somehow, and then I was no longer in the basement of my friend’s house but some entirely new dimension. I have neither words nor memory to describe this place. All I know is that I was there for around 8 minutes of ‘real-time’ (during which my friends said I was intermittent between catatonia and laughing hysterically).

I’m glad that I did it, but it is not the sort of drug that makes you want to seek it out again. It’s sort of anti-addictive in that way.

20

At least you laughed.

There was so little funny about my trip. The moment it hit me I felt like I was being sucked down a tube, similar to the matrix mirror scene, down the electronic throat.

I’d like to hear you describe that demension.

I’m amazed at how it affects people differently.

Some people dont leave the place where they are at. My bedroom was gone. After the foundation experience, I felt like I became some big lummux marching down a city street, kind of like a Baby Huey that someone had messed with. A nice big dumb guy who got crossed and wanted revenge for something done to my brother. People were trying to calm me down from their doorstep. It had a sesame street vibe, like childlike racial okayness, but I was the wrong big bird puppet to be rubbed the wrong way.

In real life, I dont have a brother. But apparently, while tripping, my brother was the loyal blood I needed to protect. I was known around the neighborhood as just a big teddy bear dumb loaf. Then I was a monster going down the street, and everybody recognized my tipping point. Lenny from mice and men.