Here’s something I wrote a year or two ago, I’d say about 50% of it is still the way I think now. Amazing to see how much your outlook on life can change in such a short time. Anyway, I’d appreciate any comments… Oh and it’s still largely a rough draft… so beware…
we are not only here to learn
not just for the progress of the soul
we also came here to gain an identity
before now, each one of us identical
a factory line of life, beyond earths door
our environment shapes us,
molds us to something new
though we remain one
you are a product of your environment
you conform to your surroundings
it forever turns us to evil things
holy things, righteous things
you may have a freedom of choice
but maybe freedom from choice is what you want
see i’m dead in my head, from my creator
in this painted life, just wanted peace of mind
sanctuary… i’ll never find
these things make me feel alive
the pain, the split second clarity of hindsight
hell below me, no sky above me
a snake hisses its old familiar song
i drink in my mortality
never to quench my thirst
this is the only way
man has no power over the creator
it’s the only way
no recollection of where we came
it’s the only way
life feeds on life
the only way
chaos to order
there is no other way
hisses, teases, drags me back down
i must ascend, kill the ego
enlightenment is just ahead of me
but my creator waits on the edge of the sun
swims in the deep blue sky
laughs while i cry
sets the controls to the universe
and the aching eye on the satellite
passes me by
then saturn ascends, throws me back down again
so i laugh with him, then i scream
this is necessary
these emotions make me feel alive
insecure, i embrace them
and i play his game
one and one is one so i play his game
i sit, and i laugh, and I cry, pretend it will be over soon
nothing matters right? life is temporary
this is a test, this is only a test
if this were an actual life
you would be instructed where to go and what to do
and all this pain is an illusion
life must end, and we must die
eternal life = meaningless
nothing to live for when you live forever