Is it possible/normal to be asexual?

Been feeling a lot like that lately. I try to convince myself that I’m straight… but I find women more and more repulsive as time goes by. More so mentally than physically, but even when it comes to appearance I see the prettiest women in the world (as claimed by the majority) and go “meh”. I do find them aesthetically appealing like I would any other object, just not sexually attractive.

I didn’t have the need to masturbate for a long time. Too long. So I guess I’m not going gay either. And the odd thing is that I’m 18 so I should have a mad sex drive and want to fuck everything that moves and resembles a female in its shape. But I don’t. I did couple of years ago. Not anymore.

I’m just wondering if anybody else has had similar experiences and what do you think about it. Is it just a phase? Or is asexuality a legit sexual orientation?

Yeah, it’s possible as far as I’ve read. As for being “normal”, who cares?

Do you find yourself still attracted to the romantic aspects of relationships at all?

First of all, i am sure that you are lying when you say that you are merely 18 year old.

with love,
sanjay

I like the idea of a close relationship, but most stuff that is perceived as “romantic” I find pretentious and disgusting.

Haha, I know I shouldn’t have cause that’s probably not how you intended it, but I took that as a compliment. I really am 18 years old. What makes you think otherwise?

That is really a compliment, but only if you are 18, otherwise it is a plain accusation of telling lies.

And, i am saying it because you have said some such things and shown the knowledge of such issues, which a 18 year old boy cannot have ever. Secondly, you most favored subject is religion and spirituaity and that again gives the impression that 18 year cannot be your age.

And, 3sum, i am quite sure of that, unless you are a rare one from the millions of that age.

with love,
sanjay

Buy some pussy. You’ll feel better about yourself afterwards.

I’m not sure whether you’re really easy to impress or you’re successfully mocking me. I’ve only shown basic reasoning and basic knowledge about Christianity. And the fact that religion and spirituality is my most favored subject doesn’t indicate that I’m older or more knowledgeable overall IMO, anybody can speak about religion, it’s a subject intended for ignorant masses in the first place. The reason I stay away from science subforum is precisely because my knowledge about it is less than the average here and I don’t like talking about politics as I haven’t fully formed my opinions about it yet.

I guess it’s hard for heterosexual males to understand, but I just don’t feel like it anymore. I’m not interested, at all.

I encourage others with similar feelings to share their experiences here also, and any opinion is welcome (even a negative one).

I guess I should try to explain how it feels being asexual (or at least feeling like it). It’s very confusing for me still. I always thought I’ll have wife and children but now I just don’t feel like it anymore. It all seems like a big, unnecessary annoyance. I feel the duty to not let down my parents and grandparents, the duty to be normal, get married and have kids (like everybody wants me to), but at the same time I’m completely uninterested in it. I keep asking myself “Is this just a phase?”, “Will this ever be over?”. My parents first thought I was impotent. Hell, I started thinking that too for a short time. But there’s a difference. Impotent men still feel attraction, they just can’t get it up. I don’t feel attraction, at all. I don’t want to have sex, I want to WANT to have sex, just to feel normal again. But then again, I feel like this is the real me, that this is the way I’m supposed to be and that I shouldn’t change for anybody. Those contradictory opinions of what I feel like I really am and what I should be keep tearing me apart.

I’m sorry if this is boring or weird, but I need to get it out somewhere.

I can relate to admiring the opposite sex but not wanting to go there… I have dated a few times, but my heart never seemed to be in it… part of me is content with this situation and part of me is not.

Whatever floats your boat. I honestly can’t think of a world without sex.

I am also a family man which might come a surprise to many here. My goal is to have three sons or more. I have a lot of work ahead of me. :laughing:

There is too much emphasis on sex. The media and peer pressure places it in the number one interest position for most age groups. If you are not horny, you are supposed to be abnormal. Well that is a big load of horseshit.
You are most likely not asexual, your brain is just occupied with other subjects that have more importance.
Don’t be common and fall for sexual pressure, be yourself.

with love,
sanjay

In the history of sexuality, there appears many irregularities, some bordering on the bizarre. The two kinds of asexuality i would like to comment on are 1. Voluntary, or predicated by individual choice of lifestyle, and 2. Involuntary, those states and lifestyles predicated upon hormonal irregularities, like deficiencies of testosterone and estrogen.

The first type, sees sexuality as more trouble than it is worth, and resolves to do something about it? Historically, self mutilation/castration been practiced, and during the Middle Ages, the use of such devices as chastity belts, iron maidens, public and private scourging were widely practiced. The use of eunuchs in harems , during the Ottoman Empire, assured no hanky panky on the part of guards, and assured fidelity of hundreds of wives of the lucky proprietors of such estates.

The hormonal variability among people, is a totally relative biochemical fact, where some find themselves torn by sexual passions, while others seem cold as ice, using their sexuality for such things as emotional and material security.

Asexuality of the first, forced kind, is very regrettable, as is the second type, where the addition of hormones can make all the difference in the world.

There is a third, albeit dangerous kind, and it deals with certain esoteric practices, such as Tantra Yoga, where the sought after value entails progressive insight into the relationship between those types of practices and the transposition of sexual energies into the realm of higher functions. Dangerous, because the energies at times are unmanageable, and create unfortunate energy displacements into areas, best left undisturbed.

Consider the sheer amount of time and mental resources you conserve by not being preoccupied with sex all the time. I imagine that could actually be quite liberating.

It’s probably outside “normal”. But ‘normal’ is nothing more than a statistical average.
There are two possibilities, maybe three.

  1. You are in fact gay, but have a lot of social and parental pressure suppressing those feelings. This can happen without you realising it. Only you can know how you feel about homosexuality. If there are plenty of gay people around, and it is acceptable in your community, then I don’t think this explanation works. If, however, you live amongst very religious people, say, then this might be an explanation.
  2. Some people just don’t have much of a sex drive, and that is perfectly natural, though outside the “norm”. From the way you describe your problem, it seems like you have experienced a change, though. If you recently have had a sex drive and this seem to have departed, then…
  3. You might have some medical condition that is inhibiting your interest in sex. A doctor can tell you if this is the case with a few tests. I am assuming that you have the usual collection of secondary sexual characteristics such as hair on the genitals, and on the face, broken voice. Absence of these might be an indication of a condition, but look to your father. If his beard growth is similar to yours then, that is natural for you.

Didn’t you have a daughter?

I think it’s a legit orientation so long as psychological fears or chemical imbalance/depression aren’t blocking you.

The bottom line for me is if you’re healthy and it isn’t causing you problems, then there’s no need to change simply to fit expectations.

Having said that, I find this a bit disturbing:

How can all the people in one group (women) be repulsive if you’re emotionally healthy?

I think Morrissey is asexual so yeah it’s possible. Not sure if it’s normal. I mean…what’s normal? How can we really even know?

Normal is just a statistical notion. So yes we can know - by counting.

Yes, I have a daughter. She’s doing fine. I see her often. In the custody of her mother however…

Me and her mother are no longer together.