Lately, when positive events happen to me, the effects have been unusual. When I get complements and attention from friends and strangers, my immediate reaction is to think that they must be joking or pitying me. When I get to spend time with people that I am very affectionate for, I find myself feeling depressed and worthless, even though logic tells me that people are enjoying my presence. It’s as if my emotions will not match up with the events in my life.
I was wondering if this happened to any of you and if you had any advice regarding the issue. Thank you!
In my mid teens, yes, but the feeling you mentioned fizzled out in my late teens - I learned that others wouldn’t want to be around you: if they didn’t like you / why would they: when they could be else where…
It sounds like you have a incongruence between your real and ideal self. You are not living up to your own expectations and view yourself as worthless. When other people hang out with you perhaps you feel that you are not worthy of their companionship and even feel that you may be deceiving them. Just start accepting yourself for who you are, and don’t try to live up to unattainable societal conditions of worth. If you are using drugs or alcohol trying giving them a break for a while, or at least cut back. Drugs effect everybody’s emotions and moods differently, you could be having an adverse reaction to a substance. Also try looking back to before you started having this problem. Has anything in your life changed since then that could have brought about this change?
Thank you! I appreciate your thoughts. Of course I have considered that drugs might be worsening the situation, but it seems so hard to stop. When I feel escpecially low, I always want to numb the feelings with drugs. When I do come across some happy feelings, I just feel like I should celebrate. There has been a lot of changes that happened since I’ve started feeling this way. I started going to college, which resulted in a debauchery of new routines.
Thanks again.
Alot of my kids at school do this, its normally a self estime issue. If you think this might be true I suggest that you find things about yourself that you love, because otherwise whatever anyone else says will sound like a lie
From what you said, it sounds like you are somewhat diffident. My advice would be to read “The Wisdom of Insecurity” by Allan Watts. It suggests that intelligent people are often neurotic among many other things.
With some exceptions, I have come to suspect that the damage done by drugs is all in your head-- I mean your mind. My experience has been that doing drugs in a place where there is no fear of arrest during purchace or use, and where society around one does not shame the activity makes a big difference; a fair part of the mental damage done by drugs seems to me to be due to paranoid and guilt feelings caused by a normal reaction to a hostile environment; it would not be abnormal for a drug user to feel afraid for their safety in a place where they are liable to be arrested for their activities; also when the whole environment is warning against (exadurated) health dangers, one is also apt to feel poorly; the guilt feelings, paranoia, and even (suggested-)memory loss I think are all often part of the hostile environment and not the drugs. When the mind feels comfortable where and what it is doing the whole self feels better and the mind also becomes quicker and more intelligent.
Recently I had a rather bad health problem which led to unpleasant surgery and a week in hospital. I’ll tell you, every time something good happens or even I remember that I don’t have a tube through my rib-cage makes me want to celebrate too. Celebrate all you like is my advice. It could be a sort of euphoria and expansiveness caused by a tiny ray of happiness in an otherwise dark time; but then so be it. I recall several years ago when I was homeless and penniless for some time, I would get euphoric over a decent meal or someone offering me a cigarette or even just a smile.
I’ve felt that way before too because I’ve never really been honestly told what people think of me, and receiving compliments I wouldn’t know initially how to react. And this suspicion of others builds in me because my father was always cynical about people and my friends and wondering if they were being real with me. I guess the truth is a lot of people don’t tell you what they think of you all the time because of that fear of being too critical or maybe even feeling like their thoughts of you don’t have enough merit to even be said so people just let it pass by
I don’t know why I feel like I can’t enjoy myself when I spend time with certain people either though sometimes. Only sometimes, though. But maybe because there are mood swings or something. But I’ve been trying to fight that feeling of “not feeling up to talk” because life’s too short to let it pass by, is what my mind tells me
