That’s it. I can’t rationalize anymore. Philosophy impaired my thinking. I know so many ideas that i can’t just make one sensible simple system. Whenever i see or feel something, i try to explain it to myself. Why did that happen, why in this way, why at all. Where’s this world/universe is going. What is progress. Why there’s progress at all. Matter is energy and evertyhing what’s happening is just transformation of energy. But why this system is so difficult to understand. I can’t believe the rule behind it is so difficult. I feel it should be something simple, so simple and brilliant it should explain everything but then despair tells me that i’m never going to find out it. I’m stuck whenever i try to think about it. There are too many similarities in this world. Ever thought how acts bumping ball and electromagnetic waves? Why almost always there’s two poles and they try to become a neutral balance. What is consciousness? How can i put everything in one logical and simple system. What is logic at all? Why logic is like how we know it.
I’m stuck. I can’t find the answer, i look at things differently than others. I try to rationalize what i see/feel but it just gets me nowhere. It’s really depressing, it feel empty inside.