Is it ok to divorce your parents?

I dont mean legally. I just mean, once u become an adult, is it ok to move as far away from them as you can and not talk to them. I mean if they dont better your life and instead make it worse…

Why or why not? I mean am I really bound to these people because they chose to give birth to me and raise me–allbeit rather crapily- for a couple of dozen years after that.

ALright so then you have to keep them in your life after this, even though you dont want to, and you dont like them? Because you owe them? Just because theyre your parents? Why?

You should probably put the effort in to try to redeem the relationship with your parents.

But no, you have no moral obligation to them.

Life is about choices, life does not choose you. Your parents did make the choice to give birth which lead to your life but there is no obligation on your part to their choice. They had the obligation to the rearing of the child they chose. The obligation comes with the choices we make. You had no choice in the matter.

Your essence is your choice. The person that the world sees is a direct result of your choices. All of the things we allow into our existence are from a choice we have made, either poorly thought out, thoroughly thought out or negligently done. All of the people in your life are a choice. The influences they have on your essence through being in your existence are a choice.

Can you divorce your parents is not properly thought out. Are your parents people you want into your existence that will affect your essence is the proper question. Their choice to give birth to you has no direct bearing on your choice of the people in your life. They are only people that life forced into your existence to give you life. They are the same as any other family member. It is your choice if you want them in your existence now or not.

Yep, run, run far away. You owe your parents nothing. Absolutely nothing. they did not birth you to have you indentured or be a slave, they birthed you so that you can be better then them. If you find that your parents are crappy, then get out. You will be doing them a favor. I sure would not want a kid hanging around that thought I was a crap parent. I would love to forget a kid like that. Life is hard enough. If the kid can’t see me as a human with faults and forgive them, then that kid needs to leave. Do your folks a favor and leave them alone. You and they will be better off.

One day your parents will die, and you’ll feel like a real bitch when you re read this. It’ll probably be soon. Get ready for it.

Don’t haunt me, smears.

Ice, if you’ve gone through real abuse, you are pretty much urged to reject your parents at the earliest convenience. Mind you- not for a biker named “Biff” who offers you “group therapy.”

In my experience, an abusive parent is soon quite domestic in the face of a shark-knife.

You can certainly estrange them when you’re 18. I think there’s a more formal process to disowning them. And if you’re not 18 and willing to take the time to go on the internet and ask this, you should probably call a social service right away. And if they reject you you should probably steal something and live in jail until 18. (I swear, this type of story I’ve seen close-up before).

And if they’re really bad, maybe you can tell that “Biff” guy that you have real money for him provided he gives you a service . . . BUT DOESN’T INVOLVE YOU.

Also avoid public forums for advice.

ouch. this hit me hard.

Kriswest, you’re in a good position to consider an unappreciative child (that hit me hard too!) But objectivity is prudent. For all we know she could be having daddy diddling her every night . . . assuming any of the claims are real.

Gaia, Ice was not very forceful, the choice of the word crap meant almost your everday crappy parental stupid mistakes. If Ice was being molested a more forceful word would have been used. Parents do not get manuals, they do not take lessons or pass tests, any idiot can birth and raise a child. Idiots can give birth to a brilliant child and raise that child. As much as a parent could love that child that child may not be understood by the parent and visa versa. And so crap happens between them.
Resentment occurs. the child resents the parent, the parent resents the child. They stay as a family through social obligations and make their lives miserable. Ice’s parents and Ice are probably in this situation right now. A crappy raising most likely means lack of understanding and knowledge or caring on both parts, the parent and the child.

Ice I did not mean to hurt just, give you a harsh real possible parental perspective. If you resent your parents then there is every chance they harbor a resentment towards you too,even though they most likely will never admit it because resenting your child is socially unaccpetable. A variety of things can possibly be occuring. It really might be best for them and you to part ways. This of course does not mean severe all ties. This just means you go out and live your life and they live theirs.

I loved my mom but, I did not like her. She loved me but, could not like me. We could not live together peacefully, so my Dad raised me after their divorce. If Mom and I had been forced to live together through my teen years, we would have been miserable. As it is we got along because we had space between us. We spoke weekly on the phone. I had not laid eyes on my mom for 20 years, we just talked on the phone, she recently passed away. Perhaps I put too much space between us. I now regret not seeing her. She spoke of seeing me before she died, I did not listen, I did not think my mother would die. So I chalked it up to just mom being mom. I now feel pain from my choice.

Yes, Ice put space between you but, be careful of how you do it. You are all just faulty humans without instructions on each other. They may be crap parents, but do realize they were prbably decent humans before they were parents and humans make mistakes, society tends to be hard on mistakes. If I sense my son ever beginning to resent me or his father his butt will be out the door fast in order to preserve love. At 23 he still lives with us but, now he is more a paying tenent than a son until he builds his own home on the land. But, resentment can grow even at this point in life.

Typical bimbo bitch unaware of what she has vs typical screw-up unsure what to do. Hmm :-k

Oh geez. I’m sorry, Ice, I didn’t give you a lot of options there. 8-[ Well . . . umm . . . scratch that. On a more creative approach tell you’re mom you want to marry the “Biff” guy and see how she reacts, for shear entertainment. I hear it’s what all the kids are doing . . . gender-optional, of course.

:astonished: Biff? Marry a guy named Biff? Now that name just sounds abusive(I probably watched too much of the old Batman series as a kid. :laughing: ) Does the dude wear wife beater shirts too?

How the heck do people come up with names like that anyway? :confused: :unamused:

hey! one of my favorite singers is named Biff…

youtube.com/watch?v=DqgCjeddPvE

-Imp