I think this girl is attempting to seduce me...

OK, I have a problem and I need your help.

When I was in high school, I really lusted after only a couple of girls. I didn’t make any moves or anything like that, because I was socially inept at the time (and still am of course). With one of the girls, it was more clear that we liked each other, since we had an accounting class together my senior year. I even took her out to a restaurant once and a movie once. However, during my freshmen year of college, I lost touch with her, because I was dating my (now) ex-girlfriend. The last time I saw this girl from my hometown was years ago when I stopped by to visit my parents. My ex was with me at the time and when I saw this girl at the store, I went up to her and hugged her, because I didn’t think anything of it. That was the last I saw of her.

Out of nowhere, within this last week, she returns one of my emails. We have not really kept in touch over the last several years, except maybe one word every couple years or so. Anyway, a several months ago she got married and I knew vaguely about it. Now, she sends me an email and hints that she wants to see me. My first reaction was that I replied and told her to call me. Then, I emailed her again and talked with her and she gave me her phone number. I talked with her on the phone tonight and a few interesting things came up during our conversation:

  1. she mentioned the last time we saw each other (when I was with my ex) and how my ex looked at her with jealousy when I hugged her.

  2. she mentioned that she doesn’t want to have kids – before – she went on to mention that “her husband” has family in our hometown.

  3. she mentioned explicitly: “If you are in town (where she lives now), call me!”

I think she wants me to have sex with her or something. I can’t think of any other reason why she would say and do these things.

However, because I am so superficially moral and self-righteous, I don’t think I should go through with messing around with her, because she is married. It’s basically an Injustice to prey upon another man’s wife. However, I consider that maybe she did make a mistake in marrying him. Who am I to say? Maybe she just wants to have sex with me and have her husband support her financially? I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to know.

What do you think/feel I should do? I am seriously considering going to see her, but if I do, then I know I am going to want to fuck her brains out. That’s probably not going to be good for either of us, unless I don’t have any morals. If I am immoral, then it will be good for both of us. What the fuck should I do?

P.S. I get the impression from her that she feels desperate for marrying the wrong guy, or, just making the wrong decision to get married, by the way.

Leave the married ones alone, period. It just isn’t worth the trouble.

You have no game.

There’s nothing wrong in keeping in touch with an old friend. By email. Email is good. You might try IMing. But I would wait a while before I put myself in the position to violate the sanctity of marriage.

For lack of a better term.

My sentiments exactly; I should stay out of this sorted-affair. I imagine she just has the post-marital jitters, where she wants to claw her way out of inevitability: divorce or hell.

Well, sure- no harm in an email. Just don’t attach any photos of your cock or anything.

Awwwww, you really think I shouldn’t?

These things can get very messy very fast. I speak from experience.

For one thing, she may be looking for an excuse to end it - which can be awkward.

For another, she may be looking for a safe place to land - which can be awkward.

For a third, he might catch you and kill you.

Which might be very awkward.

Is she really hot?

Because, you know, there are exceptions.

I jest.

Are you sure she just doesn’t want you over for tea and scones on the veranda?

It sounds to me more like she is the predator and you are the prey, I mean, she is the one giving you the open invitation.

Not good for either of you? You’re a good looking guy, is she unattractive?

If she chooses to cheat on her husband, she is the one with loose morals. Trust me, if an e-mail after a couple of years time is enough to get her juices flowing to the extent that she is giving you an open invitation, if it is not you it would be someone else anyway sooner or later.

Maybe she just doesn’t think he has the goods in the sack, she may be in love with him otherwise.

My analysis: If she’s still attractive and you want to tap it, tap it, you are not the one doing anything wrong. You are a single man who is having sex with a willing participant of appropriate age.

Yeah, but you don’t have to be wrong for things to go bad.

I love scones, though.

This is a tough one.

She is very hot.

Things may well go bad, but they may go good also. There is the remote possibility that Unreasonable and herself are actually destined to be together forever and always. (Cue Celine Dion’s, “My Heart Will Go On.”)

It’s Cyrenaic Hedonism time!!!

(You know I pulled that one out of my ass!)

That gets a: :laughing: .

There are lots of unattached fish in the sea. For the me it’s a jigger of the Golden Rule mixed with a carafe of common sense.

Do Unto Others…

If my wife was going to cheat on me I rather it be sooner than later.

The very fact that this guy’s wife is willing to stray with someone that she has not spoken to in years says much about her opinion of their marriage.

In fact, I think it would be very altruistic of Unreasonable to partake in sexual relations with this woman and tell her husband directly, thus exposing the charade they refer to as a marriage for what it really is.

I think that if I were the husband in this situation, I would thank Unreasonable, maybe even buy him a tie for Christmas.

Given the circumstances, I am inclined to believe that if not with Unreasonable, it will be with someone else anyway.

Although, Unreasonable, I would not pursue a serious relationship with this woman, the fact that she is willing to cheat on her husband speaks volumes about her character.

Let it be someone else that fucks her, then. It can be someone else who gets shot by a jealous husband! Guys, listen- a piece of ass is never worth that much drama! There are lots of single women he can nail.

Her and I have somewhat of a history that I would enjoy to look back favorably upon.

She counts as really the one of two women in my life that have treated me well. – my ex being the other.

I agree with you completely, but we are looking at it from a standpoint of just nailing someone. Perhaps this individual means more to the Don of Anti-Reasonableness than that.

I’m a married man, myself, I never would cheat on my wife.

The point I am driving at is that it is the Cheater who is always wrong, at least in my opinion.

Does that make Unreasonable right, no. However, I would not consider him wrong, either.

Well fuck, you’re going to make this hard on me aren’t-chya?

Well, a fuck is one thing- if you wanna have a relationship with her that’s even worse! Can you say B-A-G-G-A-G-E? If she leaves her husband, the next guy is the Rebound Guy. If that’s enough, go for it. Bound to be a train wreck, though. Better to remember her fondly.

Of course, that’s not a hard-and-fast rule; it depends on her current state of mind.