Intellectual Whores

Philosophy Forums Psychology and Mind
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But wouldn’t an emotionally secure, sane man say “alright, this person is smart and hot and I would do them in a second but it apparently isn’t happening so I’ll just get over it and get those particular needs met from someone who will.”?

My post was in referance to a situation in which both parties are aware sex shall not be had. I assumed thats what the whole thread was about. I still do.

I still believe it is every bit achieveable to have sexual tensions with someone and maturely deal with them. Yes, it can be rather difficult, but thus is life. I’m sure we’ve all handled situations more difficult than a little unrequited lust with someone who is still interesting. It’s nothing to become unreasonably bitter about unless you were told you were going to get some, and didn’t. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect a mature response from a mature man.

I’m not completely nieve. I’ve experianced relationships with men who could and could not deal with sexual tensions when their feelings were unrequited. I’m just saying that the one’s who couldn’t deal are pretty dumb to go bemoaning the cruel cruel world and their being taken advantage of because their feelings were unrequited.

Feel down for a half hour, then go get drunk and find the next womanly adventure. Thats what single-and-looking status is for.

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I think you’re being gender bias.

I’ve known more women to stalk/harass/follow/sweat men who were once just friends than I’ve known men to.

The problem arises when a man fills the role that is not being filled elsewhere. For instance, I have a guy friend who is nuts over this girl back home. They’re not dating. They talk everyday, and they get along. But they’re not involved. In fact, SHE has a boyfriend. She clearly…CLEARLY leads him along as though she’s going to break up with her current boyfriend and go out with him…

…but why should she? She can have both men. One is good in bed with lots of bravado and masculinity…plus he’s closer location wise. The other is attentive and caring, listens to her needs and spends money on her.

The second guy is being her intellectual whore. He is akin to a real slut for men. Just as men would use a slut for a bag’n’run, this girl is using him as an emotional slut.

She can PRETEND they’re just friends. They can even be labeled as such. But, she’s leading him on.

An emotionally secure/sane woman wouldn’t need an intellectual whore. Heh.

And I dont like your terms. I find your post to be most offensive as a man.

A mature woman would never talk like that.

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Okay, time for Gabby to put in her two cents…

This has happened to me twice–friends first, then sex gets in the way. The first time, I fell in love with the guy. Hard. And he didn’t reciprocate. The second time…let’s just say it was more complicated. And yeah, I developed feelings for the guy. But it ultimately became too much to bear, and he wouldn’t leave me alone. Better to distance myself than to put up with bullshit I didn’t need.

Suffice it to say, I ended feeling like just a piece of ass in the end.

Guys and girls can’t JUST be friends.

And I realize I’m totally going a different direction with this thread…so shoot me.

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This really falls apart for similar reasons that any generalisation about gender. What do you mean by guys and girls? What about two people of compatible sexual orientation (two homosexual, a homosexual and a bisexual, two bisexuals)?

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I meant a man and a woman. I never even considered homosexuals and bisexuals. I can’t think of everything :wink:

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I do. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Sexual appeal is evident. There is a difference, and if anybody has spent any amount of time in the pursuit of the hottest women you will quickly note that beautiful women rarely have any personality.

Now don’t confuse anything, I said rarely. There is always a counter-example.

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Ugly women have personality but it is normally self depricating or resentful.

The question isn’t whether beautiful women have personality, it’s what kind of personality do they have. Everyone has personality.

Large women have personality traits that I often find unappealing. It’s hard to describe. It’s this bitter resentment of themselves turned onto society and personafied through my reaction to them. I’m just trying to be me, they’re always up in my shit.

There’s some exceptions, though. Like the woman I like right now. She’s not sweating me at all, but she’s not the thinnest person. I just like being around her. Plus she can drink like a fish…I love that in a woman.

However, when you look at it, there are traits that are more common to ugly women that are equally as unappealing as with beautiful women.

The fact of the matter is people are unnatractive on the whole. That’s why the mating process is so difficult. We’re all too picky. Smooth, you seem to have self esteem issues talking with beautiful women. As a result you try to find beauty in that which is a sure thing or safe bet. That’s ok, ugly chicks need love too. But let’s call a duck a duck, not a swan in disguise. I’ve met more than my fair share of ugly women that were down right mentally retarded. I’ve met more than my fair share of hot women who were also brilliant.

The question is…who could you have a conversation with after ya humpadump? Beautiful or oogly, that’s all I look for.

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Yes, I must have some issues when it comes down to gorgeous women. Mainly because the women that I do meet that are drop dead remind me of the same women that used to not even give me the time of day. I don’t know, it’s all complicated. But yeah, I would rather prefer the sure thing. Even though I go after the ‘trophy girl’ because I love beautiful things. But I have met women whose personality were the most attractive aspect of them.

I guess when you look at yourself and you think you are ugly, there is no helping you. But I wear my mask and go out there anyway. Performing in front of hundreds of people is nerve-wrecking, but I love it. But those are my issues, and I love them. People try to tell me that I shouldn’t be concerned about my physical image, but inside I say ‘Fuck them’! I rather think I’m ugly than walk around confident because I’m cute. I rather base my confidence on my reasoning skills and my inclination for improving my mind by whether or not I got a good body. You know?

In the end, it doesn’t really matter. Right?

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Did I call it or what?

Only reason I could tell was b/c I was/am in the same boat. I’m consciously trying to change, though…

I used to weigh 260 lbs at 5’11". It was hideous. Now I’m 5’11" and 170lbs.

Everytime I look in the mirror, though, I literally…LITERALLY…see a 260lb man. LITERALLY. Like, people tell me I look almost sickly thin sometimes, but I see a large man. I eat, I’m never left hungry, I’ve never had eating disorders (just went off anti-anxiety med and anti-depressants and lost the weight in a year)…I just …can’t stop …seeing…myself…as…yanno…THAT guy.

If a beautiful woman comes on to me, all I can think is, “What’s wrong with HER??” But…I’m conscious of this being wrong, and am trying to change it.

I was an intellectual whore. Now I just wanna be a whore.

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Knowing your weaknesses and vulnerabilities gives you strength over them. The honesty in the last two posts is awesome. Thankyou, both of you.

Metavoid, are you saying that two people of compatible sexual orientation ‘can’ ‘just’ be (close) friends? I think the sexual tension is still there, if they are both aware of their ‘compatibility’.

What would she need instead?

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A vibrator and a gay man in the next room.

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a gay man?

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woman usually have no reason to fear gay men, never noticed they allow em much more than other men… (hint, just fake you’re gay)
they feel comfortable around em, besides, gay men are often very kind…

to a woman, a gay man can be the ultimate friend…

willem

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You mean you guys are taking him seriously?

He’s just sayin’ it’s more emotionally secure than stringing along a dude who thinks he’s gettin’ some… He knocked down all three alternative females with that one (see my post on April 12)… sure shut /me/ up…

35

It’s not that these guys feel that they want to trade intellectual stimulation for sex; its rather that many men want to bonk their best friend. In fact I would say for these men, they want to bonk you iff you are their best friend. And it’s completely rational. If there is someone else out there who you can communicate better with, why not go bonk them and have a lovely relationship?

The women these poor slobs get intageled with (not all women- there are happy geek couples after all) seem to want to compartmentalize. They want a lover over here, and a confidant over there. This urge too is understandable as you don’t have all your eggs in one basket.

So in this case we have men who want wholeistic relationships complaining about women who want compartmentialized relationships.

Of course this happens the other way around too.

There are men who go through woman after woman while keeping a female confidant hanging on a string.

So its a simple difference of desires with no one at fault.

Some people want to have a friend and a lover.
Others want a friend that is a lover.

Notice this guy isn’t complaining about the girls he is friends with who have decent loveing boyfriends.

36

I think that no matter whether you’re male or female, you’ll always have an issue with a friend that doesn’t want to be as intimate as you may be.
This entire generalization that women are more shallow than men is ridiculous.
Get over yourselves.
Sure, women may be shallow, but what brought them to that?
Girls grow up hearing their parents tell them they’re fat, they go through high school watching boys fantisize about porn stars, and spend their entire lives wanting to just lose five more pounds. The entire complex that MEN have played an enormous role in creating, they’re now criticizing.
There isn’t nearly the same requirment of men as there is of women. Mildly good looking smart boys have enormous chances of attracting women. Whereas women need to primp AND be funny and interesting in order to be at all successful.
I’m not at all saying it’s at all right, but I don’t understand how anyone can wonder why women have grown so shallow.

37

Well, what do I have to say about this?

First off, most of the women that have made me an emotional whore, have obviously known that false psuedo- promises made with their eyes of future sex, in other words,
being a tease, were the only way to lure me into their trap of emotional attachment. And they also know that I wouldnt be thier friend if I didnt want to fuck them. While it is true that I expect all women to bow to my lordship by pleasing me sexually, so do all of the guys that they are fucking instead of me, so so what? They punish my constant emotional support with friendships, Reward assholes with stringless sex, and then complain thatall men are pigs…nopejustthe ones that they reward with sex I am afraid…that is the very reason they are pigs…

These friendships I have found, soon evolve to a sort of psuedo marriage, the relationship that never ends, no matter how bad youwant it to. You have to put up with all of the damn high maintenance crap, all of the arguments, but sill get now respect or sex…Andwhats worse, you have to watch your "wife"fuck other guys…If you voice acomplaint about it the friendship either ends, which means it was conditional on her part, so who cares, or, youare made to feellike you are throwing your little sister out i n the wild to fend for herself.

To be honest I have never valued female friendships, and if I o see women as sexual objects, so do their boyfriends, so I dont fell guilty, In fact, I think women see themselves as sexual objects, causthey know thats what gets them what they want, even friendship with me, or a bummed dollar from some schmuck somewhere…When women tell me that they keep me around for entertainment, I would equate it to a woman being told she is kept around for the purpsose of being a jizz-rag.

sorry if this post is fucked up, there is somthing wrong with my keys on my computer…True I am a funny guy, and not to bad looking either, but I think it comes down to the fact that women want to marry me and torture me with the horror of married life while getting thier fucks from people they hate…God I wish they would uin thier relationship with me

Hey This rant may seem angry, but at lest its not quasi feministic…ha… How can guys not be confused wi

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Intellectual whore men = dick in a glass jar BREAK IN CASE OF EMERGENCY to put it simple.

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