I’m baffled by inability to change my situation.
And I dont know whether to get angry or laugh.
If I cant have a female in my life, then I’m not going to pleasure myself anymore to porn. I’m not going to toture myself like that.
If I cant write a publishable story, then I’m not going to give my efforts over to reading people who have published fiction.
My dreams are dying hard.
My potential is being wasted.
I dont want pity. I just want to better understand my situation.
It won’t ever be given. You need to take it.
Kev,
The point you become a loser is the point at which you buy the proposition that you are.
Life is full of opposition and misses. I’m convinced the opposition and misses aren’t really the issue–it’s what you do WITH the opposition and misses that is.
I just read by Kant:
If adversity and hopeless sorrow have completely taken away the relish for life; if the unfortunate one, strong in mind, indignant at his fate, rather than desponding or dejected wishes for death, and yet preserves his life without loving it–not from inclination or fear but from duty–then his maxim has moral worth.
I’m making this my loser’s motto. I still love myself.
theres a famous saying that says:
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
whether you believe in God or not, theres a fundimental idea that’s very valuable. Your priorities need to be set in what you can do, and not in what can be done to you.
in both situations mentioned, you have a significant part and opportunity to make a difference, but it’s not all up to you to bring about your wanted outcomes.
stuff happens, move on, work harder, and accept the difficulties that are life.
I don’t know if that helps or not, but I’m desperate to talk.
Have you read Spinoza? He has changed my life in the most surprising, and powerful ways. I began to look around me lately at a social gathering, and I took stock on how I have brought about change within the people whom I am closest to. It was almost scary for a moment when a thought arose “who am I to bring about such change?” But I remained aware, saw the joy around me, and realised this thought was limiting, and thus had a diminishing effect on my power, and since what is most important to man is man, it would have a diminishing effect on the group who surrounded me. When the power of the affects become formalized the change that one can bring about is truely amazing.
Here is a link to deleuze on spinoza
http://www.goldsmiths.ac.uk/csisp/PDF/deluze_spinoza_affect.pdf#search="deleuze%20spinoza%20pdf"
There is a saying “Those who lose dreaming are lost.” Of all things try not to lose that, use the adversity to fuel your passion. Keep reading because that makes better writers and keep submitting your stories–someone will respond to your writing style because as they say–There’s an ass for every seat.
Most women that I know are drawn to guys who are ambitious, creative, and motivated, so if you are wrapped up in what you’re doing in your life a woman will notice eventually and be impressed.
Undermine the “reason” behind the self-sabatoge, kev. =D>
I’ll check him out more, than I have. I like that he is a relativist and believes nothing is good or bad in itself. thanks for the linkage.
Even though my dreams are quite dead, the ghost of them wakes me in the middle of the night, and the ambition burns my heart with the want for success and recognition. I cant shake my dreams if I tried, but my effort lacks concentration and composure. I think females should be impressed by me now, before any such claim to fame. Now, not then. Otherwise its not worth it for me, because I’ll never now the true reason behind her affection.
You got a good point there and you are right, some women just aren’t good women and the ones who can’t stick by someone when they’re down or in a slump aren’t worth anything. But what often attracts women is the spirit behind the motivation. Whatever is waking you up in the middle of the night, if you can hold onto it within yourself-- that energy will be felt. Not to sound trippy or hippy just can’t verbalize what I mean well. Clearly, from what you just said the passion and dreams are still there it may just be a matter of waiting out time for a little bit.
You are welcome. Enjoy reading Spinoza.
Well, Kev…
You’ve finally arrived. Good for you - you feel like shit----->now you are part of the human race. You are far from a loser and what you need to come to terms with is - WHY - you write. Write for the joy of it. Write because you love it not for purposes of publishing – i.e. grandeur. We all have illusions of grandeur, but the people who are the most fulfilled are the ones who just DO what they love. You were put on this Earth with gifts… now get out there and find them. I bet you already know what they are, don’t you? Of course you do. Be your authentic self and promise me this:
“Live the life you’ve always imagined.” -Henry David Thoreau -
Play an instrument because you love to do it not because you want a Grammy for godsakes. When you become satisfied with that aspect of yourself, a woman will fall hard for you. Women want a man who is passionate. Be who you really want to be and she will find YOU.
In the meantime - give your body pleasure and quit the guilt on that one. Pleasure is not a bad thing unless your penis is ready to fall off from over-use.
Knock yourself out, hon.
Travel somewhere, you don’t even need money. Work enough to buy the flight ticket and land somewhere exotic and dangerous. Very quickly, you will regain your passion for life. The real problem you have is that you have everything far too cozy right now.
you’re so right, about the cozy part.
Data
Loser
Data
Data
Inspired by Mary Schmich.
Baz Luhrmann - Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own…
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it will
look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…
Data
Reread the previous data.
Portent
A person may be a loser or they may not be half the loser that they think they are. Learning to enjoy being a loser can transform the situation, but a loser will never figure that out.
haha, bessy, thanks for the permission and the adivce.
I am 47 and have been around the block more
then once. There are some days even now, I feel the
exact same way. But because I am older, I have learned
emotions, feelings, passions are transitory. You cannot hang
your own self worth on such “here today, gone in 5 minutes”
feelings. My wife and I are really different people. she cares,
I mean really cares what people think of here, but she doesn’t
listen to her inner voice as to what it says, whereas I don’t give
a rats ass what anybody thinks of me, but I listen to my
inner voice. Regardless of what anybody thinks of me, I only
listen to my inner voice. I know who I am. I can’t do many
things, add subtract, in fact I can’t do any math of any kind.
I know this and I can live with this. My self worth is not based
on this. My self worth is based on what I can do.
I play to my strengths. Understand yourself and find your strengths
and play to those. Work with your strengths, not your weakness.
Kropotkin
Data
Portent
When you travel and try different experiences they can be spoiled because you “the loser” are there to ruin them. This can even occur while you are alone.
Learn to enjoy everything that happens and everything about yourself. Enjoy the times when you are a loser.
If the portent is followed, then you will have a more enjoyable time than the majority of humans.
Meditate on the beliefs which fuel your emotions, because these are the things which initiate action.