I don't get it...

Social Forums Non-Philosophical Chat
1

I’ve gone the past week and a half without talking to her and I’ve been the happiest I’ve ever been but today I finally call her up and I’m depressed again.

How am I supposed to love someone that makes me miserable? I just love these extended periods of time where I’m away from her and I hate it. And I love that I hate being around her. I’m going to end up ruining our friendship because I’m going to end up pushing her away. But it’s either that or I get too close and she has to push me away. And to tell you the truth, the feeling of her pushing me away is a whole lot worse.

What can I do? I’m best friends with a person who makes me miserable because I can’t have more of her. And it’s nobody’s fault. Not even mine. It’s just the way it goes. And it’s times like these that I wish I believed in a God so I could have somebody to blame. Because believe me, I have a lot of pent up aggression and absolutely no one to dump it on. At least no one of guilt. And I have too much of a contrived notion of justice beat into my skull from living in this fucking society that I could never lash out on anybody without feeling horrible about it.

Oh, I know what they call this: the nice guy syndrome. Nice guys finish last, yaddi-yaddi-yadda. Here’s a challenge, show me one asshole who is happy. Not successful; there are plenty of successful asshole. But one who is genuinely happy with their lives and who they are. For that matter, show me anybody who is genuinely happy with their lives and who they are.

I try to look to philosophy for not answers–God no, not answers–,but for approaches to this thing called life. And there are plenty out there and they all have conclusions telling to keep a stiff upper lip, there’s no use in crying, the will to power, existence precedes essence, eternal recurrence. Live your life with valiance and virtue and nobility and pride and individuality and authenticity.

But it’s hard. It’s real hard.

2

Oh my goodness.

3

gird your loins

-Imp

4

The problem with this is that we are different people every moment. One moment we might be happy, another moment we might be hungry, another might find is sad… We are not one-size-fits-all smiley or frown faces. We are the complete spectrum of humanity and different from moment to moment. Some times we are blissfully happy, others… What you seem to be looking for is some steady state that is pain free and comfortable. Life, evolution, doesn’t work like that.
If you don’t like the feelings that you are experiencing at the moment, wait a bit and they will be different. If you like them, and try to attach to the smiley moments, they, too, will pass, leaving suffering in their wake…
‘Happy’ people do not run from one feeling/moment or run to another, we accept what is as what is, non-judgementally; pain and/or pleasure, love, hate, whatever… all happening and passing. That is the ‘flow’, vainly (ego/pride) fighting it is the mother of suffering.
Learn to enjoy life rather than discriminating it into little piles (poles) of ‘happy’ and ‘sad’, ‘love’ and ‘hate’… Dashing toward one/ running from another…
But, some are quite ‘happy’ with the angst and the drama…
(Not like you have any ‘choice’ in the matter. what is, is!)

In the meantime, enjoy the moment (whatever it brings)…

5

I’m the happiest asshole in the world.

6

Sounds like you’re a romantic masochist. I can’t give you any advice, if that’s what you are even asking; I only hope that you will be able to use this to learn about yourself.

7

Sure, but you have to admit that some people have more equilibrium in their lives. For that matter, you have to admit that people experience more happiness than others and there is the problem. It’s the contrast between the haves and have-nots. It’s not having versus not having; it’s the difference between the two. It’s being bombarded from day to day that what things you might appreciate and value and find contentment in on your own mean absolutely nothing in the real word. It’s a sort of jealousy, really.

I’m goth… oh, erm, excuse me: emo. :banana-dance:

8

I’d recommend sitting alone doing drugs and listening to eminem’s first album until you know how to deal with this lady.

9

I’m not the biggest EMINEM fan, but shit, I’ll try anything.

My preferred method: smoking a bunch of chronic from my brand new vaporizer, turning all the lights off, and listening to either Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue, Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon, or David Bowie’s Hunky Dory. Music cures all. That and reefer. :wink:

10

Dude do you listen to any thelonius monk? Or do you have a track with miles davis and cannonball alderly called “autumn leaves”?

11

No, never heard of Thelonius Monk. Is he good? And all I have of Miles is Kind of Blue. What I want is Bitches Brew.

Other than him, I love Coltrane, Mingus, Parker, and Gillespie.

12

Bitches brew is the shit. Coltrane is good too. If you like miles davis, you like thelonius monk. Look for “blue monk” or “monk’s dream” or uh…any of them really.

13

Sweet, thanks suggestion, man.

What other types of music do you like?

14

Everything except country and techno.

15

I’m actually getting into techno. Granted it’s got a heavy hip-hop/industrial metal slant, but it’s still electronic. It’s like metal, there’s a great deal of meat to be had once you get past the moronic fanbase and media-whores.

I think the best way to sum me up musically is one word: MELVINS. Bar none they are the greatest collective musical endeavor of all time. Detractors of that statement can die. Or at least experience a certain amount of discomfort in knowing that you dislike an amazing band. I also like black metal a lot, which seems weird consider how I’ll be listening The Beatles’ Come Together one minute and then Bathory’s It’s a Fine Day to Die the next. Quite a contrast in mood, believe me.

16

And?

No, I don’t think that I have to admit that.
For all we know, there can be a balance of emotional content, that for there to be anything on the one side of your ‘zero point’, there must be the equivalent on the opposite side. I find that the ‘highs’ in my life seem to match the ‘lows’ (‘highs’ in the other direction), like a sine-wave. Others might well have the same ‘sine-wave’ of emotion/feelings but of differing amplitudes.

“The well from which springs your joy once flowed with tears”

“There are places in the heart that do not exist. Pain must be that they might be!”

“A word is not a Word until it’s Spoken; a heart is not a Heart until it’s Broken!” -Book of Fudd

And the difference in our ‘emotional content’ is predicted in that we are all unique Perspectives. We are not redundant in that we both exist. This is NOT a problem, yet, that I can see; this is what is!

How can there be existence without contrast? There cannot be existence without contrast, context! All are necessary; the happy, the miserable and those of every other possibility! The complete definition of the universe, at the moment of definition, is the sum total of all Perspectives (us). All variations are equally inherent in the universe. None are ‘wrong’.
And yes, Dorothy, sometimes we hurt, but that is not necessarily a ‘bad’ thing…
From one Perspective;

The Great Master Bodhi-dharma’s Teaching on the Two Enterings and the Four Practices says;

“Now, though I do no wrong, I’m punished by my past. Neither gods nor men can foresee when an evil deed will bear its fruit. I accept it with an open heart and without complaint of injustice. The sutras say " when you meet with adversity don’t be upset because it makes sense.” With such understanding you’re in harmony with reason. And by suffering injustice you enter the Path."

Your ‘world’ IS the ‘real world’, for you, as much as anyone’s is for them! And the unique reality that we perceive that is the moment for us is, moment a’ moment, the only ‘reality’ anyone can ‘know/perceive’.
The complete universe, of the moment of perception, is the sum total of all Perspectives!

17

I’ve seen the Melvins.
She sounds nicer than the last woman I was serious about.

18

Get some Sonny Rollins. Then Go Out and Fuck Ten Other Women.

19

Well, my husband suffered through what you do. It worked out for him. You have two choices really, either remain friends and move on to searching for a real mate, or convert her to wanting to be your mate. My husband did the latter.

20

Dear God, man! I’ve never been able to see them! The only chance I had earlier this year was the same weekend I was taking my ACTs.

Yeah, she’s quite a gal. A bit reckless, but I like reckless people; I think my calmness offsets their anxieties.