I don’t have “style” you say?
I’ve got “no fashion sense”?
I have no need for tight tanktops
I don’t go the gym or a tanning salon.
I’m confused as to why you need that belt when your jeans are too tight.
Right.
Style.
You know what would REALLY be stylish?
Unique?
No need to get angry at those who are biting your style?
Take off that belt,
The pants are fine, take it off.
Throw it here.
Take this mint-flavored floss,
Pull it out
move it through each loop
and tie it in the front.
Now I’m going to take your belt,
Spray paint it pink
And on the front I’ll write:
“I am right”
Exclamation point!
Okay
There you go
Put it on.
You don’t want to?
Well I think it’s stupid… and I have no fashion sens-
There we go.
NOW, you are stylish!
BUT
You may not be on top for long SO
Let’s add some colorful feathers to your headband
Turn off the lights
And you sit down
And just bang a simple rhythm on these bongos until you’re able to communicate with your drunken muses.
They’ll give you the power to discover such wonderful styles, such unique color configurations.
They will teach you a power stance and a power walk
And if you use them
Daily
You will acquire the most MAGICAL powers!
And then
When they leave
You can use your floss belt!
Yeah! How practical is that?!
You lean down,
Come on you’re limber—yoga, boardwalk.
And you remove what’s in between the reeking teeth of that foaming mouth.
Because you’ll have to eat these plants beforehand.