how would you understand the world if time went backwards?

Imagine you’re on an Earth where time goes backwards. What would you see and what would you make of it?

Here are some things I would notice:

  1. Sometimes a mass of glass pieces will assemble itself into a bottle and fly up into the hand of a person. The bottle pieces always have the person’s fingerprints on it before it flies into their hand. So fingerprints exert some kind of enormous attractive force that welds glass together and makes bottles fly into the air until the fingers and fingerprints match up perfectly. Fingerprints long to be whole and matched up to the hands of the unique person they were destined for.

  2. Poop would divert itself from rivers, into sewers, into people’s personal plumbing, into their toilets, and then it would fly straight up their butts. Strangely, the poop that goes into your butt will have the same unique collection of microorganisms and chemicals that your body has. From this we infer that poop likes to find the butts of people with similar microorganisms inside them.

  3. After the poop came into our butts it would come out of our mouths as potato chips. We would place the chips in a bag and seal the bag by pushing the edges together or gluing them together with scissors. We would then put that bag in another bag, put that bag in the car, and drive our cars to the store (facing in the opposite direction as we were headed). Then we would put the bag on a grocery store shelf next to a line of similar bags, and as we took our hands off the bag we would remove our fingerprints and any trace that we had ever touched the bag. Another evidence of the strange power of fingerprints…

  4. People use pencils to remove elaborate markings from sheets of paper. You tend to do this a lot at a desk near the end of your life, before you are shoved up a woman’s vagina and gradually shrink into oblivion.

emit ssiws ni


:laughing: I needed that.