My music is not as good as Mozart. I am physically weaker than mozart. At most I can make cool sounding videogame music. That is all. I cannot even get the instruments to sound like actual symphonies. I do not have the energy or the patience to write out all of the notes and map out all of the instruments like mozart did. Sometimes I can’t even get a chord to sound right. At most, I can get my music to sound “cool” like the russian composers, but not sublime and ornate like mozart. Also, I noticed that when I try to make music like mozart, my head enters a dark place, and I remember bad things. Therefore I only make “cool” music, because I lack the strength to make sublime and ornate music like mozart. The world will never get to hear the beautiful symphonies I have in my head, because I lack the skill and the strength to put them on paper. I suck.
Also, my free energy device requires capacitors. I cannot get it to work without capacitors, which means I failed my original dream of a free energy device requiring no electric assembly. I am a fraud, and a failure. No wonder nobody likes me.
Ever think to sit down and write an awesom SciFi series?
No, no and no.
First of all nobody (or very, very few) are as neurologically fine tuned for music as Mozart. Mozart was not just a matter of a person becoming a great musician and composer but a person who was hardwired to be able to do so very quickly in life. So stop comparing yourself to him because it’s unfair to you. Mozart was retarded… the good kind of retarded. You are the bad kind of retarded.
I’m totally kidding; obviously I had to say that after what I just about Mozart if I wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to make a funny. I did, so I did.
Second, the stuff you are working with isn’t going to give you any other sound, so everything you write is going to be a casio keyboard greatest hit. That’s your problem. You are being limited by what is available to you. I know all about those keyboards because I’ve had a few. No matter what you do you always know you did it on that keyboard because it sounds like it came from a keyboard.
You clearly are musically competent, so you’d be able to create interesting stuff if you had access to other means… instruments, synthesizers of various sorts, percussion, etc.
Yes but I lack the patience and will power because I suck. Not to mention, it is a challenge for me to make friends in real life, so how would I get someone to read the script and to produce the series? Whenever I think about such things, I get the feeling that it is a waste of time, like making youtube videos that only 50 people will watch. I used to make high quality youtube videos, but noone ever watched them. Meanwhile, crappy Nikki Minaj songs get 50 million hits. Why do I even bother?
It’s not just that, but I dont have the patience and will power to go to musical school. I am an instant gratification being, I want the symphonies in my head to be written down immediately. By the time I graduate I will have forgotten them, so the entire thing would have been pointless. The symphonies I would have at that point, would not be my own, but influenced by the schools, and therefore the quality would surely be degenerate.
My dear Trixie,
You have potential, but your lethargy is very severe.
We had some nice conversations via Skype. I know you are intelligent.
But you are depressed, because you struggle to find or maintain relationships
with significant others. You are lonely.
You have the will power to get yourself out of depression and in the
habit of a healthy mentality.
My advice: get angry, angry at yourself.
Anger is a fire, fuel that can be used for self-improvement.
Be more harsh with yourself. You can make it out, babe.
My lethargy may be, chemically, severe, but it is not teleogically severe. What I mean by this, is I have actually done more achievements than the average person. The average person may have more energy than me, yet they devote it to pointless pursuits, whereas I actually devote it to achievements.
For instance, I have made some good youtube videos, but through no fault of my own they don’t get any views. So I put in the work, but get no return. How can I be blamed for that?
Another example is a free energy device. If I was less lethargic, I could have possibly made it faster than I am now.
But on the other hand…most people are not even bothering to make a free energy device. I may be the tortoise, with the mentality of the hare, but they are not even the tortoise or the hare, they are the other truck from big rics racing, not even moving.
You are creative, I enjoyed your music.
I think that your inner pain and suffering, though detrimental in general, also leads you
to be more artistic. I believe this about many artists, that they are fundamentally melancholics,
that their art is the result of their suffering.
I’m a decent artist, because I had a difficult time verbally expressing myself as a child; had hearing
problems, had to get tubes surgically placed in my ears. As a result, I would express myself with drawings.
If I was feeling sad, I would draw pictures of frowning faces and show my parents.
I like the idea of the free-energy device, more so than the DNA machine.
You have the creative mind, Trix; just need the damn gasoline!
If Fluttershy was a futa, she would have all the gasoline I need.
My little pony speak, right? Lost me haha
Google is the ally of the brave.
Look, Trixie, You ain’t no fraud, for starters. You are like a lot of us here, starving artists, we are very very impressionistic, and I mean that in the bad way.
The flip side of being sooooooooimpressionable, because the two terms have a lot in common, is,
&hi hate tu use the term: autistic. We can not express our impressions, as if we may be stifled in some way. It is a block which is like a reverse feedback system.
I feel that we have lots of kinship , but one thing I am as sure as , as I am typing this, that no way are You fraud. I think in a sense it’s easier to admit one is a fraud, then honestly face the awful consequences of an unrequited talent. I too listened to Your music, and I disagree, that it’s more like Cassio type feel good music. I don’t think it’s important what instrument it comes out of.
I talked to my cousin Andris in Hungary this summer, who is, and I unashamedly admit, he is a famous artist there, and he asked me if I am happy or not.
'What’s happiness", I replied, and I followed it with saying, that I thought the happy artists are those, who can express themselves.
But don’t give up, I told myself candidly, I have proved on many occasion, here on these boards, or at least tried to, that if the basic requirement of being honest with Yourself is met, that vis, even if, your are is of yet unexpressed, your potential talent will enable You to see things with a different eye, through an artistic looking glass.
Now comes the hard part. This state, is difficult, because rArtistic, unexpressed ways, if not legitimized by some portfolio or other, can reduce artists of this caliber to positions of assuming roles such as criticism, and appraisal, however, some can not even gain entry here.
From my way of looking at it, the belief in a soul, assures some peace of mind , because, I firmly believe in a higher consciousness, which is able to transcend the confusions arising out of perceptions of a multitude of phenomena.
That is the acid test, that without portfolio, to be able to withstand the in rush of unbridled, and unauthentic acted productions of various types, sets those apart, from others who defensively place blinders, to block any unusual sense-data from creating a weird phenomenal montage.
If, You can live with visual distortions, then You are half way there, and only worry about what others see in You, may have effect in a negative way. No need to compare with Mozart here, had not he been able to go through this, he should have gone the route of utter unexpressed talents.
Go through the storm, if You are Rider through the Storm, don’t let fear take hold, and it will go ok.
Later
Age difference, I meant books not film.